Rare scares

    Sitting in the class room, I was waiting for the bell to ring because there was so much stress in my body I was about to explode into tears. We had five mineuts left of class, and I knew she was about to hand me a paper with homework. I just got that feeling. She looked at me and nodded, she could tell I was stressed. Running out of the classroom, I went to my locker, put everything into my bookbag, ran home.
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Slaming the door when I walk into my house, my boyfriend wasn't home. I was glad. Looking up the staircase to our room, I dropped my bookbag and ran up the stairs. Opening my room to my room, I left it open. Headed straight for the bathroom, I ran inside, locked the door. Getting my pads out, I hide a razor in the bottom of it. I get it out.
                                                          Before I could do anything, I heard the downstairs door open. My boyfriend was home, I wanted, more like needed to do this. He ran up stairs, he knew I did this kinda stuff. Stupid stuff. Knocking on the door, "Babe, are you okay?" He sounded so worried, I was almost out of breath, I was so scared that he knew I was doing this, "I'm fine." I was lieing. "Babe, open the door." Contineing to do what I was doing was I was doing before, I heard him walk away to get the key to our door. Rushing to do this, I grabbed the razor, I cut.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Blood running down my arm, I lay back. Breathing heavly, hearing him running up the stairs. I was fine that he could come in now, I just didn't want him to be so worried or stressed. He knew when I beat him home, I wasn't okay. He grabbed the door nob, he unlocked it. He looked around for me, turned my way. Dropped the key, "Babe, are you okay? Why'd you do this babe? You know this hurts you. I love you, please stop. Talk to me." He keep talking but I passed out.
                                                When I woke up I was on our bed, my arm was wrapped. My boyfriend was sitting on the bed next to me when I woke up. He tried his best to make sure I was okay, he tired so hard to keep me from doing this. "Baby, look at me please. Now, are you okay? Does it still hurt?" He sounded tired, stressed, hurt, confused. Not wanting to talk yet, I nodded my head, "Want me to get some pain killers?" He asked. About to nod my head, my phone rang. It was my friend Taylor. "Ela, she can talk later. You need to talk to me." I fell asleep.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  This time Taylor was over here. She always is here when I cut myself. Ryan likes to call her. "Hey, do you wanna talk, or you still tired?" I shoke my head because I wasn't in the mood to talk about everything that was going on right now. Changing my mind, I looked behinde me. The bucket was their because I got sick sometimes when I cut. Standing up, I move the bucket. Looking at the bathroom, Ryan comes in the room, "Ela no!" He runs straight to me, I was to weak to struggle with him.
                                                                                Ryan looks like he was about to cry, they both could tell I was weak. Taylor went downstairs, I guess Ryan wanted to give me the, "cut talk". "Elia, you know this hurts, yourself, Taylor and I. You need to stop before something serious really happens. You could stop breathing or even die from this. Next time you feel like your gonna do this, tell me. Okay?" I didn't want to lie to him.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The next day was school, so I got up, put a long sleave shirt on, headed out the door. I could already tell it was going to be a stressful day. First period was okay, but when I walked into Math class I got really mad because the number one person I hate joined my class. I moaned and sat into my seat. He walked over to me and said, "Hey babe, wanna have a good time after school?" The teacher told him to sit down, of course he had to sit next me. He tried to talk to me, I ignored him. "Do ya?" The bell had three mineuts left till it goes off, I was thinking about cutting because he's in my next to classes.
                              After class was over, he grabbed my arm, the one with cuts on it, and pushed me against the lockers, he kissed me. I pushed him away, he though I was playing hard to get, came over, grabbed me again. Harder, I pushed him. He got the message that I didn't like him, so he grabbed me than just slammed me into the lockers, four times. Our math teacher finally heard the noise came out here and yelled, "Trevor! Get off her now! Go home!" As soon as he left, she came over to me and took me up to the nurse, I almost fell three times. They called Ryan to come get me because it was impossible to walk.
                                                                    Ryan was there in about ten mineuts, the nurse had to keep me awake. I hardely heard anything she was saying, or asking. Ryan came through the doors, asked what happened. "All we know was that this kid was pushing her up againist these lockers. She may need to go get checked out, looks like shes having a hard time to stay awake."
                                                                                                                                                          Ryan nods, grabs me, picks me up and I lay my head in his chest. He tells me not to fall asleep but I was too tired. When I woke up, I heard beeping and that isn't what I normally wake up too.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I heard people telling me not to move, or stay calm. All I was forcing on was the pain, on my arm, my head and stomach. Not knowing where I was, I leaned over and thrown up. Hearing people around me, I ignored it. Slowing laying back down, I fell asleep. When I woke up this time, I heard nothing but wispers, I didn't want to interupt  them so I just listened.
                                                                                                            "Why'd Trevor do that, and what happened?" It was Taylor, so I as guessing Ryan was with her, "They don't know, all they told me she was in  school they heard slamming, and came out and saw Ela on the floor. They called me and I took her to the hosiptal. The nurse told me to keep her on this medicine." It was Ryan. After Ryan had said that, I felt as if that was enough and I should wake up. Interupting them, I turned over. Ryan came over to me, I opened my eyes,"Hey Babe, are you okay?" I saw that my arm was wrapped, when it shouldn't of been. This all confused me, I kinda forgot how this happened. Dizzyness took over my body, this time ignoring was not an obstion.
                                              Hearing ruffing of pills and paper, someone layed me back down. "Ryan, this isn't okay, she can't cut. You have to let her avoid it, it could kill her." That wasn't a shock to me, "Taylor, I have to leave soon. Please don't let her do anything, harming or anything. She needs to take her medicine in an hour. Your her best friend, now do your job and pertect her, I have to work." Ryan said scared that I was going to do something, and I was going to soon. Hearing the door shut, our bed room door. Opening my eye's making sure Taylor wasn't looking. Getting up, I walked to the bathroom. Shut the door, I heard Taylor yelling something but I wasn't sure.
                                                                                                                                                      As soon as Taylor was done yelling, Ryan was at the door. "Elia, please don't. You can die from doing this again, please! Baby, open the door!" I had the spare key so he couldn't get in. Knowing this could kill me, I was dirrermed to do it because I couldn't stand the pain. Looking for my box that I have my razor's in, they keep asking for me to open the door. They wouldn't leave so I had to do it under a lot more stress than usally. Finally finding my box, I grabbed it. Grabbed the razor, I started to panic. "Ela, are you okay?!" Ryan yelled, he couldn't stand this anymore.
                                                                                                                                    Breathing so heavy they could hear me, I took it and cut really deep. I gasped. I started crying, about to yell they got the door open. Trying so hard not to give up, he opened the door and got me. "Taylor, go get me some stuff  now!" He was crying because he had been way to deep. Wanting to die right then, so I just finally gave up. I had stopped breathing, I  couldn't hear anything but silence.
                                                          Breathing again, I started coughing, I was still on the floor in the bathroom. "Ela, please! Listen, I'm sorry for not always being here for you, I need you! Please!" Hearing this broke my hear. I was looking at all the blood coming out of my arm. Trying to tell them I didn't want them to help, but I wanted it. Gasping because I had tried moving my arm, "Ela, no stay still. It's going to be okay." Ryan was crying his eyes out, he knew that it wasn't going to. He didn't know if this was going to be the last time or not.
                                                                                                                                                                            Taylor had came back up with the stuff by now. He had gotten something out to clean it and wrap it, "Ela, this might hurt..." He knew it was but he wanted to warn me. Ryan grabbed the stuff and  I couldn't handle it. Starting crying and trying to grab something because of the pain.