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Rated: ASR · Draft · Drama · #1850740
I'm trying to grasp the concept of more Showing and less Telling in my work.
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    The lantern hanging from the tent's ridge-pole cast a weak flickering light. Still, it was enough for him to see her impatience as she waited for him to finish. Standing with her feet spread apart and arms rigidly crossed over her chest, clearly wishing he would just shut up. Such nonchalance in the face of danger to him and his men was too irresponsible for words. In frustration, he slammed the map onto the table, scattering notes and knocking the precious compass to the ground. She glared at him, but did not move. She was in charge of the mission and was well aware of the risks and the rewards. Lifting her chin, her eyes narrowed as she looked at him, as if to remind him that he was only a hired hand.

    Feeling the adrenaline tightening his muscles like coiled springs, he kicked the small stool at his feet across the dirt floor. He stood for a moment staring at the ground. Fear raced up his spine as he recalled images of slashing machetes mutilating his men. "It happened so fast, they didn’t have a chance". The scene was playing over and over in his mind as sweat formed on his hands and brow. This is the same place she wants him to go – again.

    “It’s suicide I tell ya!” he shouted. “You don’t know what you’re asking us to do.”
   
    He saw her moving toward him with clenched fists.  “If you won’t do it, by God, I’ll find someone who will,” she said, without hesitation. “You are expendable.”

    Leaning forward, he placed his hands on the table, standing eye to eye with her. Her tight jaw and narrowed, defiant eyes mirrored his own. Before he could say another word, she lashed out pointing toward the tent flap. “Get out, get out now while you still have a job.” 

    He looked with contempt into fiery eyes that dared him to challenge her again. “You’re wrong, dead wrong,” he said, pounding the table with his fists. Unable to tolerate her arrogance any longer, he quickly turned and stomped out of the tent.

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This is a work in progress and I would like some good constructive reviews to assist me in getting a grasp on the "Show not Tell" concept. All suggestions will be appreciated.
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