Apprehension

My palms are sweaty
I'm coming to see you; perhaps for the last time

I'm not ready
at least, that is what my mind calculates

My heart speaks of positive moments to come;
visualizations of a happy reunion

My eyes long to find yours
My hands stretch out to grasp your fingers

My legs bend at the knees aiming each step
in direction of your bold silhouette

I imagine everything around me
slowly closing into darkness

The only light I see is in your face
I squint to see if you are the same as before

I wonder if you will have the same gleam;
the one that sent chills up my spine

The look from you to me;
that made me feel special

Will you dare to join me in my dream;
or can we call it "ours"?

These are the things I worry about;
enough to drive anyone to madness

I tell myself that 'I cannot go through with this';
this roller coaster of not knowing

Feelings, emotions, memories and time;
rule my every waking moment

I contemplate, meditate and sit in expectation
of what seeing you again will mean for my life

For from the day that I begin this voyage
Until I see you..

My life will change for the better or worse;
either we will see each other, or we won't

I cannot turn back or undo what has
happened or what will happen

Therefore, the time has come;
will my "apprehension" be converted to "comprehension"?