The man in red that ran in red!

I honestly just do not understand people anymore.
Someone lets just say, with a dim light, was prowling around my house the other night.
When confronted he gave me a long and drawn out story about practice makes perfect.
After listening to his ramblings for a while I had enough and my blood was boiling!
Mad would be an understatement!
I invited him to leave and never come back in my special way but to my surprise he said he would return as was his right on Christmas Eve whenever children resided inside the home.
A damned pervert for sure!
As I chased him down the road, good thing for him that i am crippled, I soon gave out of breath!
Piece of crap had gotten away!
Oh well he had promised to return and I would be ready this time I tell you!
Christmas night is now upon us and all I have to do is wait.
Cameoed and locked and loaded.
A bottle of Jack by my side.
I dare this scum to try to break in to my home!
Soon enough I hear a sound, a frighting sound!
Jingling and clanking, good thing I had taken my meds, else I would overreact.
Patiently, I awaited my chance as the pervert broke into house after house.......
Suddenly I see a herd of snorting deer driven by the fat old perv.
Deer season too, I open fire dispatching the fat old fart first , then the meat on the hoof.
What a great night, not only did I save countless children from certain nightmares for the rest of they're lives, but I also had enough meat to fill three  freezers.
Oh what a glorious night until I got knock at my door later that very night.....
Seems that I had mistook Santa for a fat old perv!