Mute

It's not like I haven't tried to speak. I open my mouth but choke on the words. All it takes is one tirade from my father to send my retreating back into my silent world.



It wasn't like that when Mama was alive. I didn't talk a lot like my twin sister Maxi, but I spoke in school when I needed to. Papa had a temper like now. But Mama kept him in check. We were not a perfect family but it wasn't like now.



Maxi has become my voice. It is like there is this connection between us. She understands what I want to say even though I don't speak.



Today in class, she raises her hand and tells Mr. Evans I need to go to the bathroom. He groans and motions for me to go. The teachers have all given up on me. They assume I am dumb and unteachable even though I manage to do all my schoolwork.



After school Maxi and I walk home together. I cling to my sister's hand even though we are twelve years old. Maxi shields me from the other children who taunt me and call me a dummy and a retard.



"I don't why you're so afraid, Anna. I won't let anything bad happen to you. Ever."



When we get home Papa is not there Maxi says he must be down at Frank's bar getting soused. We go upstairs to our room and lock the door, living in fear of his eventual arrival home.



We are in luck. He comes home and quickly passes out on the couch. We get ourselves ready for bed and I huddle in Maxi's bed close to her.



I have dreams that Mama is still alive. Mama, Maxi and me are all sitting together at a table laughing and talking together. Papa is nowhere to be seen.



I wake up in the night eager to share my wonderful dream with my sister. Then I hear Papa down the hall shouting. Once again, the words do not come.