The End of the Graveyard Shift

Pauly stretched and yawned before clocking out from the graveyard shift. He trudged to the break room and poured a cup of coffee, just one, mind you. He didn't want to be awake all day. After inhaling the nutty fragrance, he slouched into a chair and propped his feet up on a wayward box. He was just about to take the first sip of his java when he heard a deep chuckle coming from down the hallway.

"It's the boss." Pauly straightened up in his seat, smoothing his hair back out of his eyes.

"How's it going, Pauly? How was your night?" The older man grinned down at his employee.

"Well, you know, it's not easy building a computer, Santa." Pauly ducked his head sheepishly.

"Oh, I know, I know. That's why we had to go to double shifts." Santa shook his head. "If we don't have everything ready by Christmas Eve, some of the children won't receive a thing. We just can't have that!"

Pauly noticed Santa's face turning red, well, redder than normal.

"We'll get there. Don't get yourself all worked up."

Santa sputtered great racking coughs.

"If you don't give up that pipe, Santa, I'm afraid it's going to be the last nail in your coffin."

Santa nodded. "You're right, but whenever I quit smoking, I always gain weight."

Pauly nodded and thought for a moment.

"Hey, maybe you need an exercise program. The kids love you chubby but that's gonna kill you, too! My wife really likes Zumba."

"Zumba? Is that some kind of wild animal?"

"No, Santa, it's a type of aerobics. It'd be good for those lungs."

"Nah, I think I'll just scare up some Ho Hos, instead."

"It's your funeral." Pauly tipped his hat to Mr. Claus and headed home.