No Entry.

I want it, at least that’s what society tells me I should want as a healthy adult looking to establish myself as an active participant. I believe he will do because we have been friends for so long and I feel safe and desired so I will give in to the so called craving, this need my friends have and I lie claiming that I have too. He looks me in the eye after a play fight, squealing and giggling in his arms and then he kisses me with such intent and earnest. My mind is quickly filled with thoughts of you, I can’t escape your eyes, touch, and smell as he tries his best to replace you, all in vain. This flood goes dry as I hear your voice, your laugh, the smooth prickly sensation of your beard against my skin, so much so that I have stop this fellow because the entrance to my soul has been locked, the key missing. We stare at the wall in our nakedness, mine deeper than he’ll ever know for the person that holds the key is absent but ever present at my every door.