Devil in the wishing well

Grand Theft Antagonist)
Im 15 for a moment. Caught between 10 and 20 and im just dreaming, counting the ways to were you are. There wasnt much more in those years then the love we had shared. I dont remember much of my childhood but i can recall every about you and i, all. Go back to 22 for a moment. I wrote you that sonnet for my vows and now i just wonder how i could have let it all slip right through my fingers tips. Everyone knows 100 years is a long time. Time to buy but mostly time to lose. Im heading into a crisis chasing the years of my life that passed us by. 15 for a moment was great but i hate flashbacks of you and i. Worst part of my life, when youve only got 100 years to live. Because half the time goes by and suddenly youre wise. Another blink of the eye and the sun is getting high, we're moving on. Im 99 for a moment and dying for just another moment. Im just dreaming and counting the ways to where you are. Lights flash and fade just like at an old arcade. The computer beeps, i must have fallen asleep. Thats the only way you could get to me like the way you got to me. Time flies by like a beautiful sunrise. My fingers started to hit the keyboard again like spiders running across a basement window.Why cant i do it? Why cant i write this story? The words i keep reading are meaningless. Im feeling less then a cartoon writter. This is my manuscript and i cant even find the synonyms to describe how im feeling let alone how my hero is feeling. I dont know who i am going to send this to when im finished but its going somewhere that isnt here or her. i could use a drink or 3. Maybe at the bottom of an unlabled bottle or two i can feel soothing, sweet release of you. so I drank my self to death and started to wonder what it would be like to see a zombie drive a car. Thats me. Thats what im going to do. Maybe i will end up in a ditch i dont know but i do know that it wont be with out you. Walking on a worn out soul, forgot my jacket but its not cold. You were dark, dark as night. I swore someone was home, its not easy tonight.Shotgun fire in a burning home. All of it up in smoke. Aint gonna meet you anywhere, dont know where im going yet but i sure am geting there. She's up, in, over my head. she was Somewhere in a cheap motel and i wanted to cry but only two tears fell. My eyes burn from ashes. Ashes and lashes. The way they cut across your eyes just like that smile. This night is growing mild but i still feel like a helpless child. The way that my hands shake. I could fall to my knees and beg someone, anyone, please but please, i dont stand on knees. Standing at the edge of my bed i could jump but i would only make it to the mirror and stare at myself still standing. I could watch it shatter across my blood, across my suicide romance but i dont have a chance. Watching the sun rise through a dirty window Just aint the way to go. I wish that it would rain today so i'd have a reason to stay. Cant make up my mind. Ive got two dimes in the telephone but i cant make the call. You always did. Your memory escapes me but your face has made a fate for me. Punch the glass and watch me crumble. Flat on my back, ants on my chest. I wish i could remember the rest. As i started my car i noticed that it didnt really sound like a car or atleast how i remembered how my car sounded. It was old but not that odd. It sounded more like that sound you hear when you turn on the tv to the static and its always turned up too loud. I backed up right through the garage door. It wasnt hard or something i had to do but who cares anymore? I could hear the metal underneath the passangers seat scraping the black top like nails on a chalk board and it tore though my head as sparks lit the world around me on fire. I could see in the rear view mirror, the scratches the door was making in the street. I couldnt see anyone but i knew, i knew they where standing on their always too low balchonys staring, glaring at me. Wondering what on Gods green earth i was doing. Well God isnt here anymore. He is in a far off land helping someone who doesnt need it because he cant save me. I almost went through three red lights before i even noticed that anyone was following me. I say almost because i didnt make it. The police sirens where amost as bright as the sparks flaring out from my tires, melting them away. I could hear them screaming at me, telling me to stop. I couldnt. Not now, even if i wanted to. Thats where it ended, not in a hole like i wanted. I remember some of what happened after that with the ambulance and all. In the hospital. A bunch of boring mishaps that could have been avoided had i wanted them to. Someting inside of me is breaking. Something inside says theres somewhere better than this. I cant recall if wishes count at all and i cant really say what i might believe but if God made me he's in love with you. I think its come time to change but ive never needed anyone in anyway more than i need you tonight. They say the captain is calling me and the April skies are falling all over me. Something inside of me is pushing it all away. Bloudshot fire clouds at the back of my horizon line but its not really mine anymore. I gave it all away to be free but no one else can live like me. i cant be sure if this at all is real because im begining to not feel, maybe a few more pills can keep me from getting ill. Just like your hand on my cheek, thats the one thing i wish i could keep all to myself. Would you let it be our little secret? Can you give me a sign, give me anything, i wont tell a soul. Watching the sunset through dirty eyes makes everything else seem like lies. My life is in shambles just like the shingles no longer on my roof. I keep trying to open the front door but im still on this asphalt floor. Im dying to wake up tomorrow without you in m head again. Im dying to forget about, forget that you ever lived. Theres a shade that has come over this heart thats coping with laying down to rest. Im dying for a distraction to get you away from me. Im trying to reach a conclusion so that the world can see. So they can see this story of love and glory that broke before it bent. Im dying to live without you agian. The first time that you left i said goodbye and now there isnt even a prayer that can survive the night with me. Im dying to die just to come back so we can meet again. Dying to say what i should have always said, everything that was always stuck in my head. Its a strange emotion this but theres still hope in this as long as there a breath. Im dying and i cant live without you again. When i woke up was the strange part.
(Arrows From a Pirate)
It was dark there was dirt all around but i gather you could figure that. I fell to my hands and knees, i could feel electricity in my veins corsing though. Jumping from leg to arm, hand to foot, toe to finger hair to nail. It made me feel like i could power a fan or toaster or something. My whole body shut down, except for the faint glow that emitted from my eys and ears now. I fell to my side as i heard a voice inside calling to me. The left side of my body sank into the mud and dirt and forced ot these tiny bugs. The only reason that I could see them was because they where glowing just a little bit more then me. I could feel them crawling on my eyes, attracted to my light. I couldnt move, i couldnt shoo them away. Digging under my nails, cracking them like stained glass. In and out of both ears passing messages to one another and me. Someone sent them as a guiding light but the cant fight. I could see her in the distance. Almost the shade of a ghost but just as beautiful as Cinnamon Coast. I could see every line on flawed skin and those gorgeos green eyes, that long dark hair. Well it looked dark to me. She said, "My name is Jane." In such a small voice that the air carried it over to me like a radio picking up a lost signal. "I will lead you to a place where you might find your self better if you follow me." That was the last thing i heard before everyhing else went black. When my eyes finally opened again i couldnt be sure how long i has been knocked out. It could have been twenty three hours or twenty three days, not really a way to be sure around here. I forced myself to stand so i could wipe the mud and the glowing green blood off my knees and boots.. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as i layed my left hand over it and touched skin. I thought i had been wearing a shirt but it was gone now. Something cold was dripping down my hip and when i reached to find it i could feel my lowest two ribs on the left side of my body stabbing the hot air around me. there wasnt much i could do about except let it bleed. when I tried to take a step i felt my left ankle twist so quickly that i thought it was going to fall off at my boot strings. I fell on my back and kicked my foot against the wall and it snapped back into place. I couldnt feel the pain but i knew it was there somewhere, so i stood up again. I couldnt lift my feet high enough to get them out of the mud but i could see that the glowing bugs where still there and every time that i moved i killed more and more but no matter how many times i did it didnt seem to matter because they kept coming back. Walking was getting to be too hard. I was walking for longer then i can say, in a direction that i cant name. I fell to the floor in such a daze, this place is like a maze. Everything was dark i didnt know if i was running in circles or not. I can not remember what i did just before i got here but i can remember looking at myself in the mirror and shaking my head. Going back over the last of the words that you had said before you walked away from my life, our life. I can barely remember your name at this point but i wont every forget that beautiful smile atleast not for a while after i die. I was trying to count on my fingers when i noticed something i hadnt noticed before. A small hole in the wall with a flickering light just visible out of the corner of my eye. I followed it like it was leading me somewhere but honestly where could it be leading me down here? The wall was lined with flaming tourches. One about every twenty three inches. Which was still only enough to let me see right underneath them. I couldnt see the ceiling, though i never could so im not sure why i looked up. I took a couple of steps into the room and after about twenty three feet i felt my left foot sink in the sand a little more then usual and i could hear this sound, like someone whistling but i wasnt and i was pretty sure no one else was in here. Then it hit me, right in my exposed rib. I never felt a pain like it. I didnt have time to gather my thoughts, the sound, the sound was getting too loud for me to bare. I had to move and quickly. I never have been one for rolling and jumping on the ground or dodging for the matter but when you cant see your hand in front of your face you find yourself doing alot of things. I tried to pull the arrow out of my stomach, twisted my left ankle again and fell behind a rock. I could feel my eyes roll behind my head and i swear i saw...
When i came to the whistles had stopped but i could feel something. Like someone watching me from a distance. I hoped it was her but was certain that it wasnt. I wiggled the arrow out of my bone with tears in my eyes, not from the pain but from not blinking for so long. i kept it in my hand because i knew someone was watching me now and i needed something to protect myself with. As i walked the glowing bugs lit the path and i noticed the arrow that was lodged in my rib was shimmering now too. I raised it up and pulled in front of my face to see if it would help me see what was ahead and it started to grow. It became like a spear though it was a little smaller then that. Holding it i yelled out, but i heard nothing. I mean i didnt even hear myself. maybe too much sound for an echo. I know my mouth moved but maybe no words came out.
There was a flower next to a hand mirror, broke all to pieces. Like a chess board poured from the box right to the floor. The only thing still in tacked was the handle and the frame, all the same piece. I picked up what i could but there wasnt much to salvage. There was some with no so sharp edges and those are the ones that i scooped up. I tried to lift the flower but it was like trying to lift the wieght of the underworld. Everytime that i reached down all i could manage to do is pull off a pedal and each one seemed to be a different color but then again, i couldnt really see that well anyway, so im not really sure, about alot of things. I dont know what kind of flower it was but it didnt have thorns or leaves. each pedal disappered when it left my hand and hit the sand. i could hear someone mumbling. it was hard to follow because it was either too low of a voice or it was too far away. i came to what seemed to be a clearing but i still stuck my left hand out to make sure nothing was there. i could see a figure in the dark. it looked like a small child but the smell of alcohol told me other wise. i couldnt pin point what the exact smel was but it was awfully familiar to me. like i was lying on the beach, basking in the sun, sun, that was something i hadnt noticed had been missing. even though we try to remember all that we can when we only have one hundred years to live. as i approached the shadow it just keep speaking under its breath like i wasnt even there or perhaps it didnt even notice me yet. though i dont see how that could be hard since my eyes are glowing. when i got close enough to try to make out its face i noticed that this creature was sleeping and in fact talking in his sleep. i still couldnt understand fully what he was saying but it sounded like he said he wanted more rum. more? i could smell it from a distance how could he want more? well i guess there is always the want but what never lasts is the effort to pick it up of the ground, well maybe thats just while drinking like it had. the deepness of its voice led me to believe that it was a man. a hairy man but a man. i wanted to wake him. i wanted to talk to him but as i reached for his shoulder to shake him his hand, much quicker then i had anticipated grabed my wrist as he growled at me like i was trying to take a bone from a dog. i didnt know what to think and all i could say was who are you? he said in a voice that was scratched by a bear. "im not that important now, you should leave me to my sleep anyhow. unless you have wine whiskey or rye i find my self having to ask you why you had made me open my eyes. And here's a riddle for you son. whats the meaning in life, if its not rum, while you are always on the run? i could use some bourbon, some good old number seven, thats my world, what kind of world do you want? lonely yeah thats the word. the nights go on forever and the days do too. how can i see the sun or the moon if i cant see you?" He sounded like an aging rockstar after too many years of singing and smoke. his voice was scratched but he could still hit that high note. i took a moment to my self trying to figure out this riddle if thats what it really was. i had no answers left in head. i couldnt think or focus. everything almost slipped away because i was 15 for a moment and he almost did too so i spoke up with my name. He said, "nice to meet you please be on your way. i dont have the time to chase." I yelled " i need you to tell me where im at, i dont want to argue but i cant just shrug you away but you have all the answers that i need tell me what i wanna hear and thats all that you have to say." i finally got him to stand up and he wasnt more then three feet tall. though at this point i could see the fire in his eyes and that was more then enough to intimidate. his long snout opened and his three inch nails touched my stomach as he spoke. " im not here for you, im not even here for me, i dont have the asnwers you seek. if you need help if you need guidance, go to the hotel and find your attonment there. for i am not the reason for the good you have done in your life. if you need to free your soul, well then you need to give up control. and there is only one being who is seeing fit to help with a task that tinted. Now unless you have buisness with my bottle, which you dont because its mine, i suggest that you leave." i took a step back to try and gather my thoughts but once again every thing was blank and words just came out. " then come with me and we will face what ever demon we come across together. I picked up these things and i do not know what they mean." "what makes you think that i do boy?" i was in fact not sure why i thought he would know them, he hasnt even seen them yet so it was unlikely anyway. still i asked and everytime that i said something it seemed to make him madder and madder. "because you have been here longer then me. you should know this place better then i." i was begining to cower in fear now because i knew not what his reactions would be to anything i said or did and after every word you could see me lower my head and move back in the sand. " how do you know how long i have been here when youre not even sure how long you have been here? how do you even know this place is real? yeah, i know you found the mirror and I did too. i wished to erase the sins of the riteous but i couldnt find the hotel and i have been stuck here and here is where i plan to stay. I riged the arrows to shoot at you and im sure it scared you but you cant die here or you would have never found me but by now im sure that is something that we both wish. now go! there is a tunnel over that way that will set you on the right path." he fell back back into his stone chair and closed his eyes again as soon as he finished that sentence. i had nothing more to offer or to say so i started walking the way he was oddly still pointing. had he really been here longer then me? how did he know that i had that mirror with me...
beams shot through my eyes like a deer in headlights. the pain in my brain was the all the same if you hit that massive doe frame, then came crashing through the windshield face first in the nevada desert. this time i could see the currents go up and down my arms and legs like they where attracted to my mouth and nose. way off in the distance always too far away there she was. i could hear...her...again. " if you go right you'll be left at a big hotel, you'll meet the devil at the bottom of the wishing well you better give him something give him some thing good like everybody else he's misunderstood. its a long way out but your gonna make it out. youre as holy as a ghost but who loves you the most? if you offer i might let you carry me. in the end its the wealth of your spirit now hurry up and get on with it." jane said to me like i was the only one left in the world. like she wanted to be my girl. i never heard words that made me feel so much at the same time but was she real or just and empty dream? if i could only touch her id know the truth. every ounce of her power drained my body lower and lower just ike before and just like before i couldnt keep my eyes open long enough to see her walk away.

(Bella's Birthday Cake)
There was a birthday cake in the middle of the room. resting on a table made of cherry wood. it had carvings on all of the legs though im not sure what it said it looked like four letters. there was only one candle on the three tier cake. yeah, it had three tiers but instead of having different sizes they all looked to be pretty close to the same which is something i had never seen before. i took three steps toward it and looked over my left shoulder but saw nothing. as i aproached it my fingers reached out and i wanted to just punch my whole arm through it but all i could do was remove the candle. for some reason that was the only thing that seemed out of place, which is odd all things considered. i stuck the burning candle in my pocket but that didnt seem to matter. weather it went out or not i dont know. as i pulled my hand back out i cut my finger on a piece of glass that i had stuck in there before from the mirror, it scared me and i glanced over my shoulder again but still saw nothing, well i did notice that the floor was made of blue and tile. It just seemed like someone was following me. the thing about this is that my foot prints fell right through it but as i picked my foot up again the tiles sprang back to life like nothing had ever happened but that was only one the blue tiles. when i stepped on the white nothing moved. there was a large set of cherry wood double doors with the same markings as the table but i still couldnt be exact on what it said though it seemed to spell out bela. i reached out for the handle cautious of what could happen, electric shock, burning hot, that sort of thing. all of my fingers grabbed it at once, praying for the best but hoping for the worst. what could possibly happen? it was just a door knob after all. turn, turn, nothing. it wasnt locked.i could tell from how it moved but it wouldnt budge. i turn the handle again just to make sure, then the lights went out. i panicked for a few seconds as i put my lower back to the door knob. then i remembered the candle in my pocket. i pulled it out and it was in fact still lit. i could only see in the three inches of light that it produced but that was better then nothing i suppose. my eyes lit up again but if i held the candle out far enough then it gave a little more light. i heard a scream that sounded like a cat and a bear fighting. it seemed like it came from up stairs somewhere but with all the tile around it could have echoed from anywhere. claws clacking on the tile like someone was trying to sneek up on me, which wouldnt be hard as i couldnt see anything but my candle. i could feel them getting closer and closer as i pressed my back against the door harder and harder. all that was going through my head was, the birthday cake, the birthday cake, something, it has to help. so i took off at as full a sprint as i could in the straightest line i have ever ran. but i ran too fast, saw a flash and smashed right into the solid wood table. i flipped over and landed on my back but thankfully the birthday cake broke my fall. the little glowing bugs werent gone but even they were too faint for me too see. i could barely move but i made it to my hands and knees. the claws, the damn claws were all around me now. i swung my fist but didnt hit anything. i heard a snarl that sounded like a laugh. they were laughing at me. so i stood up again and stumbled back a few steps. i was hoping to land on atleast one of them but no luck. i could feel their cold breath down my neck which sent a chill down my spine. a swipe through the air that whistled and cut a hole in my calf. i felt the skin tear and the blood drip down my ankle and pool in my shoe. another swipe across my chest then my neck. i danced around like i could see, took a swing and missed so they took a swing at me as i stumbled around again. it felt like both my arms where cut off and i fell to the floor. my little candle landed twenty three inches from my face and bounced around. I was hoping to get a glance at what it was that was attacking me but all that i saw was a pair of eyes and much to my surprise i saw jane. she came to save me. my eyes shut down. i was hoping she could turn it around. her beautiful body glew like a body in the night as she stepped towards me everything else faded away. jane said its a long way out but your gonna make it out because thats what im about. her words didnt hurt this time. maybe i was used to it maybe there was just too much in my soul to keep count and control of it all. The last thing i remember was a piece of the ceiling a piece of glass falling into my hand.

(Jane says)
Ive been watching you for sometime. I saw you push that man into the water fountain just so you could get away.
"I dont even remembering doing that." i tried to speak but nothing came out, only thoughts.
I wasnt asking a question. I know all of the good you have done and i know, more importantly all the bad you have done. If the world needs saving who are you to say that people should die? People that you dont know. You made the choices, no one else. And by where you are now, i hope to, no not god, i hope for your soul that you dont regret the choices that you made. You put people before your own life but it was never enough. Its Never Enough! You are here now to of course, make more of what you call choices. Though i dont see how you have a choice. Hear my voice now and forever.
She was getting louder, not screaming just louder. Every time she ended a sentence blue flames flickered in her eyes and her hair stood on end. i could feel her emotion everytime she pointed at me. I could feel what passion she had left everytime her mouth opened. It all coursed through me like she was my blood, like she was inside of me. When i put my hand up to reach her neck the flames sparked my fingers but i never felt anything better.
Its always the love songs that get us through the days. Faith and hope help and heal and make you feel things that you never felt before but love is the only thing that gets you out the door. Wakes you up the morning, opens your eyes the night after you had too much rum and you think that your life is done. You can drink every night but there are people who depend on you to fight for their right to be alive and be something in this life.
As soon as she finished that sentence my body jolted and my left arm was on fire. i could feel my skin burn. Something was there something i forgot to learn. i think it was a tattoo but i can remember. it gone. dont know what it was or why it was there, now its just a blank stare.
Memories fade in and out of our minds. you will learn to keep them close and not just skin deep. I dont think you deserve the reminder that your youngest daughters face will no longer be in your sight you can no longer embrace her beautiful eyes, this is your demise.You did this to your self and now your making me do it to you too. God Dammit! youre here for a reason and that reason is clear as long as you steer clear of your self and listen to everyone else. If you walk away and dont listen to what i say then you will never get away and you will stay longer. Your eyes used to burn with flames so intense you could shock an electric fence and now your too dense, lack the finess to get yourself out of this mess. My God what were you thinking coming here? did you even think of what would happen? No, no, of course you didnt that is why you are here. Do you think that you have something to prove, something to lose or is this just something for you to do?
Again i could feel the little bugs scratching through my skin and crawling underneath. bumps on my scalp as they made there way to my eyes and ears forcing me to listen. holes all over my body from them piercing the same scars as they did the last time. i still coulndt move but i could feel them skittering inside of me.
I cant even think right now. There is too much to do and oh so much time to do it in. Feed the dogs, make a pie, shower the garden, smoke a cigarette, no no not enough time for all of that. you see what you are doing to me, what you are doing to yourself. I could pull out my hair and rip off my nose, is that what you want? no i suppose not but you have a funny way of showing it. You, your life, what is it worth to you? It means nothing to me but me, my life, it means the world even though im just a girl. You can smoke cigarettes and drink beer but you still have fear, everyone still has fear. Now that you mention it you do have something to prove but i cant tell you what to do. I am so old and you, you are so young. There is salt on my wounds and you just assume that my heart strings are attuned to your good vibrations, false. You cant just waltz into my head and expect me not to forget the nothing that you have done. I already carry to much weight but i cant wait any longer for a box to put it in. What are you doin, just what do you think you are doin, dont try to walk until i tell you you can. Just stay on your knee caps. Is that too much to ask? Flying is not pushing away the ground but you can keep trying and you dont have to worry about falling just failing. You see that there? You make me digress and i need to rest. Let me get back to the black so you can relax. Just go passed that last hole in your toes and dont stop until you get your nails back.
She started to walk away but faded like water vapor on a flame in winter. My toes started to tingle but i couldnt move a single one. My legs jolted like a grown colt and i was one my knees again. My abdomen pulsated like an electric wire and my whole body was on fire. I was able to lift my head and open my eyes and i never missed the sky once but i could kiss it now including the clouds. Mud dripped from my face and landed on my hands. It may have been blood but i dont think it could. My body was weak but i had to get going. I didnt know if i could handle that again. I had to keep moving. I had to do this shit right. I couldnt see anything through the dark but one part looked darker then the rest and that was the best i could figure. Must be the only way. I tried to stand up and i fell against the wall. I could feel the stones carving my back as i slid down a little but got myself up. It was hard to walk in a straight line but as long as i didnt fall into a wall i think stumbling was ok. I fell to my knees, exausted. I needed to sleep, we all need to sleep but i couldnt, not right now. I could feel the broken mirror clanking on my leg. I pulled the glass from hand and screamed as silent as i ever had. Pulled the mirror from my hip to see if it fit. Right in the middle like the glue was still wet. And the whole bottom half was lit.

I started walking again and noticed a shimmer of metal. It really looked like an elevator. As i got closer i could tell thats what it was but i wasnt even going to chance that. Even if it did work. So it was time to find the stairs. Twisting and turning in every direction. Cast iron and cold.