Matter Horn

There once was a unicorn planet
in the great galaxy Andromeda.
It was a world of iron and granite.
Some scrolls were found at Cydonia,
an ancient Martian city and more,
which spoke of this planet called Crunion.
The stories live on in galactic lore,
a lot like the legend of Paul Bunyan.

One story from scroll five, volume two,
tells the tale of Uriah the Dominant,
a strong and charming unicorn who
had piercing eyes, and who was gallant.
He also sported a spiraling horn.
He thought only the strong should survive--
Uriah was a tough-school unicorn.
It was amazing his reign could thrive.
One thing Uriah did was outlaw
all the drugstores, for he saw no need.

Uriah pranced around his estate,
often hawing at the village sing,
spending some time near his golden gate.
Uriah had a passion for Fring,
a game in which the wood from hadge trees,
shaped into rings, was tossed onto pegs.
Uriah was one strong-horned hadge tosser.

When Uriah was playing Fring one day,
he reared back and really let one fly,
causing him to jam his horn into his
unicorn chief-of-staff, who was nearby.

So his chief called the unicorn vet,
a Doctor Nicroun, who came with due haste.
Doctor Nicroun said the horn would set,
but that the horn should at least be braced
with an Ace Bandage for about two weeks.

As the doctor left, Uriah looked up;
then Uriah’s staff, his services workers,
his assorted hanger’s on--even his
cute looking unicorn-concubine,
all looked at each other and wondered:
How would they ever find one of those?

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