Breaking Bondage

  I could feel their breath on my neck. The icy chill of their hoarse breathing made the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. I could here the voices of those on the other side calling my name, beckoning me to come join them. But, I couldn’t. I didn’t know if it was because I didn’t want to or if I just didn’t have the strength to do what must be done. What ever the reason, it seemed the harder I tried to make a move, the farther I was dragged back down. Cold, dead hands wrapped their corpse-like fingers around every part of my naked body squeezing harder, suffocating what little life was left in me. “You belong to us now,” they would say. I guess this is what I deserved for selling my soul to the devil that day, whilst dancing with the demons.

  What a damn fool I had been. They say pride comes before the fall; I can tell you my friends that indeed it does. I know the pain that the leader of those who wish to destroy me now felt, as he plummeted from the heavens; an angel fallen, with no wings to slow him. Normally, I would have said no; relying upon Godly wisdom to guide me. Not that night. In a moment of weakness I allowed myself to sway to the smooth tongue of the devil, seemingly falling into a trance of which I could not awaken from. In hindsight, I wish I could have been stronger. If He was testing my motives over the course of those next few days, I surely failed. Not only had I failed myself, but even worse, I failed Him. I turned my back on righteousness, conceding to temptation.

  My dreams were finally going to be mine no matter how I achieved them; whether I lied, cheated or killed my way to the top. In a matter of speaking, I did just that, allowing desire to be my new master. Desire became the whore that broke my back. Only she knows how to mix business and pleasure in such a way that will eventually lead to a man’s demise. Oh, how the promises that flow from her lips can be so sweet, and yet, so hollow.

  Having abandoned the fetal position, I now lie on my back on this bed of shame. My eyes transfixed on the stars and my arms outstretched towards the heavens, my fingers grasp at nothing. My weekly meeting with my new owner has just adjourned, leaving me with nothing but emptiness. He seems like an honest hard-working individual, yet he is still one of them. If there is one thing that I have learned since committing myself to them it is this: TRUST NO MAN. I long for the day when I finally tell him it is over, he no longer controls me. I belong to him, and ultimately to them, but those who wish to leave are permitted to. If only it were that simple, however. In order for this to happen one must first break the chains which truly bind him; the chains that the bearer himself forged from his own transgressions.

  This life has now become my prison. Inner demons stand guard day and night, monitoring my every move. My thoughts are the only thing that are still truly my own. Those too will eventually become theirs once the brain-washing begins. Everything else belongs to them. The shackles that bind my ankles and wrists are named justly: deception, lies, greed, and selfishness. Pride is the noose around my neck waiting for me to fall once the thin ice that I tread upon finally melts. As aforementioned, shame is the bed that I lay upon. It is but a bed of nails keeping me awake at night with pain and anguish, forcing me to cry myself to sleep.

  Time is lost to me now for I have no concept of it. I know not which day it truly is, for they all seem to run together now. Day and night are too difficult to distinguish as the days seem just as dark as the nights. Now that I serve them I see a different side to humanity. I live in a violent society hell-bent on destroying itself, taking everything with it. Every where I turn not only do I see this evil, but I hear it as well. They all curse his name in vain, worshipping only themselves. Have we all truly been this self-centered that this is where we will spend Eternity? Sadly, I fear the answer is yes.

  I have begun to search for answers, unbeknownst to them of whom I now serve. I will not allow myself to pass up another opportunity I vow. If only I could find a way to escape this Hell. I want to know the Truth again; this is no longer the life I want to lead. The only problem is that I don’t really know what it is I am looking for.

  As I continue searching my own prison, I hear a soft rap at the door. Could it be my masters have come to collect me? Nervously I approach the strangers on my doorstep. As I answer, I notice that it is not my masters, but a woman and with her, a child. Her child I presume. How I envy his youth, remembering my own time of innocence. Oh, I long to relive those days. There is something different, yet familiar, about these strangers. They are not of this world; not from the one that I currently reside. I realize that they belong to those on the other side; the ones who urged me not to take this path. As she begins to speak, a calming in the air overwhelms me, leaving me feel at peace. I also notice something strange, as the inner demons, my new guardians, seem to be fading into the darkness leaving me be for the first time since this ordeal began.

  Our conversation was short, but kept to the point as the stranger reminds me of my true master. “I leave you with this,” she says calmly. “The righteous themselves will posses the earth, and they will reside upon forever upon it.” With that she and the boy, her son, left to return from whence they came. ‘Wait! Take me with you!’ I want to cry. I know they it was impossible for them to do so, as the chains that hold me can only be broken by the maker; me and me alone. As I return to my cell I hear a voice calling out to me. “The answers you seek, you already possess,” whispers the voice. “Just turn the pages.” Turn the pages? Turn the pages…it just hit me. I begin a frantic search for that which contains what I’ve been looking for this entire time.

  I have finally recovered it from the dark, decrepit hole that it has been resting in. Here it is in my hands, looking glorious in its blue bound cover. As I open the book, the words, in all their blackness seem to glow from the pages. While continuing to turn the pages I come upon the red lettering of the Truth as spoken by my true master. These words literally jump off the pages, illuminating my prison. I look around seeing that my guards have all but disappeared. Sitting here reading various passages while flipping through the sixty-six, I am noticing a pattern. Everything that I have read thus far deals with everything that I have been experiencing over the past few weeks. The questions that I had have, for the most part, been answered. I realize that the mistake that I made has a meaning. I know why I did what I did, and what I must do to correct this wrong. There is still hope for me yet!

  I awaken this morning not on a bed of shame, but rather on a bed of comfort. It is much softer than my previous bed, allowing me to finally get a full restful night of sleep. I have found solace in the words that make up what is the greatest love letter ever given to man, and feel different already. I notice that the shackles that bound my wrists, greed and selfishness, have been removed. My guards, the inner demons still linger, but are keeping their distance for now.

  Venturing forth from my cell I am beginning to view the world around me in a different light. The violence and hatred still exist, but I find it easier to ignore such evils. I am also noticing more of the godly treading these hollow grounds than I had in the past. I find that in order to walk with those that bear the light, I must seek out the greatest teacher of them all: Wisdom. Surely Wisdom will help guide me towards those on the other side that were beckoning me on that fateful day.

  It has been weeks since I was blessed with the visit from the angel at my doorstep. In that time I’ve been growing in my faith that all will be better in days to come. I have kept up with the weekly meetings with my new owner, but with the inner demons accompanying me I just cannot bring my self to tell him that I can no longer do this. The shackles around my ankles, lies and deceit, have been loosened since my transformation, but yet they remain. As for the noose, that is pride, it seems to get tighter as I talk with my new owner. If I am to escape this darkness I need to break the curse that pride has put hexed around my neck. God, grant me the strength to do so.

  After many failed attempts to come clean to my new master, I feel I can no longer bear this burden. I need to let go of my pride; I must if I am to survive. This is it. Today is the day of reckoning. It is do, and rejoin the righteous, or do not, and dwell in this kingdom of shadows until the end of time. There is no turning back now. My voice will be heard today. God grant me the strength to do so. Look over me and cast the inner demons aside. Give me the courage to slip from this noose and unshackle my being so that I may stand my ground firmly on my own two feet. I will not back down, nor will I be deterred. I can do this; I have to. This is my life. And to you, King Jesus, I give it freely. Amen.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new."
~2 Corinthians 5:17