What's My Story?

I’m that person who knows many people, but only lets a select few close
I’m the girl in the back corner of the University Center, hiding from the world
It’s not that I hate people, though I say I do, I just have lost all trust in others
I want nothing to do with people anymore, becoming more shut out as each day passes

Even my close friends are losing touch with me these days and it’s my fault
I don’t bother texting anyone, I tell myself I should, but I have no interest
I just want to be alone, because when I am shut out from the world it allows the numbness to seep in
I don’t feel pain when I am alone, I can try not to think about the ways people have hurt me

I am not depressed, but I am sad most days; Not suicidal by any means but life does seem hopeless
I just wish I could start over, change my entire life around, and redo every piece of it
Most people say they wouldn’t change anything but I have come to believe I would
I am tough, physical pain doesn’t faze me anymore but I never asked to be this way

At school life is rough, living between tests and essays; assignments that come from no where
Home is no better, I tell everyone things are fine; and then I change the topic quickly
I don’t want to talk about it but the truth is things are not fine, they never have been
As far as I can tell they never will be, I have tried everything I can; nothing changes anything

So for now this is me, the shut out, world spinning fast around me, but no interest in it at all
Friends who tell me they never see me, I say I will meet up, and I do but these are rare and far between
I have parents who may never understand what I have been through and for this all we do is fight
I’m trying to protect myself because though I am tough truth is no one should go through this much pain