How Did This Happen?

How did this happen?
I can’t believe how much things have changed
How did this happen?
That I could feel such a range
Of feelings and emotions
It’s all so amazing and strange
As if my heart, mind and soul are an ocean
Overflowing with something real and intense
How did this happen?
One day I only feel platonic and it makes sense
We go out and have fun and
I have a dream
Then the next day I feel something new
Why does it seem
That my view of us and of you
Has literally changed overnight?
How did this happen?
I question whether I should fight
What I feel, question it, ignore it
Or if I should take a chance
And tell you how I feel
I’m so afraid you won’t feel the same
The pain that would cause is all too real
This is my life, yours too and not a game
I love how close our friendship has become
And I hope and pray that won’t ever change
Because to me you will always be someone
Who I care about, appreciate, respect, and love
How did this happen?
I really don’t know
But the fact is it did so…
What do I do?
I’m new to the queer scene
And don’t know how to make a move
Maybe I need to talk to more people
Help me find my groove
But it’s not all about me
You have a part in this too
If I admit to you
What I feel
It will affect you too
I don’t want to put any pressure on you
Who knows how you’d feel
About the age difference
Or about the reality
Of being a couple at church
And there’s my family
Who pretend my queer side doesn’t exist
How did this happen?
Is it meant to be?
Only God knows and we’ll find out
And I ask God for the courage
To take a chance and see what we’re really about.