Upon Leaving Charleston Chapter One

MARGARET ANN



Upon leaving Charleston I, Margaret Ann McAdams, looked around taking in all that had become so familiar to me during my visit in this fine city. Unfortunately I must return to Virginia where home and family anxiously await my arrival after a much extended stay with my cousins.  A trip that was to have lasted a fortnight evolved into a lengthy three months when my youngest cousin, Sue Ella, took suddenly ill with Scarlet Fever after I had been in their home for only four days.  I have never received any formal training as a nurse but was quite experienced just the same as my mother had died after several years of battling consumption and I as of necessity had done most of her care giving.  My cousins had, without success, insisted I return home immediately upon the onset of the illness but I forcefully installed myself within the walls of my dear Sue Ella's room and there I stayed until all danger had passed and she was once again her apple cheeked self.  Of course the poor thing will never fully recover, she has been left with a weak heart, but with her life intact, and that is all any of us care about.



I grew to love this beautiful city as I walked the narrow cobbled streets daily to the waterfront at the Battery in order to get the items I knew would encourage Sue Ella to do what she must to increase her health.  The market was truly a God send for me as I browsed among all the vendors selling everything from fresh fruits and seafood off the ships to local fare such as was needed for all those Charleston secret recipes.  I would weave in and out of the stalls, picking up a lemon here and an orange there, smelling the heavenly fragrances that swiftly carried me, at least in thought, back to my much missed home in Norfolk Virginia. These bustling, seaside cities were beautiful but the similarities stopped there.  The architecture was of another world here in Charleston South Carolina and the Palmetto trees; I had never seen the like.  The things that so reminded me of home were from the sea; the smell of fish, the taste of salt from the ocean and the sounds of the ship horns and church bells.  I had discovered a sister Church Street here that as I had always walked when at home in Norfolk, I found myself drawn to here as well.  I would never miss an opportunity to stop at St. Michael's and kneel for a few moments of prayer for my cousin and for myself as I nursed.



I had received many letters over the week's postmarked Norfolk, and though always glad for news from home, I sighed before opening them as I knew they also contained pleas for my return.  I had left behind two younger sisters without a Mama; as I had replaced theirs when our own had died and they missed me.  I was often times at a loss as too why, given that my instincts were much harsher than our own dear Mama's had been.  She had often been too lenient with them as far as I was concerned but of course this was due mostly to her illness. I thought myself familiar with every aspect of mothering as I assisted Mama and her maid. Having concluded that while it is certainly a good thing to allow a child some independence it was another all together to let them run wild as she had done.  Although I was strict with my sisters I loved them too much to follow through on my own rules; at times this was due to all that they had suffered watching their sweet Mama die. Our Papa was gone from our Norfolk home a considerable amount of time and I was left completely alone to finish seeing my sisters to young adulthood.  I often wondered how being mother to my two sisters would change how I might raise my own when and if they came into the world.  One must meet and fall in love with the right man in order for that to happen and I believed that I may have already done that very thing.



Sue Ella's illness lingered, leaving her listless and depressed while her body slowly healed.  Most of the day I would spend in her room, just the two of us, me tenderly watching over my patient, reading to her our most cherished bible verses and from my own favorite books as well.  I would sit by her bedroom window while she slept, crocheting gifts for my sisters and cousins, and daydream of what life was like back in Norfolk.  I had only one regret from my extended visit and that was a special young man that had been formerly introduced to me just a few short weeks before I left to visit Charleston.  He was a fine, upstanding citizen of Norfolk and our parents had been friends in their youth, his father and mine serving together in the Navy.  We had never met before my going away dinner and charming was the best way to describe that first meeting; utterly and completely charming.  His smiled reached to the corners of his eyes; this was an important clue to a genuine smile as taught to me by my Grandmother on my father's side of the family.  His name was Gregory and he had seen me on my way from the pier in Norfolk when I left and had written me at least once a week since my arrival in Charleston.  Yes, I spent many hours daydreaming in the sick room, hoping that he too was thinking about our short acquaintance.



My cousins had been very good to me, offering all types of assistance during their sister's illness.  I had always been closest to Elizabeth, in age and friendship and this relationship blossomed over the course of my stay in Charleston.  Many an afternoon she would sit with us, working on a needlepoint and chatting away, telling us all of the town's gossip.  This of course meant nothing to me at all, not knowing many Charlestonians; but having company to chase away the hours was a tremendous support.  We whispered over her sister's sick bed as the patient slept, covering our giggles with our hands over our mouths so as not to awaken her.  I often spoke of Gregory and Elizabeth was quick with advise as how to respond to his many letters although I never allowed her to read them, just gave her insignificant details that left her smiling a knowing smile since she was after all a good year older than I and more experienced with men, or so she thought.  Sometimes she would knock on the closed bedroom door, interrupting me as I wrote my secret thoughts in a journal and I would quickly hide the book under my yarn and pick up the needles before giving her permission to enter.  I loved Elizabeth and though she was dear to me, I found it hard to trust her with my deepest thoughts and secrets.



The doctor who had attended Sue Ella came every other day now instead of hourly as he had at the beginning of her illness.  His office was only two streets over from the address of my family's town house and so was convenient to all of us as we could easily send a servant to pick up supplies or I myself might do so when on one of my daily walks.  Those walks were not only my exercise but also served to be sufficient as a poor and unfulfilled social life.  Of course my original plan had been to only stay those first two weeks and as I had volunteered my assistance as nurse which led to the subsequent week I had no real regret of course; only I was missing my home and sisters, not to speak of Gregory though I hardly knew him.  More often or not when I thought of him it was as a daydream; thinking of what might by chance come to fruition one day when I returned to Norfolk.  Now that Sue Ella was much better and could receive company, I was afforded more time to myself and spent much of it on errands where I would take as much time as I dared.  I took the opportunity to think as I walked; thinking of my future and my sisters' futures, since theirs were so entangled with my own.  There had been three babies buried before my sisters came along to in part help heal my parents' loss and now with only me left to worry for them, I was consumed with the desire to do right by them and of course I had my own self to think about as well.  The walks became very important as I found very little time alone while in my cousin's home.  They were important for another reason; the doctor.



I barely knew Gregory and he was really more than a character from one of the new romance novels in his letters, but Doctor Fritz Jarrel was all together real; young and very distinguished.  He was also unattached and made this known to me almost immediately upon our association.  As I read Gregory's letters from Norfolk trying to picture his face, often it was Fritz's handsome profile I would see and I would begin to feel flush as I considered each man and what he offered me.  On the one hand of course Gregory was in Norfolk, to where I knew I would return one day, but, Fritz was here, in Charleston and our relationship was not a daydream, not a young girl wishing away the hours, but one that was blossoming into real feelings.  I could only shudder to think what Papa might think if he knew.  He was certainly at home now pacing in his office praying that a letter or telegram would arrive any moment announcing my homecoming.  I hoped he would not be too disappointed as I had no intention of leaving Charleston until I was sure of my feelings for Fritz and his for me.  As the days passed and I was able to escape Sue Ella's sick room for longer periods of time I found myself drawn to Fritz's office, always with one excuse or another for the patient's needs; imagined or not. 



Charleston is a beautiful city anytime of the year but my visit happened to be in the spring and how lucky I was.  Color was everywhere one looked, flowering shrubbery such as the azalea and hydrangea were in full bloom as were all the jonquils and crocus, the landscapes of the lawns and gardens were perfectly matched to the gaily painted houses.  As I took my daily walk I would try to absorb all that the city offered in color, sounds and scents.  It was amazing how much it reminded me of Norfolk in many ways yet how different it was in so many others.  I thought often of my home, wondering when the next letter would arrive begging for my return, my sisters complaining that they could not tolerate their tutor or maid, Papa demanding news of Sue Ella and a formal arrival date for my return home.  Papa and I were never close but one thing I knew, he appreciated all that I had done for the girls after Mama had died and never hesitated to add to my duties.  I realized how hard it must be for him now with me gone as well; yet I could not see my way to leaving Charleston just now, even though Sue Ella really was recovering very quickly at this point.  I was so caught up with these new-found feelings; I had never before afforded any time for romance and I wanted to enjoy and learn as much as I could from this experience, and could not, at least in the near future see myself going back to Norfolk.  As I would walk I gravitated to Fritz's office often without an excuse in hand.  It was getting so I didn't need one.