6 super shorts by EZF

God and Fred English

By Eric Z Fox



Narrator: (Note) Ten minutes ago Fred English died. He had a massive coronary breach but no, don’t fret too badly he was sleeping deeply. Yet when Saint John opened the massive ethereal gates of heaven to him, he knew it was real. So he did exactly as he had always planed if he made it to eternity. He walked up to God’s secretary (a rather large and snooty Gregorian Angel) and made an appointment to speak with God. And that’s where this tale begins.



Fred: Thanks so much for seeing me God. I mean my G… gosh only ten minute waits.



God: Why yes Fred it is heaven. You didn’t expect a wait like at Space Mountain did you? Anyhow Fred how may I help you? I figured you’d be out exploring the endless expanse of eternity.



Fred: Well yes I’ll get to that after all I do have eternity. Anyways God…. Well should I call you that I mean you know do you prefer Jesus or Jehovah or I don’t know maybe Allah or Buddha?



God: Whatever you feel comfortable with son.



Fred: Um, yes of course. Anyways I was wondering why I was Brought into the gates. I mean I was a good guy I guess. Well at least most often I tried but I definitely am not a saint.



God: Yea Fred you defiantly are not a saint but saintliness is not the only way to ensure a heavenly destination. A good atheist whom never once in his life had faith in me is just as eligible as you Fred. Who not only believed in me but hollered at me insistently. [Fred burns with embarrassment.]

         But really it’s what causes a man to go to hell. Let me tell you the story of Quinn Danker. Quinn was a killer a very brutal killer that enjoyed only two things. Killing, people just any person that happened to cross his path. Also Quinn loved the Yo-yo. Unfortunately Quinn was not the brightest light in the chandelier and the Houston Police Department caught Quinn and Quinn was sentenced to die.

         Quinn knowing his demise was coming accepted Jesus into his heart. By Christian definition, your Christian right Fred, Quinn is forgiven and should enter those gates you just entered. But NO Quinn is in hell. When he got there he thought he was in paradise because the most beautiful jewel incrusted Yo-yo was the first thing he saw. But no matter how hard and how skilled Quinn was with the toy he could not get it to recede.

Does that help?



Fred: Um…Kind of but I have another quick question…Which religion is right?



Narrator: Smiling God answered.



God: None of them goodness is the way to my court.



Narrator: After that Fred thanked God and left his office where he ran into Saint Michael the Archangel.



Mike: Fred how ya doing, whatcha think of the big guy?



Fred: Well really Mysterious and kind of windy but all that I expected.













































































The Darkness

By Eric Z Fox



         The poor farmer didn’t know what to think. The light that had streaked across the sky and landed with a sonic boom was an alien red. It was about 2 1/2 acres away and at about an acre away he could see the blackened crater that killed hundreds of his pumpkins. The center pulsed but it didn’t seem to give off light it was more like it pulled in the light from all around it.

         At about 6 yards from the thing he could see some shape emerging from that odd center and for some impossible reason he thought it was his first wife Sasha. But it couldn’t be her; she’s been dead for at least 20 years.

“Earl, “she said. And yes it was her soft voice. Yet how can this be she died years ago in ’03 from the West Nile.

“You @#$% you let me die. If you had a real job maybe, some money I would have…”

“No,” he cut her off. Tears welling in his eyes, “it can’t be you! You died in my arms while I cried…I mean a mosquito a lil bug…. So I know.”

         Like whist of smoke she melted away and there was a thing in her place. It was black with pseudo-plasmic tentacles that writhed and wiggled and were appearing and disappearing all around its body. Mouths, beaks, and other devouring things of a much more primitive nature materialized on to its body and vanished as quickly. Earl felt the thing pull at his body and mind with some strange gravity and decided he had enough and pulled up his rifle.

         “You want it you got it,” he said as he fired off two shots. It sank in to the thing effortlessly and still the thing advanced still it pulled at his psyche. Than with more than a little pain it spoke in Earl’s mind. The oily and corrupt voice was undeniable and even if Earl wanted to shut it off he couldn’t.

“Earl, you are just the first.” Than with bones breaking and blood vessels popping. Earl was pulled into the monstrous thing that now was a giant eye. It turned its hideous self towards the nearest town, the peaceful town of Avondale, Colorado.





New York Times



The Governor of Colorado has just asked for emergency funds to handle the as yet unidentified quarantine of Pueblo Colorado and all surrounding areas. When asked to comment on the situation the Director of homeland security had no comment at 3PM yesterday. In…..

































You

By Eric Z Fox



         You awoke feeling kind of groggy even for a Monday morning. Last night one of your neighbors’ dogs was rummaging through your trash and it kept you awake. The uneventful subway ride to work only made things worse. And of all things here comes the trickster Dan from the computer department.

“Hey,” he says with just an awful giggle spreading across the lines of his face. “Guess what?” He asks not even waiting for you to reply to his hey. “Friday night I went out with Mike… you know from accounting?” And yes you did know that shy guy.

“Well we went out to this little karaoke bar and I got him all smashed so he’d sing. But I couldn’t get him to sing… Oh and check this out.. He started to tell me about the first person he ever killed. He said it was a little 12 year old down the block from where his parents had lived. That when he was 18 he couldn’t resist her for any longer and he killed her ate her heart then dumped her in some farmers’ septic tank.”

         “After that he normally killed at least two people a year for his special hunger. One man and one woman sometimes though he’d kill once a month, it just depended upon his mood. Then he described how different it was to gut men and women. How the females would just slice like butter but the men always tried to fight before they died. But, he said they always cry before the end. So you know I thought he was just imaginative, talking shit you know.”



         “Later when I took his drunken butt home, I had to take him inside his house and then all the way to his bed. And I started to smell it. And unbelievably I went and looked and... and… it was awful. Six dried, bleached white skulls sitting in his large closet. All around meat was drying in man size strips probably for jerky.” And that’s when you begin to think about the dogs…did you hear them Friday night? And growing more frightened you do not think so.

         “On the dresser there was a bunch of tongues,” Dan continued. “And the freakiest of all Mike’s memorabilia was the wigs. Or scalps I guess they were called a hundred years ago. Well anyways he had all kinds of pictures up on the closet door. I wouldn’t have even looked back there, but one of them fell so I looked and they were all pictures of … Of you!”



The End









































I Met Him Once

By Eric Z Fox



It was a long time ago that I met him. Yet still to this day his memory haunts me. It was when I was twelve and still very naive. He was tall and dressed all in black…but I’m getting ahead of myself I’ll start at the beginning.

It was a summer afternoon and school was still over a month away. To me the world was mine and only time could get in the way. My mother had told me to stay away from the Bessemer Ditch but as I think I’ve already mentioned I was quite naïve. So on down there I went carrying nothing because I wasn’t even there to do something as noble as fishing. I was just there to do exactly the opposite of what my mom told me.

The brush around the small ditch was choking. The weeds grew to desolation as the stink trees did more than their names said. So down to that God-awful place I went. Clearly I can still remember that a sharp sapling cut my leg and perhaps the few drops of blood on my leg is what attracted him to me. Whatever it was, it was he.

So around the time my mom would have been wondering where I was. Was when he must have appeared, because up both embankments I could see. But I never saw nor heard him until he was in reaching distance of me. I looked up into his black eyes and saw age an age his handsome face did not carry. His perfectly tailored black suit was in perfect condition and when I looked at his shoes I knew something was wrong.

From walking in the ditch you’d think his patent leather shoes would be scuffed or at least dusty but they were buffed to a perfect shine reflecting the afternoon sun. Somehow I knew and I babbled a little,”my…my…mom.”

“Yes boy,” the man said in a truly malevolent voice, “but you disobeyed her didn’t you and came down here anyways... Didn’t you?”

Again I babbled, “w…what?” “Come now boy surly you realize that she already worries about you. And look at you here just sitting wishing you had no rules.” He paused and looked at me thoughtfully before he continued. “Yes maybe I should just gobble you up here and save your mom the trouble than in my land there are no rules for you to break. What do you say boy should I eat your soul and take you home?”

Insanely his jaws opened to a cavern of carnivorous teeth that even a shark would find menacing. I was so scared that I stood up and started to run but with lightning reflexes he grabbed me and held me with an iron grip.

“No boy you cannot leave my clutches quit so easily maybe if you would have done as you were supposed to I couldn’t have came here but alas I am here and my appetite must be quenched.” Out of fear I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see those teeth again then my mind picked up the only thing that it could grasp so I said what came to mind, “Our father who art in heaven…” by the time I said daily bread I heard a loud pop and I knew he was gone but still I finished the prayer. When I opened my eyes he was gone but the five bruises on my arm reminded me of how I met him.

By Eric Z Fox





















Could It Get Worse?



         It began with the President’s daughter Doris. He began his war on drugs like his predecessor George Bush Jr. The congress of the United States gave both men (at different times) too much power do to extreme tragedies. George Jr. started a war that swept through the Middle East until the American people themselves stopped him and his attempted tyranny. As I’m sure, all the readers of this tale know.

         But Thomas Sprague the great Democrat hope saved this country may haps the world from something awful. In the year 2005, President Sprague ended the war that was almost the third world war. He got not only the American economy jump-started but also the economies of most of the world. He was a man adored by billions even the upstart French couldn’t find anything bad about him. For three years, he helped the world grow and trade was rising at a phenomenal rate. In the year of 2007, he composed and first signed the World Governments for Peace proclamation (WGP). It guaranteed trade, tax breaks, protection, and boarder freedoms for all nations whom ratified the document and practiced ANY democratic government.

         At first Mexico and Russia were the first two countries to sign and gave them the first Chairman seat on the league it created. That chairperson was Vincentia Fox. He did not only a glorious job for his league that was called simply the United Earth Organization (UEO). The UEO oversaw trade and immigration and had an immense amount of power that Fox never broke or abused in any fashion. They had autonyms control over the new World Dollar called a Byte because it is primarily as an electronic dollar that is the most powerful form of currency on the planet.

         So now, we get to the tuff part the death of Doris Sprague. She was a lovely girl extremely thin and shapely with big dark eyes. Her mother being Hispanic passed on an olive color to Doris that always reminded Thomas of his widow. Vanessa was Thomas’ first and only love for twelve years they were married and she was there for him in the most tiring times of law school. Than as his carrier was taking off they were blest with Doris. Unfortunately, both his wife and daughter died but Dr Duran brought Doris back he saved her and Thomas never forgot him for it.

         His lovely and wonderful wife was gone but she was still with him because he had their beautiful daughter. It was on her first birthday in 1991 when he had decided to go into politics. He knew he would be able to give her everything but still he wanted to do more and politics was the way he decided to do it. So first, he got put on his local library board than ran for mayor. After that, his carrier took off when a woman named Lorraine Michaels the local president of the Democratic Party asked him to run for the state senator’s seat.

         On September 11, 2001, he was driving his daughter to work when the unthinkable happened he decided that he would not go to his office, his daughter would not go to school, and they went to their local blood center and gave to the Red Cross. The next day he and some friends drove down and took part in the rescue and clean up operations.  This helped his national appeal with epic proportions.

         It happened at the beginning of 2004 and the American people were shocked. George Bush captured ousted dictator Sadam Hussein and executed him impromptu live on world television. Appall from the world community was swift and deserving. The German, Russian UN and American CIA operatives took President Bush and other members of his staff to Switzerland and tried them in accordance with the Geneva Convention.

Now President Dick Chaney wanted to go into major combat and retrieve the ousted leader and his band but Senator Sprague and the American people stood up to Chaney and eventually ousted the would be Dictator.

But listen to me I have gotten off subject once again I was going to tell you about Doris. She was lovely and just like her mother sweet and thoughtful and was planning on going to Julliard to begin a fine acting carrier. Dreadfully though that would never happen because even though Dr Duran had saved her life 17 years ago it would end on June 7 2009. It was at a graduation party for her friend Gwendolyn. A boy named Francis Crispin had spiked Doris’ drink with an ecstasy pill well actually about seven. Her Mountain Dew caused her to convulse than in a delirium of pain and confusion she died screaming for her mother.

The President was destroyed and the boy was tried as an adult and though he was convicted, he never reached sentencing for he was killed in prison suspiciously. This however did not satisfy the distraught father he began a congressionally sanctioned war on drugs. The American Congress, the UEO, and the UN gave President Sprague unimaginable powers of prosecution, expulsion, deportation and military force.

Did they know? I don’t know but I think Fox suspected but the empathy he felt towards his friend Thomas override his judgment.





The end?















A Stiffy

By Eric Z Fox





Thump, thump. The man listened keenly to the heart beat. But, it was what gave him the most pleasure, well one of the things anyway. Weakly he heard it again, thump. Smiling to himself he opened his special black bag. Taking out his instruments of true love he began his bloody job.

First he made the ‘y’ incision on her torso. Halfway through, he realized he had an erection, like always he felt so euphoric. Oh, the life, the power over all of his lovers, including his first his dear old momma, and it was her face that he always saw at this point.

“Aw,” he said to himself as he changed his surgical gloves and took a little taste over her blood with his pinky finger. Now his real fun begins. There is an awful ripping as he pulls her ribs apart easily, thanks to practice. With a slight increase in temperature his crotch began to beat with such intensity that it felt like a second heart in his pants.

Gently he reached her heart, and while caressing the muscle he thought of how much he was enjoying himself. As it lay there beating he squeezed the life from it at least thirty seconds longer than necessary. He then sighed before going down for the dirty.

Excitedly, he found it. He took the jelloy orb out and examined it minutely. “Yea,” he whispered softly to himself. Gently, he placed the ovary on to his tongue and chewed. At the same time he ejaculated. With an amazing swiftness he got his aluminum foil. “Freezer fillers,” he thinks to himself.

The end

By Eric Z Fox