Chapter 11: Now 18 Years And Counting

I can't believe as I write this chapter that it has been so long since my mother went to heaven and sometimes I wonder how long it will be until I see her again. At around 4:00am, on the morning of Wednesday, August 10th,1994, she passed into eternity. After fighting with ovarian cancer. Exactly one year to the date of her surgery. The dates and details of what my mother went through I will probably never forget as long as I am still breathing. At times it still seems to me as if she just left us yesterday. Over the years I have had to learn to live with all that I saw her go through and the fact that she's in heaven but it's not easy because I still miss her a lot. Even after, now 18 years and counting. Only 15 hours after mom passed away, I went to our Wednesday night church service with my dad and it wasn't very easy either, as I recall all we did was cry through that whole service Being in church on that day was what I knew my mother would have wanted. So to honor her and God that's what we did but, to be honest at the time I did not at all feel like being in church. However when I reached my church I felt somewhat better because of the love my supportive friends gave me at that time in my life. In my opinion the hardest thing that anyone living their "Life On 4 Flat Tires", will ever face is knowing physically that we can not help care for the people that we love. This left me with a very big feeling of total helplessness, that was made even worse because I knew that my monthers death is just around the next corner.



There are so many wonderful memories of MOM, whitch is making it very hard to decide how I will start this tribute. My mother was a " Stay At Home" mom, that was somthing she considerd and honor to have the chance to be at home with her family, whenever she was needed. I was always very happy to see her sweet smiling face when I came home from school. To often I would come home crying just because of some stupid kid bully, who has just spent all his school day making fun of me. My mon without fail always gave me a big hug and a kiss, whenever I was hurt like that. Also sometimes it seemed to me that she had a golden tongue because my mom always knew exactly what to say that would make me feel much better. If that did not work there was always mom's great food.



My mom has a wonderful sense of humor, very quick wited and often playing with other people's words or situations and making a joke or saying somthing funny that almost always made me and whoever else was around at that time laugh. Knowing my sweet mother as I do I hove no doubt, she is somewhere in heaven making everyone there laugh. I can't wait to bust a gut with her again. The next time I see her and she does or says somthig funny.



My mom enjoyed all the holidays but she really loved christmas the most. I am sure that she appreciated and loved receiving chrlstmas presents from all the people that loved her but she loved giving gifts to other peple much more then receiving. My mother, is the kind of woman who would so willingly give you the blouse right off her own back if you needed it. She often remined me when I was little and wanted to be selfish, that it's better to give then receive. Whenever she was asked what her favorite part of christmas was, mom would almost always say after the birth of JESUS, decorating our Christmas tree. Mom knew my favorite part of the decorations were the Christmas lights. So the tree and our home was always full of them. Mom also enjoyed hearing and singing christmas songs. Sometimes mom would play tricks on us, with our christmas presents. Often putting small gifts into big boxes as a joke, just to see how crazy we would get over that. Her personality is what made Christmas and all holidays so joyful. I still try to enjoy christmas, that's what mom would want me to do. But the joy I receive from christmas, or any other holiday will never be the same without my dearly beloved mother.



I never knew when mom might suprise me with somthing special. Whenever I was sick or depressed about somthing there was always a chance that she would go get a special gift just to chear me up. It didn't have to be my birthday or, christmas and sometimes she suprised me without any reason at all. When I asked her why she would say," because I love you". All great mothers know just exactly how to make their kids happy, my great mom sure did.



I love music and as a child most of the first songs I can really remember hearing, were the gospel songs that my mom played for me almost everyday and by the age of 4 years old I already had a bunch of them memorized . God gave me the ability even at that young age to almost totally memorise whatever I hear. I have always praised the Lord for this ability because I needed it school. When I first started public school I could read very well but, couldn't write fast enough to keep up with the class or my school work.When I tried muscle spasums may be the first resalt. So because I didn't write very much I also had a hard time with spelling and, I still do at times. I did all my school work by dictaion or memory only. My mother would read whole chapters at one time to me and, then I would sometimes go back to school and ace my test. Mom was a great personal secoratery.



When I get sick I still always miss my mom and that will never change. In those times I really wish that there was a way to hear my mothers sweet voice again or, see her smileing face. I would love to feel a hug and kiss from her again.

Mom wasn't and R.N. but she was a wonderful nurse to me. Mom is one of the most patient people that I've ever known. When I was a small kid, my mother didn't get much sleep because I often had to wake her sometimes as much as 5 times in just 1 night, because of leg pains. Bathroom call, sickness, or some other reason. It was very rare that mom ever got upset witth me about that either. A mothers love is very special, at times mom went through hell for me, yet she did so with a big smile, a very sweet spirt and kindness in her voice. Whenever I had a real bad cough and couldn't sleep, we often stayed up late playing games or watching t.v. Mom was my first best friend and the only nurse that I have missed.



My mother the bible teacher. Mom had a very good understanding of God's word. She knew the whole bible well but mom, really loved studding anything dealling with the SECOND COMING OF CHRIST. My mother passed her love for those parts of the bible on to me as well. I hope to see my sweet Jesus without death. When he personally returns to take Christians away from earth to heaven.



When others would tell me that, I had almost no real chance because of my being handicapped. My mom would say God and you, will make a great team. With God all things are possible. So you should never give up. Mom would often give me some advice, about how to talk with a woman. What I should or shouldn't say to them. At times mom even wrote some love letters for me. When I was still trying to find a wife via mail order, back in the 80's and early 90's



I wish that I could go back in time to relive some memories with my . Oh just to be a kid again, so I could.hear mom's sweet voice calling me back home for supper. After we played with the kids in our hood.



Well I hope that I have ritten a tribute that my mother would be proud of if she was still here to read it. Mom I love you, your the best mother in any world and I miss you everyday until we see each other once again, in that place known as HEAVEN!!