She

She started working in a legal office after she found out that her husband , whom she loved more than anyone else, whom she gave everything she got, and whom was her entire world, has been married to another woman for some time now. For more than five months, she has been devastated , heartbroken and in so much pain; however, she did not leave him or ask for a divorce.

One day, she noticed that her co-worker was standing at the door of her office and looking at her. She turned her face to look at him trying to figure out what does he want.
She smiled. For her, he was the closest thing to a friend. She liked talking to him, asking him for advice, and helping when there was help. She could not say that he was a friend because of the society that condemns any woman for any social act she takes. Therefore, she kept it as professional as possible.
"hi" he greeted her so nervously.
"hay, what's up? Why do you look so ....."she said, smiling, trying to read what his eyes are so shy to tell.
He was hesitant. He did not want to ruin what they had, but it was not enough for him.
" I think that you should get a divorce, why do you have to go through all of this suffering and pain? ....for someone who did not appreciate you, for a man who did not love you? Why?" he argued.
She was shocked.
" why are you. Bringing this up now? Did anything happened? Do you know anything that may hurt me? What's wrong?" she asked.
" No, nothing happened. ......." he knew that it was now or never " I cannot keep it to myself any more. I cannot pretend that I am ok with everything happening to you. I .. I really care about you" she interrupted him" I know you do"
" no not like that. You see...... I want to be with you. I love you. No, I adore you. I long to see your smile . I love the way you talk , eat, laugh, every single thing you do" he was excited now.

All the anxiety and stress are gone.
"STOP" her word put an end to his excitement. " please stop, I don't want to hear that. I am Married. I have kids. I cannot he
you say that. What do you expect me to do? Be thrilled?" her tears curved its way through her make up.
" I expect nothing. But I promise to put your happiness before mine. I promise to make you the happiest woman who have been ever born, to make you forget all the pain. I promise you my heart, life, dreams, house, my entire self. I am not expecting anything, but I am praying that you will take a decision that will make you happy and hoping it will make me happy too............ You have been miserable and in so much pain. I think that you need to put an end to that. He choose to be with another woman. Why do you want to stay married to that jerk? Why don't you break free? Why do you put up with all of this pain? He doesn't even call to see if your all right? Please,......., leave him! Break free! Give yourself another chance!"


Silence .... For two long seconds, silence ruled.while she was crying silently, he was praying. He felt a lot of heat is moving in his brain and killing him.

Finally she spoke" You know why I did not ask for divorce even though I was humiliated and lonely. .....Because of my kids. …Because he can take them away from me. He has the right to take them away. After all what I did. After carrying each one of them for nine months, after going through hell, and experience death to see them, after raising them all of these years, after I gave them my life and everything I got, he has the right to take them away from me. He destroyed me, and he has the right to take them away. I cannot survive without them. I cannot live without them in my life. Can you understand? If he takes them away, I die, I lose everything." she collapsed on the desk. She cried so loudly.

His friendship was the shelter that gave her the feeling of being secured, and of being loved for who she is. Now, she has to let him go. She cannot be friends with him knowing that he loved her.

"I am so sorry, but you have to go. I want you to leave me and stop talking to me. We need to stop. We have to. Please, understand ! I cannot give you anything. ... Please, go!" she said while the tears wear burning her eyes.

Did she feel anything for him? Yes, she did. But, these feelings had to be buried and silenced. These feelings can't see the light. He knew that, but could not say or do anything. Looked in to her eyes which were shining with his face reflected inside. He smiled to her, held a paper and a pen, wrote something, fold the paper, kissed it, and put it in front of her. He smiled again, and left the room.

Her hands were shivering while opening the paper. The words were blurred by her tears as she read:
" I'll love you for as long as eternity goes. I'll leave happy after I saw that look in your eyes. I'll always be there for you. And if you've ever changed your mind, You will find me waiting eagerly for your word. "