Lee's Gay Adventure

                                                                                                       Lee's Gay Adventure

Lee Batchelor was a young, unshaven, grubby little man. A man that not even a mother could love. Lee had often wondered what life would be like if he had any sort of charm or physical attractiveness. It wasn't long before Lee headed down the road of self-harm. Lee had never thought highly of himself, in the best of times he would think he was just a bit of a cunt. Even I could not respect him in any way. It was Lee's fifth year at the bar where he worked. Mick's Dicks. It was the most run-down gay bar in all of San Francisco, but that didn't put Lee off. These were his people. Tall Tim, the vietnam vet with no legs or arms, and his man-servant Hector. Lee had seen pictures of him as a young lad with the rest of his platoon. Tall Tim had once been a hulking behemoth of a man, towering over even the best basketball players. Lee often fantised about Tim rescuing him from a POW camp, and Tim taking him in his arms and caressing him gently. These were nights when Lee felt most alone.

He knew he would never find a man to call his own, or even if he did have some slither of hope, it was indeed, just a slither. Lee often poked at his little dingus in the dark of night to the pictures his bar-goers would bring in. Nude or not, Lee was up for anything, as it was the best action he could get. Lee was just a short man of 5'2. His waistcoat had become weathered and torn. His eyes mismatched and crossed. Lee had suffered most of his life from Boss-eyedness. A condition which gives the illusion that he is indeed as mad as he looks. His purple chinos did him no favours with the bar regulars. Lee was hung like a rabbit and had the teeth to match. Calling Lee ugly was a great understatement. When he was taken from his mothers womb and into the light of day, the doctors had laughed, some even called it the child of satan, more thought that he had been born deaf, dumb and blind. It had been a fate much worse than that, Lee, as it turned out, was the ugliest man alive. When Lee became poor and living on the streets, even the poorest passers-by had refused his sexual advances, so Lee had to call the Guinness book of Records people to come verify his grotesque face. When they saw the monster that awaited them, they vomited, confirmed that he was indeed the ugliest man alive and gave him his £1000 prize. With that £1000 he took a course to become a Bartender. It hadn't been Lee's dream though. Lee had always wanted to be a ballerina, but was turned down because of his size, shape and downright unattractiveness.

It was a quiet night down at Mick's Dicks. A few regulars, Tall Tim of course, some strangers, and a particularly interesting young man in a dark leather trenchcoat. He was sitting by the bar sipping a martini. Lee had been too shy to approach the man, but curiousity got the better of him. "Hello there fine fellow, What brings you to this neck of the woods?" Lee said in his poofy accent. The mans eyes darted up at Lee, they had looked as terrible as Lee's. "Whet ya wa'tin?!" The voice said, as serious as imaginable, with a thick, Scottish accent. "I'm sorry, I just haven't seen you around here, I'll leave if you'd like" It was typical of Lee to be so apologetic, he never did have a spine after all. "Naw naw naw, Am sorreh laddie ave just no got any mates aboot here yi kehn?" The voice was less serious this time, and Lee was drawn to it. Like a moth to light. "Well, I'm Lee Timmons Batchelor, what's your name?" Said Lee, with a mild air of attraction to this mysterious figure. "Mah names Robert. Am 21, Ah know everythin." He said, as sure as sure could be. "Well, Rab, Do you mind If I call you Rab?" Lee asked romantically. "Aye laddie, A'd love it." Robert said, putting his hand on Lee's.

Suddenly there was silence. The room was gone. The people were gone. Now there was only Lee and Robert. Man and Man. Lover and Lover. It was as if Lee's heart sprang out of his chest and moved in with Roberts. Lee had only know the man for a few minutes, but he was already in love. Robert kept his eyes fixed on Lee's face, not at all turned off by it. It was surely some sort of miracle. Lee had been the ugliest man anyone had even cared to know, Was Robert blind, or did he just not care? Roberts lips met Lee's, and Lee's mismatched eyes turned to saucers. He closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Lee had never kissed anyone before, this was a new experience for him. He clutched Robert's hand to his chest and started licking at his face. "Oh Robert, take me, take me right here as the whole bar watches." Lee screamed, unable to contain his excitement. Robert put his hand to Lee's lips. "Shhh, my love, not here, no wee ah these ehs upon us. Come wee me"

Robert pulled Lee out of the bar with his hand and into the alley way behind him. He wondered If it was finally time for him to stretch his anus. He had no idea what to do. He realised his heart was beating. Like a drum. Bum. Bum. Bum. He's going to get it up the bum. It all made sense. It wasn't long before they had both taken out their wangs and started slapping them together. Lee had thought it they rubbed them together quick enough they would catch fire, like two sticks, but he was wrong. "Here comes daddeh" Screamed Rab, inserting his mishapen dingus into Lee's gaping cornhole. Lee had made a habbit of shoving household objects up inside of himself. At first it was  just a spoon, but his desire had grown, along with his arse. He found bigger objects, lava lamps, bananas, even a whole watermelon. Lee had no boundry. As Robert's breath touched the back of Lee's neck the goosebumps rose all over his body. "Harder" He screamed "Harder". Robert finished up what had to be done and ran off. Leaving Lee sprawled across the floor, gasping for air. It had been the first time he had ever made love, and he knew as well as we do, that it is his last.

It wasn't long before Lee came down with a flu and had to make an appointment with the doctor. He wondered if it had been heartbreak. He had often heard tales of men that had lost a loved one and could no longer go on."Hmmm...." Said the doctor, intent on figuring out the problem.
"What is it, Doctor, am I heartbroken?" Lee said, as gay as a bag of flamingo's.
"Well, not heartbroken. Do you engage in homosexual activities, Mr Timmons Batchelor?" The doctor replied.
"Yes, please tell me what it is, I must know!" Lee said, as angry as possible whilst still sounding like a penny whistle.
"I don't quite know how to say this Mr Timmons, but, You have obtained the HIV virus. I'm sorry" The doctor said remorsefully.
"Oh poop" Lee said, distraught.
It wasn't long after that Lee passed away, another victim of unprotected sex. Another victim of the HIV virus. So let this be a lesson to those of you who try to get into the gay scene without some rubber. Lee was not mourned. Lee was only remembered through this. This is Lee's tale, the only remaining documents of his life, as he would have wanted them told. Truly and without censorship.