Oh Lord, I Don't Understand

I don't understand.

I hate these nights that come and go
The annoying flashes of fear haunt me so
Creeping up, while I ponder the unknown
Still I ask, "What is it like?" Will it be light, dark, or will I be alone

Heaven or Hell, we choose where we will live
Though my mind cannot process what it means to not exist
Why do these fitful thoughts keep my mind tied up and bound
How do I purge these images, before I have a mental break down

Lord, forgive me I ask; I know You hear me
I do not want to fail You, You're what I truly need
I love You, oh Lord; I long to crave for You
Uncertain of why You have me here, but I'm not leaving anytime soon

Though there's confusion about, I wait for clarity
Until then, I'll do my best to give You all You require of me
You've done so much that saying "thank You" can't prove
So each day I go on, I draw closer and closer to You

So many things I want and see
But You alone, makes my heart beat
I revere You, adore You, lift You up, and praise Your name
You are the King of kings, Lord of lords, and above all else Lord, You reign