Doctor Harsh and the mysterious Churchya

Doctor Harsh and the mysterious Churchyard

         A beautiful morning with bright sunshine just like any other morning in doctor Harsh’s dining room. I often had my breakfast at Harsh’s place. It wasn’t because he is a good conversational partner or because I admired him for his work to hunt aliens and flying saucer sightings. The breakfast is always free and plentiful.

         Everything seemed perfect until detective Valdo showed up. Valdo would only come to Harsh’s home when he needed immediate help with one of his cases. Otherwise they would occasionally meet up in town.

         “A bit late for breakfast, but you may still join us if you like, exclaimed Harsh. “I got fine cut orange marmalade of the best sort today.”

         “Everyone knows you got the worst taste when it comes to sugary stuff.” said Valdo after he barely even cracked the door open.

         “My assistant appears to know better.”

         Suddenly I panicked. I could only hope my face expression looked begging enough for Valdo to have pity and not reveal the true reason I was munching through that bitter tasting marmalade on cheap buttered toast.

         “Well come in, don’t sit in the door!”

         Valdo entered the house upon Harsh’s request and behind him there was a well clothed young man, too well clothed for a detective of Valdo’s caliber. Was thinking the guy might be either insane or likes to throw money out the window.

         I couldn’t withhold a defying grin pointed at Valdo. He replied with a frown and I turned serious. I had to make sure he stays silent about my secret.

         Doctor Harsh noticed Valdo’s reaction and turned around to his assistant:

         “You might not believe it but detective Valdo is the most successful private detective there is.”

         “You must be Doctor Maximilien Harsh! The most well known paranormal detective there is!” The rich looking guy took down his hat and made a slight bow to greet. “Sir Valdo praised you a lot.”

         “I am no detective, I’m a hunter. And who might you be if I may ask?”

         “Oh, I’m sorry! Where are my manners?”

         “Allow me, interfered Valdo. “This is none other than his Grace, the earl of Wessex himself, Sir Arthur I.A. Wells.”

         Silently Valdo and the earl were waiting for a reaction of amazement from Harsh.

         “So?”

         Valdo nervously begun to stutter, worried his customer might be offended.

         “His Grace is a strong believer in God and a very faithful person. Someone is playing pranks on the church he is visiting and so much endorses. During the night someone sneaks in to dig up holes in the churchyard’s garden.”

         “Vandals are to be taken care of by the police. It’s none of my business.”

         “There’s more to it. Carved pumpkins grow where the grave-shaped holes are dug. It is claimed that they glow during the night.”

         “It’s the 25th of October. One week until Halloween, perhaps the vandal you’re looking for has in mind pranks that are well suited for the season?”

         “But how do you explain the bioluminescence of the pumpkins during the night?”

         “I don’t care to go into detail and study the biology or mechanism behind it, that’s not my job. Sit down, have a cup of tea, enjoy breakfast with us if you like, but don’t expect to get any of my help.”

         The earl intervened:

         “Sir please reconsider your decision. There are evil spirits roaming the churchyard of St Pantaleon during the night. Considering you’re a paranormal detec … paranormal hunter, you might be more successful with solving this strange case.”

         “Do you mean ghosts? If so, then you got my full attention.”

         “Within the night ghosts emerge and dig their own graves. They try to find their rest in the ground or God knows what else they might try to find that makes them dig. Every night a new ghost appears and digs his own grave. It is buried in the morning by the cloister novices.

         “But the day after the grave is covered a strange pumpkin grows out of the freshly dug ground, although nobody planted anything there. Not yet.”

         “You mean the pumpkins grow over night?”

         “Not only that, but they are hollow pumpkins that grow with a carved face on them, portraying an evil grin. They are white inside, instead of the usual mild orange color. I believe that whiteness is what makes them glow.

         “Both the small gate for people and the large gate for cars are closed in the evening, so nobody can enter the church. Also the walls are probably about 3 meters high. So even if someone would use a ladder to get in, there would be hardly a way out. Besides nobody noticed anyone around the walls nor the gates during the night.”

         “Has there been any UFO activity during the night?”

         “None at all. Clearly there is no alien involvement.”

         “We’ll draw the conclusions later, said Harsh in a dry voice. He then turned to his assistant. “Do you remember that news article you were very fussed about in August?”

         “The one where a bishop was caught burying a child’s body he molested? They have soon found someone else to take his place.”

         “Yes. Could you look it up for me? You know where the newspapers are stock piled. I would like to read the article myself.”

         “Of course! No boy’s ghost has been spotted yet!” The earl was amazed, but Harsh gave him a confused look.

         “Are the ghosts looking like any of the recently deceased people?”

         “Ah … Absolutely none at all.” The earl replied lowering his voice.

         The assistant took his laptop out of his bag and found the article within minutes.

         “Here it is.”

         Harsh was a bit irritated, since he preferred the newspaper, but he didn’t have time to be picky with a client in wait.

         He took a quick look, reading few lines and then he decided:

         “Alright let’s hurry up to see what’s going on.”







         As the car door closes, the first drops fall. The endless dark clouds calmly move about the sky. A low thunder pierced through the wind’s fury, surprisingly erupting same as greys mysteriously abduct. They come after you Valdo, do they not? I throw him a cold stare while he looks out the window. Wherever you go the clouds follow!

         You miserable rat, just look at you! You attract the weirdest cases upon yourself. He turns to me and I pretend I’m cheerful while nodding my head with a smile.

         Greys are probably responsible for the ghostly sightings. They usually are the main culprits behind any poltergeist activity, playing pranks on little kids. But not on my watch! Not as long as I, doctor Harsh, am around!

         As they arrive at the cloister, the gates were wide open and nobody was expecting them. Valdo led Harsh and his assistant to the odd grave area in the garden. Luckily the rain had stopped, because it seemed the novices had lots of work to do.

         A large garden, reaching the far end of the wall all around the cloister, was tended by about ten novices. The bishop was also there giving them orders and pointing directions. Amongst the men only one poorly dressed woman could be seen. She was clearly not part of the church. Her rags had the color almost washed out.

         Valdo went straight over to the bishop.

         “This is …”

         Harsh lift his hands signaling to Valdo to let him do the talking.

         “I came to investigate the strange activity taking place within the church.”

         “There’s nothing strange about it. It’s all a bunch of evil spirits. But I will exorcize them back to the hells they came from.”

         “So do these evil spirits make plants, the pumpkins grow?”

         “Maybe I worded it wrong. Not all of them are evil. Some seek to find their peace but need divine guidance for that. There’ll be a nightly ceremony in about two week’s time, to guide the spirits of those restless ones that roam the church grounds at night. Many believers will join the festivity to help their passed away relatives are guided to their rest. Perhaps you could join too; you don’t need any passed away relative to attend.”

         “Have you seen these evil spirits?”

         “Everyone has seen them during the night digging holes.”

         “I thought bishops would let their underlings guard the church at night, while they have a peaceful slumber in their cosy bed.”

         The bishop was slightly over a meter, maybe 140 centimeters. But his temper was indirectly proportional with his height. His face turned red in fury.

         “A true man of God knows no rest when confronting evil!” he blurted.

         “Right. Where’s your cross? Do bishops not carry any?”

         He opened his mouth and was nearly about to groan something, but he thought better of it and calmed down right away.

         “You’re right. I forgot it in my room. I shall go and get it right away. You may further discuss the evil doing with the novices, if you so wish.”

         For an old man he was very agile walking away. Harsh had his ways of getting rid of the people that might interfere with his interrogations. The novices at least would talk more without the bishop sitting on their back.

         The investigators approached one of the busy looking novices. He was nervously moving his eyes between them and the earth he was shoveling into last night’s grave.

         “Please sooth yourself. We didn’t come here to scare you.”

         “There happened too many strange things for me to not be scared. The ghostly noises in the night are anything but relaxing.”

         “Ghost noises?” asked Harsh.

         “They come from these strange looking pumpkins.”

         “Why don’t you weed them out?”

         “Everyone’s worried the ghosts who dug the graves will come back and this time take revenge on us for disturbing their peace.”

         “Who gave you this idea? Isn’t the holy spirit supposed to protect you?”

         “It’s dangerous to toy around with evil. Ask the bishop for more information if you don’t believe. He might be able to explain it better.”

         Harsh immediately walked away towards another novice.

         “What’s the matter?” asked Valdo completely surprised, following Harsh straight away towards someone tending the garden very close to the wall.”

         “Hello! My name’s Gruber.” This novice was clearly a better pick to interrogate.

         “Hi. I am private investigator Maximilien Harsh and there are few questions I would like to ask you.”

         “Of course! I’ll do anything I can to help the ghosts find their peace.”

         “Hey where are you going? Pay attention to the investigation.” Valdo threw these unnecessary words to the assistant who was walking towards the wall. He noticed a strange withered patch of grass under the vines of grapes. In fact the vines about the patch were withered too.

         “Fuck off, it’s my assistant, intervened Harsh. “Sorry Gruber, but this guy needs to know his place.”

         “Don’t worry about it, replied Gruber with a smile. “I want to point out that I strongly disbelieve vandals might have entered the place. We novices take too much care of protecting these grounds for that to happen. Why and how would vandals plant these strange pumpkins?”

         “Indeed. Have you done some research of your own on the case or do you know something you might want to tell me?”

         “Sure I have tried to solve this mystery by myself! No one should be allowed to mock God’s church in such a horrible way.”

         “Why are you so certain vandals couldn’t have gotten inside?”

         “The churchyard gate is tightly sealed. No one could possibly enter it after we lock it and nobody could lock pick it after locking it the way we lock it.”

         Everyone was exchanging looks with anyone else.

         “Alright, let me prove it to you. Come I’ll show you how tight the seal is.”

         When they returned to the front gate they noticed strange metal bars that looked like double anchors propped on the wall near the gates. The ends looked like ram horns.

         “Here’s the trick. Not only do we have a lock and a chain to close the gate, but we also use these so called ram anchors. We need only the two of them, one for each gate. One end of the ram anchor goes into the gate’s bars and the other into this metal holding in the ground, which has this small lever that blocks the ram from being taken off from the outside.”

         “Why would you go through all the trouble to block the gate?”

         “We added this shortly after the ghosts appeared.”

         “When exactly did the ghosts first started to show up?”

         “About one month ago.”

         “Alright. Thank you very much for your help. I really appreciate it. Could we stay within the churchyard during the night to check exactly what’s going on?”

         “Sure. I need to let the bishop know first, but I’m sure he’ll agree.”







         From within the soft blanket of stars, the moon pours down its cascade of brilliance down upon the grim figures looking over the city for hundreds of years. Their wings, their angry impish faces glimmeringly gleam with glitter, reflecting the light of their revival from their deep slumber. Yet the taciturnity of the night doesn’t end, keeping the gargoyles’ bodies uncommunicative with this world.

         Below lay only the pumpkins shimmering in a pool of dark vines and veggies. The novices guarding the place lay hidden as we do. Whoever you are, we are ready for you and our glaring eyes are adjusted to catch any movement you betray.

         An owl howled. The wind changed direction. And there it was at the top of the church! A glowing apparition of a woman crucified on the large cross on the peak of the high dome, her skirt waving against the wind.

         “Odd. Is it not?” remarked Harsh just as he reached into his pocket for his photo camera and took a snapshot.

         The assistant lost his breath, opened his mouth and still couldn’t take in air. Such a weird phenomenon was a once in a lifetime chance encounter.

         In a high, gentle womanly voice it started echoing a song throughout the yard, like a true opera artist. Gently it floated away from the cross with its arms still stretched out for one or two meters and abruptly ceased levitating. It plunged down through the empty air and in few seconds its weight was smashed into the ground.

         The high fall made it break its neck, legs and arms, but it still could stand up on its mutilated limbs and it started performing one of the most bizarre cripple walks towards the large gate intended for vehicles.

         She grabbed the bars with her hands and with an intense growl resounding throughout the yard she started shaking the gate. The ram anchor got out of its grip and fell down releasing the gates widely open.

         “Come, we have to follow.”

         Barely getting a hold of himself, the assistant shakingly made stiff steps staying right behind Harsh.

         As if it wasn’t hard to keep up with her speed, the woman disappeared after three hundred meters. Still in awe, with eyes wide open and out of breath, Harsh and his assistant slowed down.

         “What happened?” The assistant shook his head in bewilderment.

         “It probably was a hologram. Let’s head back and hope we find any new clues.”

         Detective Valdo was lying in wait at the gate, keeping it closed.

         “Why is Valdo here all of a sudden?” asked the assistant.

         “I asked him to watch over the gate should we have to go inside a building or leave the yard. For that he rented a room in the hotel over there. It had to be a safe and unspotable distance. Any camera or such left on the scene why we follow a suspect could be tampered with when left behind or the culprit might not even show up if spying is noticed. The woman was a distraction.”

         “So there might be a new grave in the yard …” muttered the assistant.

         “Valdo call the police and ask them to have a car stationed at the gate.”

         “But why would they listen to me?”

         “Use my name. They owe me few favors. Tell them the culprit has to be still inside. In fact he probably always was.”

Indeed there was a new grave freshly dug during the short time they had run after the woman’s ghost.

         A muscular figure was inspecting it. In the blink of an eye the assistant jumped behind the stranger and through few grips and twists he had him immobilized on the ground and yelling, long before he could even notice what got him.

         “Hey! It’s alright. It’s me, Gruber! I came here when I saw a strange light while patrolling in the buildings.” He was allowed to stand up.

         “Sorry to interfere with your investigation, but I’m the only novice awake so I had to take care of whatever is going on. The rest went to bed thinking you two will be enough to keep an eye on the outside. They are all very tired. We all get little sleep since the ghosts started showing up. When I saw the strange luminescent figure I had to come and check what’s going on.”

         “What exactly is it that you saw?”

         “A sparkling pirate captain. If I had to guess who it was I would say it has to be the legendary black beard himself. It’s as if he was searching for his treasure. Digging at an inhuman speed and suddenly vanished when I got closer to him. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The shovel left in mid air falling on the grounds.”

         “Well then let’s have a look at the shovel.”

         They found it few meters away from the grave and the handle was smeared with some sort of slime.

         “He was running towards the wall, remarked the assistant. “What’s even stranger is the fact that these type walls would interfere electrostatically with a hologram. It wouldn’t look like the ghost escaped through the wall but instead blur out.”

         “This one wasn’t a farce. A hologram can’t control material objects. Which raises the question of how credible your claim really is, Mr. Gruber.”

         Harsh took out a glove and a flashlight out of his pocket to check the shovel.

         “I just can’t sit back and watch the spirits desecrate this holy place and I find it hard to believe that it’s divine intervention that brings them here to receive guidance towards eternal rest, no matter how much the bishop insists upon it. So I decided to always keep an eye open on this yard.”

         “Most bizarre! The shovel has some sort of thin layer of slime on it.

         “To have dug the grave this quickly and have it nearly finished, this ‘ghost’ must have had incredible strength.”

         “I can assure you it wasn’t me. Poltergeists have inhuman strength. The slime might be his ectoplasm which formed when it interacted with this world.”

         “What the doctor meant, is as you said something with inhuman strength, which means it couldn’t have been you, no matter how used to shoveling the ground you are. That ectoplasm theory sounds very plausible to me. How we will stop real ghosts?”

         “With prayer of course. We must be very careful when dealing with spirits. Sometimes it’s the work of strong and fearsome demons disguised as ghosts that have their ways even in holy places.”

         “Sounds to me like you praise and admire the demons for their power.” Harsh barged in with evident sarcasm.

         “I AM NOT!” retorted Gruber and then walked away angry.

         The assistant looked in utter bewilderment at Harsh for insulting the guy.

         “Look at the guy, if he wouldn’t give into fear of wondrous fantasies his dogma teaches, he would’ve solved the case by himself. Then again if he wouldn’t have surrendered to his dogma, he wouldn’t be wasting his youth here. I had to make place so we can investigate the scene undisturbed.”

         “We still didn’t see any kind of seeds reach into the grave to make carved pumpkins that grow out of this graveyard.”

         “This new hole is dug indeed as if to fit a coffin in it, but that’s just a bait to lead us in the wrong direction.” replied Harsh.

         “But we still don’t know of anything else aside from the ghostly presences.”

         Harsh laughed.

         “You saw that woman yourself. Her image was unmistakably real.”

         “My dear assistant, have you seen ghost movies?”

         “Yes.”

         “No matter how advanced the graphics and special effects, it doesn’t make the ghosts real. We have to deal with some high skilled programmer and graphic engineer. That ghost woman hologram was scripted. Gruber went close enough to see the pirate ghost’s face. It must have been some sort of holographic costume.”

         They decided to keep an eye on the false graves covered with pumpkins. A bit later Harsh calls Valdo to stay with the assistant. The gates wouldn’t matter right now, with two policemen standing guard.

         “The policemen most likely won’t see anything happening.” said Harsh.

         “Why not?” asked the assistant.

         “I’ll go home to get some sleep.” continued Harsh.

         Nothing happened until morning when the novices came to cover the grave.

         That poor woman that was tending the garden the day before had come too. But there was no way she would be sleeping within the church grounds during the night. The church’s rules wouldn’t allow that.

         The assistant tried to approach her, hoping he would find out more clues.

         “Hello there my beautiful lady, I’m part of the investigation team. May I ask you few questions?” The woman was fairly young and not bad looking.

         “Such a charmer! Listen up kid. I’m only here because I desperately need the money, not for someone’s pleasure. That means neither for yours. Now get lost before I report you to the bishop. Glad he gave me this job and I won’t let anyone ruin it for me.”

         The assistant took quick steps away from the woman, back to Valdo. Hopefully he would protect him in case an argument would occur.

         They wait longer while sitting on the grass and then suddenly Valdo speaks up.

         “It’s time to make a move and act quickly or it will be too late for us! I shall order some pizza before we starve here. You want so too I guess.”

         “I wonder where Harsh might be. He is usually up early.”

         “I think you don’t know Harsh well yet. He never sleeps on the job.”

         “He said it himself. He went home to get some sleep!”

         “Yeah. He must be slipping very deeply through this case. Why don’t you go to the gate? The pizza will shortly arrive.”

         “Well …” The assistant wanted to say no, but before he opened his mouth too widely, he noticed he forgot his wallet at home and had no money for food.

         “Go get my pizza! You can have some too, besides you might learn something new.” Valdo was hungry and were he not so sleepy, he would’ve gone himself.

         That felt utterly annoying for the assistant, as if the guy was mocking him! ‘Learn something new’ he said.

         Once the assistant arrives at the gates, the policemen start interrogating him.

         “Who are you and where are you heading to?

         “Ah? I’m doctor Harsh’s assistant. I wait for a pizza to arrive.”

         One of the policemen instantly made a phone call.

         “Hello. We got some frail and thin looking guy here. He claims he is an assistant of doctor Harsh.”

         “…”

         “Aha. Okay. Bye. Alright, you may stay.”

         After receiving the box with fresh pizza, the policemen insist of checking it and then report it contents with careful detail.

         “Why the hell and whom are you telling what kind of pizza I have?”

         “It’s part of the standard procedure and our orders to report everything. Oh and by the way, I was told to pass the message that you show bad taste by ordering anchovies and spinach pizza.”

         “It’s detective Valdo’s pizza, I’m very hungry and gives me some for free.”

         “Alright, we shall report that too. Hello. It turns out the pizza …”

         The assistant thought they’re a bit too crazy and overdoing their job so he walked away very fast pace.

         After the pizza’s finished the assistant is getting a bit worried.

         “We seriously need to call Harsh and see where he is. He has to hurry up and come back. It’s nearly noon.”

         “Maybe he is already inside? Maybe he never left?” replied Valdo uninterested.

         “Huh?”

         The assistant’s surprised, but then realizes Harsh might have come secretly to investigate the yard alone and undisturbed. He then decides it would be good to go and ask the guards if Harsh came. It wasn’t pleasant to talk to those weird police officer, but he wanted to know right away where his mentor is.

         “Have you seen Harsh coming back?”

         “He never really left. Only came at the gate few hours before dawn to get his preordered oversized and heavy lunchbox and then ate some of our donuts.”

         “Why would he get a huge lunchbox and eat your donuts?”

         “I know. He seems a bit gluttonous.”

         No. That couldn’t be the case. The assistant only recently started working with the doctor, but he knew the man was much disciplined when it came to food intake.

         Since he never left, it was time to go and find him. He went to get Valdo to help him shorten his search. On the way back, he encounters a familiar face. He knew he had seen that novice somewhere.

         “Hello …”

         “Hello and peace to you brother.”

         This novice must have been on the news.

         “I am part of the investigation team.”

         “Glad to hear. I will pray for your success. Is there something I can help with?”

         “Yes, replied the assistant after few seconds when he finally remembered where he had seen that face before. “You must be Lars, the one who caught the previous bishop while burying that boy’s body in the back.”

         “That’s who I am. But I don’t want to judge anyone. Neither the old bishop. It’s only God’s right to cast judgement on us.”

         “Don’t worry. I won’t ask you to. I just would like to know what you think about the recent events that affects the church.”

         “I can only hope the Halloween ceremony will really calm the spirits and help them find their rest.”

         “I see. How well do you know the new bishop? What kind of man is he?”

         “He is a man of God. No doubt. We are all getting along very well. I’m sorry, but I have work to do. Please feel free to ask others if you got further questions.”

         “Thank you very much for your cooperation.”

         Valdo was still lazily lolling on the grass as if nothing in the world mattered anymore, he found his little paradise where he could slack all day long.

         Before Valdo even stood up, Harsh already arrived.

         “I expected you to go ask the policemen at the entrance about my location a lot earlier. And you Valdo I never thought you would try to poison my assistant with that garbage food of yours! I am very disappointed in you!”

         The assistant slightly frowned. Harsh was too well informed.

         “Don’t be surprised. From the moment you noticed them reporting everything over the phone, you should have suspected it was me. I told you before my influence and reputation allows me to get more help than other investigators.”

         “So what progress have you made?” asked Valdo unexcited.

         Harsh’s grin gave the clear sign the mystery was nearly solved.

         “Come with me.”

         Valdo stood up and along with the assistant they followed Harsh. Perhaps some preparations had to be made.

         They moved few chairs and a table behind the short wall that lay at the garden’s entrance. It was more of a decorative and not too large wall. From their position they could see all the digging that has been done.

         Harsh pulled out of his bag some apple juice to serve as refreshment for later. Then he took out some boxes of crackers and even an water boiler for coffee and tea.

         “Lovely day to have a tea party. Agreed?”

         “So what the hell are we doing here Max?”

         “Patience Valdo. We are doing our job of course. What else could we be doing?”







         They sat there relaxing until evening. Nothing happened.

         Valdo was snoring. Harsh was still awake.

         “Shut it Valdo! You scare away the ghosts!” Harsh laughed.

         Couldn’t believe my eyes, but as we passed deeper into the night, glowing pumpkins rose from the ground all around us.

         The assistant was too agitated to sit down any longer.

         Gruber came in the middle of the night. He didn’t notice the silent trio until he pass the low wall.

         “Gruber! Would you like some tea or perhaps some coffee? One sugar? Two sugars?” offered Harsh in a polite tone.

         “Oh, you’re still here. Sorry to interrupt the investigation. I’ll go.”

         “You aren’t disturbing anyone. Why don’t you go ahead and dig? That if you can get around the pumpkins of course.” asked Valdo highly amused.

         “What exactly are you implying? I only came because I’ve seen these bioluminescent pumpkins growing rampant in the yard.”

         “The shovel is over there, leaning on the wall. If you want to dig, go ahead we won’t stop you.” Valdo thought it’s now the best time to push the guy to his limits, see if he might break and confess.

         “Valdo. I’m not suspecting Mr. Gruber. My invitation to tea and coffee was an honest one.”

         “Then what is he doing here in the middle of the night with a bucket in his hand? Why did he bring a bucket with him?”

         “You might have not noticed it yet, but I was practicing to exorcise the ground from ghosts during the day. Every day. I drop this water blessed by his holiness on a covered ground and then make a prayer. So I was thought by the bishop and of course he gave me the permission to practice. It’s the only way to hold the evil spirits at bay.”

         “Well too bad no hole was dug tonight.”

         “When I saw these many pumpkins I thought I couldn’t wait until morning to try to banish the evil from here.”

         As Gruber turned around to walk away to his surprise he noticed something.

         “Strange. There are many more lights on than usually.”

         “In the dark it’s harder to search through belongings, no?” Harsh threw out this seemingly unimportant remark.

         “What do you mean? You should come and help me check what’s going on.”

         “This time we are standing right here until morning.”







         I feel a fingle of bright warmth over my face. Can’t remember dreaming. The hug I receive must be real. Ah! So much warmth! A light breeze was stroking me.

         What a wonderfoo …What gruesome lullaby irritates my ears? Shivering I awake.

         In front of the sleepy assistant, Harsh and Valdo were already on their feet observing the bishop drowning in tears with his head over the pumpkins.

         “I want to cut this all down. Get me some heavy pesticide! Burn it all down. We have to start our garden from scratch.”

         “Why start from scratch?” giggled Valdo.

         “To get rid of evil. YOU! You go away with and take your investigation with you! It isn’t needed. Never was. This is a matter of the church.”

         “I see what you meant Max.” said Valdo and then cuffed the priest.

         Lars and the other novices panicked and come over enraged.

         Harsh pointed his finger at the two police officers that were waiting already there for some time, showing they are ready to arrest anyone who would interfere.

         “Why do you commit this sacrilege?” yelled a novice.

         “Sacrilege? If you wouldn’t be so deeply drowned in your dogma you would have found out what’s really going on.”

         “Mr. pope, I want to know what exactly you were looking for. Your grey friend is clearly buried over there under the withered grape vines. I took some samples and tests results are clear.”

         “A gray? That explains the withering.” Exclaimed the assistant.

         “Sent samples for analysis the day I saw it. It was just too odd to overlook how the entire garden blooms in this healthy green, while that small patch of earth looks intoxicated and is also close to the dug graves.”

         “But why do you arrest our bishop for something buried in the grounds?

         “Patience. I will explain in due time.”

         Harsh took out a stun gun and barely stroke the bishop’s clothes with it. His image blurred away and a gray was revealed. Of course he wanted to sadistically push the shocker deep into his skin. Valdo stopped him.

         “We need him to confess.”

         “What …? Who is this?” demanded Gruber.

         “This is your pope of course. Can’t you recognize his holiness anymore?”

         “So he plantedWhatHe is a man of God.t believe. He might be able to explain i

         t better. No doubt. We are all getting along very well. I the pumpkins, but he is too weak to dig the grave. That must mean, Gruber was digging them and also lying about seeing a ghost digging the holes.” The assistant turned to Gruber. “But why would you cooperate with an alien to desecrate the church grounds when you brag of being a man of god?”

         Gruber threw him an intense frown and spat on the ground.

         “Gruber is innocent. The grey might look frail, but he dug the graves all by himself. I just asked the pope if he had a sleepless night earlier. I guess he was looking for this.” Harsh raised a pair of thick bracers with what appeared to be circuits painted on them. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but they are some sort of exomuscles that enhance the body’s strength n fold.”

         The gray turned his head to his right, down to the ground refusing to answer.

         “He used his holographic field to disguise not only as a crazed pirate ghost, but each and every of the observed ghosts, all aside from the crucified woman. Judging by the facial descriptions of these ghosts, gathered by Valdo, all of the ghosts had the faces of people gone missing or complaining to have been abducted before they went missing again for good.

         “He didn’t plant the pumpkins. A pope doesn’t work the earth so it would look strange to anyone who would see him tending the garden. He couldn’t risk it. Remember when we came we saw only the one woman worker amongst men and only the one at that? Isn’t that a bit strange?

         “I found out through the policemen standing guard, the pope had tasked the impoverished woman to plant seeds for him. Since she was in great need of the money, she accepted it under the condition to not ask any questions, nor to talk to anyone about it. I did notice her planting seeds. When she was faced with the two police officers she had no choice but to talk.

         “I had her waiting at the gate until I arrived there. Then I told her the pope isn’t satisfied any longer with the rate at which she plants the seeds and should plant them all over the place. Yes, I lied and gave her yesterday, her a bag full of seeds that were hidden in the pope’s private cellar. I also gave her a payment in cash and claimed the pope said it would be the last she sees if she doesn’t plant them all by the end of the day it will be the last money she will ever see from him.

         “This gray was searching for something he thought was buried here by his pal’s molester, but whatever you were searching for was confiscated during the previous police investigation, when that pedophile pope was arrested. The other gray had probably tried to abduct the pedophilic pope and some tests on him, maybe even try to understand they way he ticks. Too bad that pope managed to overcome capture and before the gray even noticed what’s going on, he was dead and buried under those now withered vines. This happened few months before the pope was caught digging in some boy’s body on a different side of the church.”

         “Amazing deduction as always doctor Harsh. But why the glowing pumpkins?” asked Valdo in a very impressed manner.

         “As you may have noticed he kept talking about a Halloween ceremony to guide the dead to their rest. What better advertising could there be to make his claims more believable?”

         “I had thought Valdo is a great detective. Isn’t this what you said two days ago? How come he appears to be somewhat in the dark about the case?” asked the assistant.

         “He used to be my assistant before you. Everything he learned to use in his private investigations, he learned from me. I wasn’t his mentor just in alien regards. Not a mentor in alien regards at all.”

         “I just remembered the police officers talking about a large lunchbox. Something tells me it wasn’t really a lunchbox, but instead contained something to break into the pope’s room.

         “So what explains the crucified ghost tearing the gate open if it was really an immaterial hologram?”

         “Don’t you find the lock mechanism odd? Why the extra protection even with the ghosts around, when they kept claiming they were just spirits, not vandals. It wasn’t torn nor broken open. The lock can self open by remote control.

         “The crucified ghost was a holographic projection. It stopped when it was out of the church tower’s range of sight. Also it didn’t appear last night, remember?”

         “That’s right. But why?”

         “Well I silenced it down during my last visit in the tower. It appears to have been closest to the pope’s room.”

         “You have no right to mess with other’s belongings!” groaned the gray.

         “Tell us what exactly you were searching for and it might considerably lower your sentence!” yelled Valdo back.

         “Hah! You know too well I might go disappearing into one of those secret black budget labs and never again be heard nor seen by commoners.”

         “So then better speak up!”

         “I refuse to give an explanation to an inferior specimen.”

         “But what motives does he have to organize a Halloween party and urge everyone to join the celebration at the church?” The assistant was still as confused as anyone else. At least Valdo seemed showed to know more through his confidence.

         “He wanted to attract many people readying them for abduction.” said Harsh.

         “But then everyone would see the UFOs, didn’t you use to tell me they would never reveal themselves willingly as it is against their moral code and policies to do so? And they wouldn’t be able to rely on debunkers, since they wouldn’t be able to cover this one up either. There’s no airport nearby, no weather balloons, not even a source of swamp gas, unless … Unless fireworks could be used as an excuse to account for the strange sightings.”

         “Exactly!”

         Valdo forcefully pulled the gray and took him away in the police cab.







         The next morning at Harsh’s home, we stayed indoors due to the rainy weather.

         “It will take time to dig up all the yard and find the mysterious hidden object. Perhaps it’s not even there. If it was indeed confiscated during the last arrest, the governmental cover up groups of debunkers must have taken it already.”

         There was a clear sound of melancholy in Harsh’s voice.

         “How about we further interrogate the gray?”

         “No use. He himself made it clear. By now you can consider him already sliced and diced up, unless the researchers have other plans for him.”

         The assistant throws a stare full of curiosity.

         “Don’t give me that look. Check the newspaper first, you might see what I mean.”

         Bishop to mysteriously be extradited to the US – It’s surprising to see an extradition so soon after Gary Mckinnon had managed to dodge his …

         “But wasn’t your goal to bring the grays to justice?”

         “He’ll be locked up in a lab. Perhaps if he is lucky they’ll trade him for a human abductee to gather some information about their experience on other worlds. Which is unlikely since they are aware by now that such a trade can backfire against them, since the abductees are mostly throughout brainwashed.

         “Yet another case the world won’t know about and will be kept in secrecy of. Just goes to show what a backward world we live in. I hate to sympathize with the grays, but sometimes I wonder if they aren’t actually also doing good by trampling on our heads, maybe people will finally be forced to wake up from the dollhouse reality they live in.”

Maybe! Maybe never …