Science T.V. (I'm not good with titles)

This is a message from the Canadian Government. Are you fed up with hot days? Are you tired of smoggy skies? Then take action now. Fertilizers and pesticides will wash into our city’s storm sewers and turn the clean rain water into poisoned sewage which will wash into our oceans to be there forever. This is another form of pollution…     

          “Whew, this is exciting” thought Oscar to himself before he goes on air. He is an average T.V. actor who stars in science shows, especially the ones geared towards children. Right now he is just waiting for the commercial to end so he can jump in and teach children about the wonders of science, once of his many joys.

          “You’re on in 3… 2… 1… ACTION!” yelled the director.

          “Hello, I am Oscar La and today I will show you how to make a baking soda volcano. You will need some vinegar, paper, water, corn starch, baking soda, and a flat table with something covering it as this will get very messy. First off, grab the water and the baking soda and mix them together nice and gentle. Careful not to splash!” said Oscar as he stirred the two ingredients together. SPLASH! He mixed it too fast and now he was covered in a thick, white liquid. He always was a big klutz. “Well, I guess I’m an example of what not to do.” The film crew broke into a slight laughter. Oscar smiled. “Well, at least I’m not doing too bad.” he said to himself silently.

          “Done? Next you get some scissors – with parent supervision – and start cutting the paper into strips. Sort of like bacon strips if you like them.” After Oscar cut the paper, it looked nothing like straight strips. Instead they looked all wobbly and uneven, like how a toddler would cut. The crew burst into more laughter.

          “After cutting the strips of paper, dip them one by one into the water and baking soda mixture then carefully assemble them into what’s supposed to look like a volcano. I like to sprinkle a little bit of salt right after it dries to give it that rocky texture.” Bzzzzzz. There was a fly flying around his head, making the buzzing noise he hated very much. “Dumb pest. C’mere!” he flailed his arms around wildly trying to swat what right now is the bane of his existence. Thwack! Phoof! He hit the bag of salt that was lying on the table and created a giant mushroom cloud of this inorganic compound right in the studio. By now the entire crew could barely keep a straight face and were all crazy with laughter.

            “Well, wasn’t that amusing. Now, we pour some baking soda into the volcano. Remember, not too much and not too little. After that grab your vinegar and brace yourself as you pour it into the volcano.” The volcano was bubbling ferociously, just as he had planned. “The reason it bubbles is because the baking soda is a base and vinegar is an acid so when you mix them together, they react accordingly. Isn’t science fascinating? Well sorry, but that’s all the time we have for today. See you next time on Oscar’s Experiments!”

          “And that’s a rap! Good job team! Oh Oscar, could you see me for a moment?” yelled the director.

          "Ohh dang, I probably screwed up big time. I hope he’ll let me off easily." he thought to himself. Oscar followed the director into his office, expecting the worst.

          “You know why I hired you in the first place?” the director spoke softly. “It’s because when I hired you, I thought you would have this klutzy charm everybody would love.” Oscar waited for the f-word (fired), tensing all his muscles and squinting his eyes. “And that’s exactly what you were.” The director exclaimed with a slight smile. Right then, Oscar’s face lit up.