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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1884213
A contest for the Writer's Cramp contest, about dog pageants
" How did I get myself into this mess?" Out of everyone I know, only I could be in this situation. I'm judging a beauty contest; and not your average bikinis and rhinestones pageant either. No, it had to be a dog beauty contest. And to top it all off, it's Halloween. The only way this could get any worse... no scratch that thought. They ARE in costumes.

So, you may ask " how does a person get dragged into this situation in the first place? " Well, welcome to the life of a PTA Mother. The real crux of it all, is I had to make my own dog's costume as well. My daughter, bless her heart, is dressing as a woodland sprite this year. So what is my poor dog dressed as for this pageant? Yeah, poor Sadie is a pretty little toadstool for my woodland sprite to sit on.

I never thought that i would be in a situation like this. It all started when the ever perky, and rather annoying, president of the PTA asked for ideas to keep the kids occupied before the Halloween fair got started this year. For almost three minutes no one spoke up. Rather sarcastically, I opened my big mouth, and made the suggestion. I watched, horrified, as Julie's eyes began to shine. Perhaps ignoring my obvious sarcasm, Julie declared that it was the perfect idea.

Now, sitting at the judge's table, I can't help but glance around at the other judges sitting around me. All seven of us, other than Julie, look like we would love nothing more than to be anywhere, but where we are. Kevin, next to me, looked more bewildered than I imagine he did when his first daughter was born. We've been watching as all one hundred and seven entrants are pushed, pulled, dragged, and bribed across the viewing area in front of us.

After about half of the contestants had passed, i noticed that I couldn't tell the differences in the canine costumes any longer. I was randomly choosing scores, and jotting them down next to their numbers. The thing that got me the most was Julie. She looked like the cat that ate the canary. No, literally. Not only was she so excited that she could barely sit still, she was wearing a black cat costume. At a dog show.

It really doesn't get more asinine than that. And knowing Julie, the humor of it went right over her perfectly coiffed head. I mean really? The cat is sitting here, judging these poor miserable dogs. That thought alone almost had me giggling out loud.

But what can I say? This whole farce of a disaster was my fault. The next time Julie asks for ideas, I'll just do what I do best. I'll keep my big mouth shut, smile, and help pass around the coffee and homemade cookies that I bring with me. Oh, and by the way, my daughter and poor Sadie won third place.







word count: 396
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