MY DARK SECRET a confession

Always wanted to know what it was like to be a woman
So I bought two small melons
a wig and a bra
ooh my back was hurting within an hour.

I bought a lovely dress from walmart
pantyhose and a handbag from a bizarre
I tried a pair of women's knickers on
but they were too small by far.

I bought a pair of red stilettos
it was like walking on the moon
how do they walk in them
I decided the dress was just too long
and so I took up the hem.

Finding a bra to fit was a nightmare
ooh they don't half nip.
I painted my face with make up
and put lipstick on my lips
I looked in the mirror
I looked gorgeous I must admit.

So, I put my photo on face book
and got over a million instant hits
from men
maybe the dress was too short
I should have never taken up the hem.

People treated me differently
and politely with a smile opened doors
I got a dozen wolf whistles or more.

Then
something terrible happened
I was stood by the roadside waiting for a taxi
I must have been stood in the wrong place
never been their before
but I got arrested by the law.

I had a lot of explaining to do
but the Judge was nice
and winked at me once and twice.

So, I decided to hang up my wig and my bra
I'd learned my lesson
It was much easier to be a man
than a woman by far.