The best is yet to come

Birthdays have never been special to me. Not because I don't want them to be, but it seems kind of lame to plan the celebration for your own birthday. I used to think my kids or my husband would do something special. My husband wasn't the romance and flowers kind of guy. If I wanted a present from him I had to take him to the store and buy it right then. Somehow that takes the romance right out of it.

So maybe my kids would like to celebrate my birthday, huh. Well when they were young I got the homemade gifts which while I appreciated them and still have most of them, even the homemade ashtrayust weren't what I was looking for. By the way, I don't smoke. But when the kids get old enough to shop by them selves you would think they could buy a present or at least a card.

Well, now that I have reached middle age I have pretty much given up on having a birthday celebration unless I plan it myself. So this year I decided I would do whatever I wanted. I had to work that day. I figured I would go to work and then after work I would celebrate. Maybe ask some of my co-workers out for supper. Yeah, I am not good about planning my own birthdays. I keep waiting for someone to pop up and yell surprise. In fact, I usually wait until 11:59 P.M. Just in case and then I finally admit defeat once again. Well, this year there would be no waiting.

When I got to work things were kind of crazy. I didn't even make it to my office I just threw my purse behind the desk and took off running. When things started quieting down after 10, I wandered back to the break room and poured a cup of coffee to take to my office. I stopped at the desk to pick up my purse. I noticed a few of the staff where standing around laughing. I figured it was just the lull after the storm and didn't say anything. I pulled my office keys out of my pocket sloshing a little coffee on my shoes. The door swung open easily, too easily since my lock was kind of cranky.

I shoved the door open. My office was covered with toilet paper. TP on the ceiling. TP wrapped around my desk chair. TP over every file cabinet. TP was literally dripping and swaying from every place in the office. Behind me the staff was lined up laughing. “Surprise, they shouted. Then more laughter as they rolled in the birthday cake shaped like a roll of toilet paper.

All day people from other departments came by with gag gifts like bathroom spray, cards written on paper towels, and even a toilet paper dispenser that played “How Dry I am” By the end of the work day my mood was festive. The staff informed me that they had reserved several tables at the local hot spot for cocktails and appetizers.

Heading for my car, I smiled and even hummed Happy Birthday to Me. It had been a great day so far. When I got to my car I burst out laughing. The staff had wrapped the car in TP with Happy Birthday written on it. Two of my friends hurried to help me remove the toilet paper. We laughed and shouted as we flung the paper at each other. Then we stuffed it all in a trash bag and I was off.

The tables at the hot spot were decorated with outhouses. The chairs had colored toilet paper draped around them like crepe paper. So far work was far above anything my family had ever put together.
I sat in the chair decorated as a throne, the porcelain throne that is. That's right a toilet. Everyone got a big kick out of that.

Then when they brought out a present all wrapped in toilet paper I was sure nothing could top that. I started unrolling the paper gently then ended up tearing it off. There under all that toilet paper was my husband. My husband who has zero imagination and no romance in his soul. When I looked surprised everyone started talking at once. “It was all his idea” was the one sentence I could decipher. “You?” I asked. “Well, darling you always said your birthdays were s***y. I thought we would give you just what that sounds like,” he chuckled.

Well, it was a birthday that belonged in a bathroom but it was the best ever. I can't wait to see what they do next year. Oh, shoot I guess that means I have to come up with a good idea for his birthday too.