The American In-Breeders Dictionary

The American In-Breeders Dictionary, Simpleton Edition
(The Meaning of Several Words or Phrases)
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'-denotes which syllable (A part of the word) should be emphisized

‘Ye-haw!--‘ye-haw!--an expression of joy--IE--“We got us some more cigarettes and beer, ye-haw!”
Shee!--shee!--an expression of disgust--IE--“What ya mean I can’t borrow the 4x4 tonight? Shee!”
Gun-rack--‘gun-rack--a rack for holding your 6 shotguns, as well as serving as a coat rack for your sleeveless coat (vest)
Calendar--‘cal-an-dar--a handy item for when you drink so much, you forget what day it is
Frozen Burrito--‘fro-zen burr-it-o--a good stand-by to eat for the person who gets so drunk, they shouldn’t be anywhere around something that glows orange and heats things up (stove)
Four-by-four--‘four-by-four--a manly vehicle for men, as well as women who chew, that allows for plenty of drunken mistakes. Also serves as a handy place to pass out, when you just can’t make it home
Vest--vest--a sleeveless coat with pockets which allows the wearer to stuff extra beers in the pockets, and serve as his or her own bag
Racing car--‘rac-ing car--used as a sporting device in you and your date (cousin)’s favorite sport
Convenience store--con-‘ven-i-ence store--big building where a person can purchase staples of every day living (beer, chewing tobacco, corn dogs, hats with tractors on them, frozen burritos, etc; often open 24 hours
Chewing tobacco---chew--ing-tob-bacc-o-- tobacco product where it is essential the user stuffs as much in their face as possible, (maybe more). Also considered an aphrodisiac in many countries
Hound dawwge--‘hound-dawwge--a term of endearment
“Are you my dad?--are-‘you-my-dad?--question asked by people who just aren’t sure; used to identify possible relatives
Yall get--yall-‘get--a term used to drive off unwanted visitors
The north forty--the ‘north-forty--phrase often used by people to describe their back yard
Cousin--‘cous-in--eligible marriage material, or to date if you just want some fun
Weed wacker--‘weed-wack-er--using a sharp object to harvest your crop
Republican--re-pub-li-can--the only politician who’s not full of s**t, automatic vote
Democrat--‘dem-o-crat--reprehensible bottom feeder; automatic no vote
Independent--'in-de-pend-ent--republican who’s all mixed up
Cheese puffs--'Cheese-puffs--makes for a good "I'm bombed, and hungry" snack food
Soap--soap--a bar-shaped cleaning product that should be used at least once a week
Tooth decay--'tooth-de-cay--a way to define who you are
Petrified-'pet-tri-fied--a description of your underwear
Slim Jim--'Slim-Jim--describes your drinking buddy
Half rack--'half-rack--a good fall-back position for when you can't scrounge enough loose change out from under your couch cusions to be able to afford a whole case
Carton--'car-ton--a handy device that your cigarrettes come in; also makes a good holding deal when empty
Four-door--'four-door--a more comfortable car for living in that a 2-door
Poaching--'poach-ing--a way to acquire dinner
Licence--'lic-ence--totally unnessary, frivolous, waste of time designed to make lawers happy
Limit--'lim-it--imaginary barrier to your having fun
Inflatable--in-'flat-able--your new mate
Hack saw--'hack-saw--a saw to be used when you're angry
Smoldering-'smold-er-ing--the smoking remains of your house after you torch it for the insurance money
Time bomb--'time-bomb--your heart when you hoover cheeseburgers every night
Jerky--'jerk-y--description of the way your neighbor drives home after drinking at the tavern till 2am
Cardboard--'card-board--what your frozen pizza tastes like after overcooking because you're hammered
Fanny pack--'fann-y-pack--when you girlfriend Fanny carries stuff
Fishing lure--'fish-ing-lure--sticks of dynamite
Bar stool--'bar-stool--going to the bathroom at the tavern
Funnel--'funn-el--a device used to drink beers faster
Best friend--'best friend--person who bails you out after your arrest
Gawking--'gawk-ing--what you do to the girl with a nice rack; often accompaned by heavy drooling
Clock--clock--device for knowing how long you have left to drink
Couch--couch--a place to sleep after your wife has had it with you
Say-la-vie--say-la-vie--a fancy way of saying, "Get lost, you sack of s**t!"
Caviar--'cav-i-ar--gross-tasting fish embrios
Garden hose--'gar-den-hose--what you cut up to attach to the funnel
Spectacles--'spec-tac-les--what you and your friend make of yourselves while out drinking
Loser--'los-er--good way to describe yourself to the authorities
What up?--'what-up?--what to say to someone when you really aren't interested, but don't want to appear rude
Hey, baby!--'hey-ba-by!--what you scream at the top of your lungs across the room, when you see someone attractive and want their attention
Nice rack--'nice-rack--complimentry words for when your friend buys particularly-beautiful wine rack
Mulch--mulch--what you eat when you pass out in your neighbor's yard
Cell burgers--'cell-bur-gers--what they serve you to eat in jail
Electrolytes--e-'lec-tro-lytes--lighter than heavy electros
Clean and jerk--'clean-and-jerk--showering before masturbating
Why now?--'why-now?--the way a person with a speech impedemint, who, upon seeing a guy sleeping on a park bench, says, "Wino?"
Speedometer--speed-'om-eter--what should fit into the hole in your dashboard
Lightshade-'light-shade--what to wear on your head at parties
Baseball hat--'base-ball-hat--hat with picture of you, and the words, "Single and Available" promenently displayed
Beer belly--'beer-bell-y--opposite sex attractor; also a handy floatation device used while swimming
Tire iron--'tire-ir-on--used to even the odds when you get in an altercation with a big dude at a tavern
Grazing-'graz-ing--what you have to do if you're bombed out of your gourde, fall face down in a farmer's field, and are hungry for a snack
Potty trained--'pott-y-trained--what you should already be when you're 37
Customized--'cust-om-ized--what your regular 4x4 will become when turned into a monster truck and has flames painted on the side
Party favor--par-ty-'fa-vor--asking your friends to please hold something to honor your finally getting a job
Delight-de'light--what you say when you find the lamp
Toasted wheat--'toast-ed-wheat--the result of accidently torching your neighbor's wheat field when you drunkenly decide to play a game of "Towering Inferno" with a can of gasoline and a book of matches
Possum squares--'pos-sum-squares--fancy dessert made from road-kill
Cletus--'Clet-us--popular name for reletives (cousins, uncles, etc.)
Airbag--'air-bag--a pet name for one's stomach after hoovering many beers
Botulism--'bot-u-lism--another name for your aunt's cooking
Dung heap--'dung-heap--a description of your house after you host a Super Bowl party for relatives
Blended --'blend-ed--the result of sweeping up your tobacco after spilling it on the floor, and using it
Fog horn--'fog-horn--horn you attach to your 4X4 and that is activated by depressing a button on your key chain, for when you get too blotto, and can't remember where you parked
Tattoo--'tat-too--a mark of super-intellegence that will NEVER come off, even when the naked young lady's breasts resemble skin pendulums
Flimsy--'flim-sy--describes the cardboard box that serves as your living quarters
No-win situation--'no-win-sit-u-a-tion--every situation for you
Tremendous--'tre-men-dous--much too long of a word for you ever to use
Ook-ook--a mythical beast with fangs, sharp talons, and in insatiable thirst for American beer
Zook--zook--a mythical beast with fangs, sharp talons, an insatiable thirst for American beer, and who upchucks in a bag
Brush--brush--something your hair will never see
Toothbrush--'tooth-brush--a hand-held device used for removing grout from hard-to-reach places on freshly-poured cement. There are no other known uses for this device
Stop sign--'stop-sign--the thing you blow through while driving your big 4X4 truck
Wind--wind--a mysterious force that when it's too hot, makes you sweat, and when it's too cold, is a real nut-shriveller
Blow-by--'blow-by--when your partner wants recognition for an act performed
Bad news--'bad-news--when your Uncle Fester calls to announce he's coming to stay with you for an undertermined length of time
Zodiac--'zo-di-ac--absolutely-true prophecies based on the position of the shredded wheat in your cereal bowl
Another time--'an-oth-er-time--when you buy a second clock
Hairspray--'hair-spray--name of a big-budget musical
Front door--'front-door--the thing you see 3 of when you come home from the tavern
Dewsy--'dew-sy--what you get when you get so drunk, you do a face-plant into a field on a cold December morning
Black--black--to understand what the color black looks like, look at your teeth in the mirror
Chow time--'chow-time--what takes up your time between beer binges
Cold medicine--'cold-med-i-cine--what you take a bunch of and mix with several dark beers; the result is one hell of a good buzz
Force feed--'force-feed--when food is thrown at your face with incredible velocity
Cattle call--'cat-tle-call--what you do when searching for lost livestock
Wing-wing--when produce is thrown off of a highway overpass with great force
NASCAR--NAS-CAR--we're not sure of the definition, but it must be awfully important, because every letter is capitalized
Pork rinds--'pork-rinds--a staple food of your diet, made from the rinds of pigs
Cheeks--cheeks--face protrusions that hold in all the chewing tobacco you've stuffed into your mouth
Powder--'pow-der--when you punch someone, and have no memory of having done it
Castle--'cas-tle--a triple-wide mobile home
Hairball--'hair-ball--what the ball in head tennis is made of
Potato--po-'tat-o--what men stuff down their pants to appear larger; note: should go in the front
Crimson--'crim-son--your face, after the disappointment, when you realize that the comment from the guy next to you, "Nice a**!", was actually meant for the girl beside you
Bratwurst--'brat-wurst--the opposite of bratbest
Karma--'kar-ma--your drag-racing mother
Dial--'di-al--the knob on your AM radio that you turn until you find a country music station
Fierce--fierce--a word used to describe that especially-good bowl of chili at "Sawed-Off Mama's Bar and Grill"; IE, "That was one good bowl of chili; fierce!"
Succotash--'succ-o-tash--what you hope happens on your date with Miss Tash
Firebrand--'fire-brand--denotes what company marketed it
Shell game--'shell-game--a game you play while filling up your vehicle
Nuclear--'nu-cle-ar--a nuc you can see through
Pretty messed up--'pret-ty-mess-ed-up--a very happy mess who's beautiful
Spatula--'spat-u-la--an argumentative ula
Downspout--'down-spout--a spout who's under the care of a psychiatrist because they want to feel more up
Horn dog--'horn-dog--a dog with a big poiny sharp thing protruding from its forehead
Time off--'time-off--a broken clock
Golfing--'golf-ing--a good excuse to get away from the wife so you can snorkle beer
Transom--'trans-om--the make of a very famous car
Ballistic--'ball-istic--a dude with gigantic testicles
Waver--'wav-er--a person who surfs
Plagiarism--'plag-iar-ism--pagiarism with an L added
Ski jump--'ski-jump--thing you sail off, land hard, and rack your nuts
Spell check--'spell-check--what you get for winning a writing contest for a piece having to do with good spelling
Coffee--'cof-fee--the nectar o' the gods
Squash--squash--yellowish runny lump of s**t your mom makes you eat; sure path to heave-dom
Pathway--'path-way--how a path acts
Happy--'hap-py--how you feel when you find a beer in the fridge behind that jar of mustard
Smile--smile--the length of a very long S
Diarrhea--'di-arr-hea--what comes out of your mouth when you say something stupid
Angst--angst--what working on this damn dictionary causes
Piper--'pip-er--what you call a big-a** dude carrying a pipe
Swing set--'swing-set--what you swing on and jump off of when the swing's at its apex, in the dark, because you're too soused to have any common sense left
Cannon fodder--'can-non-fod-der--what the hell's a fodder? Whatever it is, it has something to do with a long, hollow tube, out of which comes a projectile
Germinate--'germ-in-ate--when Nate gets ill
Brew ha-ha--'brew-ha-ha--when you laugh so hard, the beer you're drinking comes out your nose
Lacktose--'lack-tose--when you're missing a tose
Feelings--'feel-ings--what the male of the species have no clue about
Cranium-'cran-i-um--when your ium is way off the ground
Watch--watch--the thing on your wrist you keep glancing at to see if you have enough time to have one more beer before heading home
Sprinkler--'sprink-ler--what wakes you up after passing out in your front yard
Daydream--'day-dream--that you're any different than the other 6.94 billion people
Nightshade--'night-shade--what you wear over your eyes because you have a massive hangover
Cross action--'cross-act-ion--looking to score off of a transvestite
Double yellow--'dou-ble-yell-ow--the magnetic stripes painted on the highway that seems to attract your car tires on your way home from the tavern
Swing and a miss--'swing-and-a-miss--what you shout drunkenly to the bartender when an attractive woman shoots you down
Numb skull--'numb-skull--the result of being hit over the head with the purse of an attractive woman who has no sense of humor
Bartender--'bar-ten-der--the unfortunate person who is subjected to your slurred, unfunny ramblings
Cartwheel--'cart-wheel--what you accidentely do while trying to pass the sobriety test
Erosion--e-'ros-ion--what happens to your judgment after snorkling beer for an entire evening
Fire goo--'fire-goo--what you get any time you try to cook, anything
Prison--'pri-son--big building with bars, where you sleep most nights
Gruel--'gru-el--big bowl of s**t they serve for dinner in prison, right before you pass out on the cold, hard, unforgiving cell floor
Dresser--'dress-er--A cabinet, usually made of wood, that holds your country music tee-shirts, your single pair of jeans that you hook your wallet-on-a-chain to, your weekly supply of 2 pair of underwear (your vest hangs in the closet), and a pack of condoms, just in case you meet a girl at the tavern tonight who hasn't heard of your reputation (well earned) as a sex-crazed freak-a**, and you get lucky
Pinwheel--'pin-wheel--what your hapless body does after you attempt to use the local ski jump
Spinning wheel--'spin-ning-wheel--gymnastics for drunk people
Seatbelt--'seat-belt--a hassle that always seemed to get snagged on the case of beer you always buy, so you took yours out
Grass--grass--what absorbs most of the impact of your falling drunk body, after returning home at 2.15 in the morning
Can't catch a break--can't-catch-a-break--having no luck when you go break fishing
Lucky charm--'luck-y-charm--babeball hat with the name of a chewing tobacco company on it that you always wear fishing
Boulder--'boul-der--an increasing sense of confidence-IE--"The more I've had to drink, the boulder I get!"
Fire extinguisher--fire-ex-'tin-guish-er--the effect of alcohol on your love life
Chain link fence--'chain-link-fence--an impenetrable barrier for keeping creditors off your back; a perfect improvised bottle opener. Simply insert bottle and twist, anywhere along fence. Twisting will sheer (bust) the bottle top off that 64-ounce beer you bought, and just can't wait until you get home to drink when you're thirsty now, and desperate
Produce--'pro-duce--what you scrounge for (hopefully rotten) in the dumpster at your local grocery store to launch at vehicles in the dead of night
Razor wire--'raz-or-wire--thing you scale under cover of darkness, that surrounds the local cemetary, so you can have a good, quiet place to guzzle the 6-pack you swiped from your old man
Fabric--'fab-ric--what gets snagged on your neighbor's wire fence, after trying to sneak into his yard to watch his teenage daughter practice for the cheerleading squad in her upstairs bedroom window, wearing only underwear
Cahoots--ca-'hoots--an entire family of Ca birds
Jumper cables--'jum-per-ca-bles--cables, that when properly secured, make it virtually impossible for members of the high school track team to even leave the ground; often used by opponents
Melting pot--'melt-ing-pot--top-of-the-line marajuana that makes the user think their face is actually melting
Danger--'dan-ger--what you suddenly find yourself in, because you've, for some strange reason, stuck a high-voltage power line down your pants
Pronger--'prong-er--a derogatory slur you yell at the uncaring bastard who cut in front of you at the supermarket check-out register
Sailing--'sail-ing-- your body, after falling overboard from a speeding hydroplane
Gripe--gripe--what you do every time something doesn't go your wa--err--every time
Push comes to shove--'push-comes-to-shove--the result of spending a holiday with relatives
Quaker--'Quak-er--what you turn into when threatened with any kind of physical violence
Tool--tool--what the teenagers in that passing car scream that you are
Slop--slop--what you do with the beef stew you reheated, when you attempt to consume it after having 12 beers
Hammer--'ham-mer--what you take to that bastard's windshield while he's away, because you're a Quaker
Excrement--'ex-cre-ment--what your hopes and dreams turn into
Ball bearing--'ball-bear-ing--men's underwear
Torch--torch--what that comic at the nightclub will do to your face
Pressure--'press-ure--trying to make this dictionary somewhat humorous
Tire gauge--'tire-gauge--when you stare at the tire tread left on the tires of your 4x4 truck, decide they're good enough for a little while, and you're good for a few more cases of beer
Hollow point--'hol-low-point--when you point something out, but your heart just isn't in it
Buck toothed--'buck-tooth-ed--a male deer with a bad overbite
Call girl--'call-girl--a women who spends all her time on the phone
Classy--'clas-sy--has absolutely nothing to do with you
Furtive glance--'fur-tive-glance--when you're out hunting beaver, and you see movement out of the corner of your eye
Bald--bald--what you are when you remove the "It's 9 inches" trout fishing baseball cap
Sunny slope--'sun-ny-slope--your forehead on a clear day
Trash--trash--what you let build up in your single-wide until there's not enough room for the black and white television, and you can no longer watch pro wrestling
Intelligence--in'tell-i-gence--we have to admit, we have no clue
Kryptonite--'krypt-o-nite--a night when you pass out in the local cemetery
Socks--socks--what stay standing, and you tell people they're new-age sculptures you've been working on
Treason--'trea-son--a sapling growing undeneath a full-grown tree
Rebel--'reb-el--what you are when you decide to switch mini markets to buy your cigarettes, chewing tobacco, beef jerky, beer, ect.
Coat hanger--'coat-hang-er--a device used when you get hammered, and accidently lock your keys in your 4X4
Expiration date--ex-pir-a-tion-date--we're not sure, but we think it has something to do with a date printed on food lablel
Tarter--'tar-ter--the 3 inch thick crust on your teeth
Article--'ar-tic-le--those things in the newspaper with many words you skip over till you get to the comics
Air freshener--'air-fresh-en-er--a nice-smelling tree-shaped deal that you hang up to cover the stench of the air in your single wide
Battle ax--'bat-tle-ax--another name for your mother-in-law
Code red--'code-red--the code of the fire department when they respond to your home to douse the flames after you misjudged how long to cook dinner
Elevator--'el-e-vat-or--We don't know the definition, but we do know that yours doesn't go all the way to the top
Sandskrit--'sand-skrit--mixed with water to make skrit cement
Dreadlocks--'dread-locks--a crippling fear of forgetting where you put your keys
Forest--'for-est--the thing that prevents you from seeing the trees
Hail-hail--what your friend Jimmy Joe does to you from one of several taverns
Baked--baked--we did know the definition, but we forgot
Never--'nev-er--the day you're judged to have a clue, about anything
Half-baked--like we already admitted, we forget the definition of baked, but we remember what half means
Clean--clean--the opposite of what your single wide is
Spay and neuter--spay-and-neu-ter--what you should have done to your pets, but it's so much easier to give the babies away or dump them far away from your house
Cake--cake--what dirt does on your skin if you miss either of your 2 showers a month
Tough--tough--just take a look at your limp wrists, and you tell us
Baker's dozen--'bak-ers-doz-en--about 9 higher than you can count
Roll--roll--what you come to the end of, so you use your shirt
Video tape--'vid-e-o-tape--what the prosecution uses against you at your trial for erratically driving your 4X4 on your way home from hunting, surrounded by mountains of empty beer cans
Crime tape--'crime-tape--what the police use to seal the doors of your 4X4
Sacrilege--'sac-ril-ege--how your ledge comes
Prissy--'pris-sy--how you look dancing
Rancid--'ran-cid--describes most of the items in your refrigerator
Goof--goof--what others see when they see you
Frown--frown--what others do when they see you
Vomit--'vom-it--what others do after the see you and frown
Clown--clown--you
Bite me--'bite-me--what you tell the cop who has pulled you over for doing 30 mph in a 65 mph zone, and weaving all over
Close shave--'close-shave--the shave you get when you drunkenly stagger face-first into a oscilatting fan with a broken cover
Rocket--'rock-et--what you do to your front window after spending most of the evening at the tavern, and forgetting to pick up your house key from off the kitchen counter
Broom--broom--the weapon of choice for your angry wife
Bloody--'blood-y--what your face will become after your angry wife uses her weapon of choice on you
Jail--jail--what your house will become after your angry wife catches you and uses her weapon of choice
Sublime--'sub-lime--a piece of fruit underwater
Detour--'de-tour--when you pay $5 to be shown around something
Au-gratin--au-'gratin--an expression of disgust--IE--"Oh, these crab cakes au gratin!"
Hair raising--'hair-raz-ing--when you have a crane hooked to your head
Javalin--'jav-a-lin--when you give your friend Lin a cup of coffee
Nip and tuck--'nip-and-tuck--what you need to do when your bra's too small
College--'col-lege--a big group of buildings that people like you pass by on your way to work the graveyard shift at "The Happy Reefer Shack"
Phone sex--'phone-sex--the thing you enjoy, but would enjoy more if the receiver didn't keep getting caught in your zipper
Laser--'la-ser--what the revolving lights of a police car look like in your rearview mirror after being pulled over on your way home from the tavern late at night
Parasites--'par-a-sites--two sights
Parachute--'par-a-chute--what fails to open, but makes a cool-looking streamer until you hit the ground
End over end--'end-o-ver-end--the action of your hapless body, after losing control of your motocross bike
Bobby--'bob-by--the pet name you give to your Johnson one night after using a funnel to down several malt liquors at once
Johnson--'John-son--what you take out and wave at the policeman when he pulls you over one night after leaving the tavern
Bloated--'bl-oa-ted--your massive stomach, after reefing about a pound of hashish and gorphing about 3 pounds of Aunt Poleax's possum squares
Poleax--'pole-ax--an ax that crosses into the Arctic
Meat packing plant--'meat-pack-ing-plant--a plant sporting a huge wang
Lust--lust--something you'll never feel again, Shrivel King
Pachyderm--'pach-y-derm--when you decide to take a derm on your camping trip
Hair care products--'hair-care-prod-ucts--why do you need this definition, cue-ball?
Sleep deprived--'sleep-de-prived--me, right now
Shatter--'shat-ter--what your blackened, rotten teeth do when you bite down on yet-another piece of hard candy
Living hell--'liv-ing-hell--what your life becomes when Uncle Wally and Aunt Jean come to stay with you, indefinitely
Spore--spore--what pore becomes when an S is added
Crinkle cut--'crink-el-cut--the kind of frozen French fries you stupidly buy after getting hammered and going grocery shopping. You wanted the other kind
Blue balls--'blue-balls--what you get when a can of blue spray paint explodes in your pants
Camp stove--'camp-stove--a stove you take camping, the two drawbacks being they weigh a ton, and require a miles-long extension chord
Eye candy--'eye can-dy--when you're such a pig, you miss your mouth
Scarf--scarf--either a warm piece of cloth that helps keep you warm, or what you do to that plate of Aunt Mary Jane's brownies
Hoodwink--'hood-wink--an amorous thief
Streamer--'stream-er--a person who likes to swim
Bad luck--'bad-luck--the only kind of luck known to you
Scab--scab--what you are constantly picking off of your legs, because you get so hammered, you forget how to walk and keep slamming into the coffee table with your shins
Slime ball--'slime-ball--what you get when you're playing catch and your baseball lands in an open sewer
Soap sucker--'soap-suc-ker--what you become after using coarse language in front of your mother
Blarney--'blar-ney--the way you pronounce your friend Barney's name after hoovering beer all night at the tavern
Buttocks--'butt-ocks--when your a** says it looks fine
Sixty seven mustang--'six-ty-se-ven-mus-tang--the car on the car lot you wish you owed as you pass by in your 4-door beater with 3 missing hubcaps, on your way to your job cleaning toilets
Severance pay--'sev-er-ance-pay--The money you get after being s**-canned for drag racing your forklift in The Crystal Glass Factory
Mouth mush--'mouth-mush--what that 3 pound wad of chewing tobacco becomes after about 3 hours in your face
Pins and needles--'pins-and-need-dles--what you're on after your wife gets mad at you for not reading her mind and threatening to withhold sex from you
Hammer time--'ham-mer-time--as soon as you get off work
Bottom feeder--'bot-tom-fee-der--what you friends call you behind your back
Flaming surprise--'flam-ing-sur-prise--what's for dinner
Daylight--'day-light--what shoots out from that fiery, unbelievably-bright orb in the sky and blinds your bloodshot eyes when you come to after hoovering flat beer at a run-down dump of a tavern last night
Poolside--'pool-side--when you ralph next to your sleeping bag, after downing a s**t-load of beer
Naked--'na-ked--describes your state after you friends lock you outside while playing strip poker and drinking at your friend Sven's house
Califlower--'cal-i-flow-er--what do you call?
Wasteland--'waste-land--whatever country your fat a** is in

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