DEER God, What have I done to offend you

I am a God fearing man, but for some reason, deer hate me. Go figure? First off, I am an insomniac. I sleep one night during the week and one night on the weekend. Last night was just another night I wish I were in bed asleep. Unfortunately, I had the uncontrollable urge to stay awake and get things done.

I was on my way to the house about one o’clock this morning and a deer jumped completely over the top of my corvette. I immediately stopped and let out an “OH MY GOSH!!! Did that really just happen?” Sure enough, the car behind me was as open jawed as I was and said they thought it looked like reindeer flying over rooftops.

Nonetheless, I got home safely and took a shower, ironed, and threw on some clean clothes and headed out to my office. I was still a bit frazzled by the close call I encountered on the way home. Unfortunately, not even ten minutes away from my house another deer jumped out in front of my corvette. This time, the deer failed to majestically fly over my car without a scratch. Instead, it stopped in the middle of the road and decided it wanted a closer look at my driver’s side headlight, which totally destroyed the beautiful flip up light the designers at GM created for my vehicle. I said a few choice words, decided not to try to drive an hour at two in the morning with only one headlight and turned around back to the house.

Being a diehard optimist, I searched for the up side of being the only person in the world to hit two deer within one hour’s time, but it was extremely difficult. However, after a two mile jog at three in the morning, it came to me…

My first reaction was that I had done something to piss off the deer and they were on a kamikaze mission to ruin my day, but then I thought this would be the perfect time to start the business I had been keeping on the back burner for a few months. I have always loved actually creating things and for the past several years, almost all of my work has been done with a computer. There is no tangible product I can say I made with my hands and left for the world to enjoy and admire. The last thing I really made was my oak bed, and that was several years ago, so I realized it is time for me to close my laptop and get my hands dirty. It is time for me to create.

I had an enchanting girl read my palm over the weekend at the Piney River and I have never been one to believe that sort of thing, but she had me pegged dead on. I am overstressed and pour my heart and soul into everything I do. I realize now I must pour my heart and soul into my own happiness. If you can withstand a horribly mixed metaphor, I would say I step up to the plate, rise above the fray and bite the bullet, at which point I seek out a new broom, and take the bull by the horns, then and only then can I play the cards I am dealt without ever crying over spilt milk.

The realization is that once you realize your life and your happiness is in your own hands, you have no one to blame when the shit of the world crashes down on you, i.e. no one but yourself. Only losers and douches believe in luck and circumstances, real men believe in cause and effect. However, you can try to plan events, but the moment they go exactly to plan they no longer are events. I have chosen to have a philosophy on life that many will think is strange and skewed. I have chosen to be excited about each event in each day, whether it is what you would consider good or bad, because each event is just that…an event! I have forgotten that to be able to walk, speak, see, type, etcetera is all a miracle and I simply want to enjoy life from miracle to miracle.

Replaying the deer leaping over my car…miracle. The impossibility of hitting two deer in one night…miracle. The idea that I had my entire life planned out, turned my back on a law career and decided to actually try to make the world a little better…miracle. The fact that there is actually someone still reading this…miracle.

Five years from now, I have no idea what I will be doing. I just want to make sure it is something I love doing and just see where it takes me. Right now I love helping, so I will keep helping, I also love doing other things, so I will keep working twenty hours a day. In Forrest Gump, someone asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and he told them he just wanted to be Forrest Gump. Well, being me is the only thing I know how to do, so it seems like a hell of a career path for me. I would love to see anyone else try it…