Yet another helping of limericks, my third. Is the man crazed? |
NAPOLEON Napoleon was exiled from France Where he led most of Europe a dance. He said, “I could still rule the world, and I will if those Brits would just give me a chance.” LOVE’S LABOURS WON As I charged through the sitting room door two bodies lay sprawled on the floor My beautiful mother entwined with her lover Without any clothes on, what’s more! MARITAL HARMONY Part 1 I’m reaching that stage in my life When I ought to be taking a wife Whose wife should I take? I really must make sure it doesn’t create too much strife. MARITAL HARMONY Part 2 This search for a wife is a pain. It has proven to be quite in vain Blonde, brown, red or gray They all run away So they don’t have to see me again. FINDING A MATE It’s a shame that I’m putting on weight. It’s ruined my chance of a date. I’ll reduce it right now and I just don’t care how or I won’t find a suitable mate. ODE TO BLUE JELLYBABY The best jelly babies are blue. Every day I consume quite a few I’ve tried red and green But the best that I’ve seen Have a definite blueberry hue. HORROR STORY Part 1 In the depths of my paranoid brain A thought comes again and again. If I cut off an ear then I won’t have to hear, my blood, as it pours down the drain. HORROR STORY Part 2 I’m told that I’ve more than one ear. That’s something I don’t want to hear. Two whole ears? What a laugh For I only need half And my hearing is still crystal clear. |