The Book of Muzzy

        While collecting sea weed Muzzy had a revelation.
        He discovered the true meaning of life and wrote his
        New Testament in The Book Of Muzzy.

                        $A family sits down to Sunday dinner.$


        Muzzy sits at the head on the table and spoons out a
        meal of ravioli to his family. Sally his daughter is upset.

        Sally: Pa, why can't I have sex? The school gives me contraception.

        Father Muzzy: Sally, the Lord has told me that you should not have sex
                              until you can hold down a good job.

        Sally: But Pa, I'm 25 years old! I need to have sex.

        Father Muzzy: This is the word of the Lord. The Lord spoke to me on
                              the beach, through a conk shell. Now, eat your ravioli.

        Kerri:  Husband, Sally is very lonely. She has taken Schelpy as a lover.

        Farther Muzzy: The dog?

        Sally lowers her head in shame and and nibbles on her ravioli.

        Father Muzzy: There is no revelation about this. It is your choice Sally.
                              Verily, I say onto thee, do not covet thy dog. You must
                              marry a man with a good job and savings.

        Kerri: I have had sex with the mail man and the plumber and the landscaper
                  and the Comcast installer.. and Schelpy. Dust thou condemn me?

        Father Muzzy puts down his forked ravioli and meditates in prayer.

        Father Muzzy: Nay. You are my wife and well employed enough to afford
                              sex with many lovers, but why the dog?

        Kerri: Schelpy has a rough tongue ...

        Sally giggles.

        Father Muzzy: It is good that we can speak freely about our sexuality.
                              I too have had extramarital relations. A law student that
                              I met in pottery class was most agreeable and had a large
                              supply of contraception. We made a porn movie for our
                              film class, which will be shown in India. It maybe very profitable.

        Sally: I have a job, but it only pays minimum wage. Can I have sex with
                  the cashier?

        Father Muzzy looks sternly at Sally.

        Father Muzzy: You may only have sex when you can pay your own bills.
                              Perhaps, you should sell your sexual favors? The Lord
                              hast revealed to me that sex is hard work and a honest living.

        Sally leaps from her chair and claps her hands.

        Sally: You mean I can be a prostitute?!

        Father Muzzy: Of course, as long as you use contraception and earn
                              enough money to be self sufficient.

        Sally: I'm going to be a hooker!

        Sally and Muzzy hug.


        + ^
          V