Credibility

Sleep deprived. A wingless angel. Evil to good and back again. The conflicts of a war inside. Writing is scant at best. Inspiration tireless when you're gone. The table smooth where once it was scarred. My pencil driven against but into insanity.

Words once Living on my desktop. Disgusted with just myself. My own baseless wisdom. Inside my heart, thriving light so dark. Outside my stomach, eats manipulative love. Can't deprive fingerprints. Or bloodthirsty victims. Denying myself the reasons. It always gets better. But it won't. I don't believe it could.

Dark skies don't terrify me. Not as much as sun. Where golden rays expose the ugly. My ugly. Tornadoes may come, but unafraid I'll stare. Wind speaks languages quietly. My ears; tricklings of yesterday. Translations I'll scream into. Rotten meat better then my own charisma.
Carving thoughts over and into. A talent yet to succumb even us. Facelessly amusing. Though some spark of life is worth anything these days.

Darkness may not be so light. Not now. When I want to see... what I love. Disgused, perhaps even lonely. My own two feet can't even hold me. Not when my knees taste like earth. A reason lies within answers. Time ticking by like relying on me. They all do. I'm so bad, so horrid, so oblivious to goodness. I give them answers. Ones that my own evil won't comprehend.

My clothing dirty. Caked in pain. Unwashed now, forever. Underneath mud my own thoughts lie. Frighteningly wired around and around. Black paint across her freakishly long eyelashes. Beauty to behold. When my own bare stubbly ones looked against. My untouched skin shunned. By every close proximity of hope.

Applaud the pride. Carry above shoulders prejudice. I'm useless. Bad. Lost the truth in war. Found credibility inside desperate measures. I'm tired... So tired.

Alone more free then love. Caged something now longed for. Alone no reliance. Love captures more joy. Cover my body with that black paint. Toss it into pits. Blending into my tiresome ways.

Sparkle and shine boys. Youth can't last forever. Same as age. Here and gone. But there's no turning back. Feeble hands are the deposit.
Dance until you fall. Glide until she answers. Whispers into the night. Maybe you heard it, maybe it was a dream. A horror dream of fluid test.
Then it's gone.