This is about having doubts about college and where I am going in life. Written in 2011. |
Was Newton so sure about that object motion? Or Ben Franklins kite and the one perfect notion? Was there ever a paradox, or a time of sheer doubt? Or even just a time jump, to skip the mind’s drought? The hours in the day can only contain The brightest of sun, but still the wettest of rain I feel I am lost in being between The world I live in and the number 18 What is expected after the journey of learning? Get a job just to piss away earnings? Or store it away in the banks and the stocks, But never be happy, having only strong locks. A lock on your drawer, a lock on your room. A lock on your life, the mercenary groom. What is life’s purpose..how did I get here? I feel I am trapped, but too old for a tear. I remember the days…ah the good old days… Riding the big wheeler fast away from the rays Not a care in the world, not a bill to pay. The tree house that creaked, still forever we’d lay. I can still think of recess, and the game with four squares. Or picking teams for football, pretending we’re Bears. Lining up to go in, being silent in the halls. Making fart noises with my mouth, and writing in the stalls. I guess it’s all over, but I if I had a wish I would again become eight and win back that fish. The vision of Pan fights the blind sight of Hook. Still neither would be caught diving into a book. I love this new place that is six hours south. The people are great, and speak an honest mouth. The food must have laxatives, but for bulk it’s not bad. And the weekends are blurry, but fun times are had. I’m just not so sure, where this all will lead to My work, and my major, already unglued. I know I am smart, yet I shake with the load My autopilot’s panel says it needs a new mode I know what college is supposed to be about. Making the best choices, and walking the right route. The skills make the bills, and the beers make and the cheers And the levels of each have already come clear. So is dreading each year a spot in the wrong? Should I look away from the changes, and just play along? Everyone around seems to be doing just fine, Except I see their true person after a bottle of wine. We are all scared, don’t want to grow up. I take a deep breath and look at my eyes close up. I don’t know what I’m doing or where I should go. The only thing clear is how much money I owe. Everyone wears the mask of revel. But right underneath reveals every true level: They are unguided, confused and mostly unsure Of what they are doing besides feeding the obscure. For now I’ll remain on my daily routine But I hope this has made you examine the scene What is the number that you portray as your age Please don’t forget to get out of your cage. Live for yourself, not your guardians or peers. Listen to your mind, not the case of beers Knowledge is useless unless you can use it. So before you screw up, think again don’t abuse it. |