I step up to the edge of the cliff. I look down into the city, seeing fire and destruction. I wrap my arms around my body and slowly sink to the ground. Tears streaming down my cheeks, I know that all this started because of me. Because of my inability to see people for what they really are. The smell of the fire reaches my nose, carrying on it the stench of burning flesh. I vomit and I place my hand on my chest and scream. I scream for all the lives lost, all the children suffering, all the angels now bound to human form. I scream for him. I scream for Xander. I scream, hoping to hold him tightly to me soon. I watch from a distance, my body begging for rest, my mind telling me it’s not safe. I place my hand on the tiny bump under my shirt. My child does not deserve to live in this mess I've made. It is my fault that all of this has happened. I tainted an angel. My blond hair is run through with dirt and ash, and maybe blood. I can hear the people screaming, "God save us!"
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