Dear Me

Dear Me,
This comes as a ritual custom of revisiting yourself at the dawn of every New Year Day. Alike past years, here we get into a fête a tee with ourselves analyzing how we fared on our determined actions in the year that went by.
Things are still no different, you wanted to get a job for yourself – after having quit a well paying and respected job designation, to move into a new country with your hubby – it is the biggest thing you want. You tried with less success and lesser luck.
You wanted to learn driving but you could not give up your phobia of fast moving vehicles. You wanted to recreate your hobby of painting and here I see a few odd sketches, half done paintings and abandoned color pallet in the corner of a wooden chest.
You dreamt of losing weight and yes you did – congratulations! I always like this part particularly when you finally achieved something you had always wanted to – you did lose those ugly pounds that layered your petite frame. Everyone talks of you and gets inspired by your hard work, all the sweat, all the pain hasn’t gone wasted – you look a million bucks. Amazing!!

So the year that went by had been promising enough to realize that with immense will and determination you can beat all the shades of blue and emerge as a winner.
You know your escape from this material world is your writing. You know people close to you and familiar with you are ardent admirers of your skills at penning down words and creating a visual charm with them.
Ever since I have know you – you always wanted to write a book – I know you want to do it – but guess your determination isn’t still so strong.
The hustle bustle of life, shadows of randomness in circumstances, the feeling of being jobless after a long long time, a missed abortion and failing health all did take a toll on the fresh and sparkling mind that was once the cynosure of my eyes.
How long could we brood over the past – Dear me? Isn’t it time to let go the sorrows and swim across the river of hopes and possibilities?
It sure is. Life has come knocking and this 2012 is going to be a year of celebrations. Your goal for this year had to be to bring back the fighter writer in you. Smear the blank pages of the morbid dusty writing pad that lies ailing inside the drawer of your writing desk. Paint your words in the skies of imagination – trust me you were born to do it and this is your only chance.
Life has never been so blissful and kind on you. You don’t have to slog and squish your life in odd office hours, travel 3 hrs across the traffic clad streets, you don’t have to battle an arm pit infection - Hidradenitis suppurativa – that had almost made you lifeless and persistently sick.
You have a fantastic life here in a new country, you get wifi internet 24X7, have access to the world, you have an enthusiastic life partner who always boosts your morale and makes you feel worthy of doing better with yourself.
Can’t you see the twinkle he has in his eyes when he talks to you about taking up writing as a passion yet again? I feel so impressed by the way he reminds you of you being a young Journalist – feisty and energetic. Every day as he leaves for work he always kisses your forehead and tells you – “pen something today” “do something constructive today”. In the evening as he returns don’t you hate when you can’t meet his expecting eye and give him a silent nod affirming of your negativity?
He still cuddles you up and holds you tight and talks to you about ideas, possibilities, dreams, desires…
It is time you undo the burden of a fake ego that you have curbed yourself under. You are not just good enough for a fat pay cheque after a grueling month of work that you never wanted to do.
Move on – see life. It comes embracing you – I am glad you are already going in a right direction. You have already renewed your membership for the reading club and you do post in your rusting blogs.
You have been zealous enough to come across this website writing.com – and see the power of attraction – you actually are writing – what you always wanted to. Call it a goal, call it a dream, call it a wish, call it a passion – It is paying off – you are finally writing!
I wish you luck and love.
You are my only respite and reservoir of channelizing my abundant energy and I am sure you would make us proud.
Gung ho!
Keep shining and keep writing – Dear Me.
Yours
Dear Me.

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