The Stanic News Show

"More floods and earthquakes this morning and the commuter traffic
is expectedly grid locked. Alice is here now with the weather forecast."
Anchor Dayna Dunbar shuffles his papers.

"Thanks Dayna! Well, toads are falling from the sky.. again.
This is caused by mini tornados that suck up toads in wet lands and
let them drop on you. My Cajun cousin, likes to saute them in butter
and burban.

Images of the face of Jesus abound. One viewer writes in that he saw
Jesus face in his smashed windshield after a severe flaming hailstorm
in Galvaston, Texas. Seems like a butane gas pocket blew up the
trailer park.

But, the next three days should be sunny with mild screaming
winds from the Hell hole that appeared over the Capital.
Don't forget to wear lots of sun block! back to you Dayna."
Alice has a frozen toothy smile.

"In related news. Most Christians have been rounded up and sent
to the great and powerful Aljazeera Network for reeducation.
We have commentary from Regis Feldmen, who is an Aljazeera
spokes person." The anchor man turns to his teli screen.

"HI! THIS IS REGIS FELDMEN! AND EVERYBODY HERE IS
HAVING A GREAT TIME LEARNING SHARIA!
I JUST GOT A WEDGY ON MY PRAYER RUG!
PEACE BE WITH YOU AND HAVE YOU GIVEN BLOOD AT
YOUR LOCAL TD BANK NORTH?! YOU COULD BE INSTANTLY
APPROVED FOR A MORTGAGE REFINANCE!"
Regis is cut off.

The wrap up of the news is a circus clown throwing a whip cream
pie in the anchor's Dayna Dunbar's face.


Sandra Bullock wanders onto the set topless in a tutu.
"Hey! Did you cut my spot?" she asks and is hit in the face with
a cream pie.


"5,000 Mason bricks to go!" Dayna shouts and they all wave
bye-bye.


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