She

She thought that she was feeling better. She did not have depression or suicidal thoughts, she wasn't there. I hope for her that my last sentence won't become different like adding 'yet' at the end or replacing 'did not' and taking off the 'she wasn't there' and changing the verb tense of 'have' so it can be read fluently. She already self-harmed before but that was a while back and it was minim. She simply tried to pierce her skin with a toothpick when no one was around. Once in a while, she'd also scrath her calves as hard as she could when she was taking a bath. Yesterday, she pondered on engraving the letters F-A-T on the right thigh. But she didn't. She played basketball and had gym class and her family always had the beach vacation down to the US each summer. She couldn't do that. She never tried to make herself vomit therefore she wasn't bulimic. She wasn't anorexic either, although it happened once during the end of the school year last year. She hadn't eaten breakfast, but she never did anyway, and she hadn't eaten lunch either because she 'forgot it home'. That afternoon, they had to run for twenty minutes in gym and she was able to do it but she felt extremly weak after. She isn't in a relationship with someone either. She hadn't been in about two years. She claims herself that yes, she was in love before, but not at its full capacity. She had many friends and doesn't have any direct ennemies. Her friends are always there to listen to her and make her laugh and yadadadadada. She isn't dyslexic. In fact, she has quite good grades at school. She works hard to get them and keep them where they are right now. I can't imagine the pressure she might have from her dad and her sisters to keep her grades but everyone has this kind of pressure. She isn't obese either. She has muffin tops and thick, large thighs and a belly. The fact that she has very small breasts doesn't help either. It doesn't compensate for the fatness of her body. She isn't a lesbian or a bisexual also. She's a complete heterosexual. She couldn't be bullied or left out because of her sexual orientation since her whole entourage, hence, her whole school except for one student is heterosexual.

So if she isn't bulimic or anorexic or depressed or suicidal or self-harming or broken hearted or dyslexic or obese or gay, why are her feelings so low?