The Addict and The Zombie

There once was a girl named Mary. She was dealing with a problem… You see, Mary was addicted to Tacos. She wasn’t able to sleep, think or function without Tacos. One day, she was finally fed up. She was sick of being addicted, and tired of the struggling, and frankly it was consuming all of her money. She was broke. She was stealing from random people, but even though she was ready to stop her addiction, she just couldn’t.

However, her over-intelligent robot dog, Buzzed, was pushed over the edge, when she came home with the cheap dog food and a bag overfilled with Tacos. He did some research and called Dr. Zeus McBrains, who rushed over at once. He knocked on the door urgently, which Buzz open, to find a pretty younger lady eating Taco Bell.

“This is more serious than I thought!” He cries.

She jumps in surprise and throws a packet of Taco sauce at him. “Who are you?!” She gasps.

He begins explaining quickly, Buzzed’s phone call and how he had explained to Dr. McBrains how exasperated he was with the addiction.

“It’s time for an INTERVENTION!” Buzzed cries.

Mary, realizing all her wrong ways, begins to cry and spends the next hour being counseled by McBrains on how to face her problem. At half past eight, Zeus dashed out, the scent of Tacos had been playing on his stomach, and he was on the edge of vomiting. Dr. Zeus McBrains had a deep secret himself. After a few years in the Marines he had contracted the Zombieatitis disease, and was now in recovery from a Brain Addiction!

A few months pass, and Dr. McBrains and Mary had successfully curbed her Taco problem, now they were faced with a new addiction…each other. After one particularly helpful session, Zeus went walked Mary out to a waiting Taxi.

“Mary.. I.. I would love to eat your brains.”

“Oh, Zeus,” She replies, blushing, “That’s the sweetest most Cannibalistic thing anyone has ever said to me!”

They kiss sweetly, and Mary begins to climb in the cab, unknowingly catching Dr. McBrains sleeve in the door. He tries his hardest to get her attention as the Taxi begins to accelerate, and fails. His arm is pulled off, and the cab continues down the drive, with his limb flailing in the wind, as if it were waving to him.

‘Awe Man…’ He sulks, ‘that was my good arm…’

“That’s okay!” He calls out to the retreating car, “I’ll get it back later!”

Quickly, he goes back inside his home to shower and clean up the green, gunky Zombie blood from his detached limb.

About an hour later, he knocks at Mary’s door, cleaned up and looking fancy in a new tuxedo. As a last moment after thought, he snatches a few lilies out of her garden and formed them into a makeshift boutique finishing right as she answered his knock.

“Hey there, darling, You look nice.” She comments.

“I believe you have my arm.” He replies

“Oh yes!” She laughs, leading him to the living room. “I suppose it’s not every day a lady steps out of a taxi to find a nice gentleman waiting to lend a hand.”

“Well, you know me, I’d give an arm and a leg for you, babe.” He jokes.

They enjoy a dinner together, and after Zeus sits at the couch, motioning with his newly re attached arm for Mary to join him.

“I’ve been thinking a lot..” he begins.

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you…”

“Oh, Zeus!” She cries in excitement, “I love you too!”

He grins and gets down on one knee, “Mary, would you like to be my bride?”

She blushes, thinking hard, “Can we serve Tacos at the reception?”

“Anything for you, my love.”

“Then I would love to be your wife!”

They were married shortly after, and Mary opened her very own variety restaurant for the undead. Their specialty? The brain Taco. They are now excitedly awaiting the arrival of little Jane McBrains.