Ham the Astrochimp

Hi Mom,
hoping you are well. I just thought I'd write you a quick line and tell you about the day I had today.

As you know, I've been working up to this day like... forever. It's been hard, working my fingers to the bone, pushing and pulling. I told you when I left Africa, and came to America that I was going to make it big one day.

Well that day has come. It's today, January 31st, 1961 and I'm going to make history. I've hit the big time now. I know, because they keep telling me there will be big rewards when I get back. They told me, that I might even get my own TV show afterwards.

Wow! Can you believe that? I can't wait for the stardom, the accolades and the rewards. I'm not interested in the stardom really,

although that would be nice, I'm just interested in the rewards.

Anyway, the time had come. I was strapped into my sardine can called, MR2 and launched into space. Up, and up, I flew to the outer limits of our universe. I was so high I felt like I had hit the jackpot. I wondered what all the little people were doing. It was so cool; man oh man, what a way to go. It was so much fun, that I nearly forgot what I was up there for, I had a very important job to do. NASA was depending on me.

I had to pull a lever a few times. That's it, that's all I had to do was pull a lever, but I can tell you mom, no one had ever done it before. I'd been training for two years for this day.


Suddenly something didn't feel right, I wasn't going up anymore, but going down real fast. I didn't like it, something was wrong. With a thundering crash I hit the water. I couldn't see anything but I could hear the splash of water as my capsule hit.

Nothing was broken, but I bruised my nose. Ouch, that brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't wait to be pulled out of the capsule. I called out but nobody answered, no noises, nothing just... silence.

I must've dozed off as a tapping sound woke me up. Yeah! They came to get me out, finally I would get my reward, I thought. I couldn't wait till they opened the door, as I felt like a sardine stuck in a tin can.

When they opened the hatch, I peeped out of the opening and all I could see was a bloody great ship next to me, with the letters USS Donner on the side. The crew pulled me out like a cork in a bottle, and took me to meet their Commander.

They put me into what looked like a wheelbarrow, I was so embarrassed. There were cameras around and everything, I had to smile while the Commander held my hand. Ok boys enough's, enough, where's my reward? I thought, while smiling for the camera.

I could see someone coming up to me, he saluted as he handed me something. When I looked down into my hands, I was so excited. I couldn't wait, wondering if I was going to get a nice shiny medal or something. Guess what it was?

It was an Apple and half an Orange.

No way! You mean... I flew all that way into space, for sixteen minutes and thirty nine seconds and all I got was some fruit, and not even a whole Orange, only half an Orange, where's the other half? I thought.

I'd been duped, can you believe that mom; I'd trained like... for two years to fly into space, just to get an Apple and half an Orange. I was speechless.

Anyway, by that time it was lunch time and I was starving, so I ate the dam fruit, as that's all it looked like I was going to get.

I have to go now and debrief, what ever that means? It's been a great day, wish you were here.
've included a photo; I'm the monkey in the wheelbarrow.

Luv ya, gotta go.

Hope to see you soon.

Ham XX