Just One More Thing

Just One More Thing

    I know you are always there when I need you. Not when I want something or just need it, but when I really need your help. You are there whispering in my ear guiding me through life, keeping me safe. It was you that time when I didn't get in the car with my friends whispering in my ear "Just stay here." And when I found out they all died in the crash my heart broke. It was you that time I was so desperate for money whispering in my ear "Don't go in that bank and put the gun away you don't want to do this." As I walked away from the door of the bank I knew you were right. And the next day when money came in the mail from my Dad that got me through and two days later when I got the job I needed so bad. I know it was you that whispered in my Dad's ear "Hey he needs you." and to my new boss "He's the right one." All the times the physical and mental pain was too much to take and I just wanted to end it all. You were there whispering in my ear "It is not your time, sure your pain will end but for all those you love their pain will just begin."  I uncocked the gun and lowered it from my head knowing you were right. That time on the mountain road I had driven on so many times flying around curves. I know it was you whispering in my ear "Slow down" and seeing the face of the young woman with the child in the back seat as she swerved back into her lane. The time you whispering in my ear "Just wait for the next green light you are not in that big of a hurry." The car to my left running the yellow/red light as I saw the truck smash into it seeing the man's body fly from his car like a rag doll and the other car roll over him like something from a horror movie, but it was all too real. The time I almost killed a man in a fight and you whispering in my ear "It's not worth it" as I threw him to the ground and walked away blood dripping from the cut on my hand, dropping the knife I had took away from him. I knew you were right when many years later I saw him in a mall with his two small children and he walked over to me with tears in his eyes, thanked me and said he was sorry. When my wife died in my arms and I could not go on you whispering in my ear "Yes you can it is what she wanted." And I did go on, write about it you said it will help you and others that read it as well. And it did help me and I hope it did others.

    I have lived a very colorful life most others only dream about, some happy dreams and some nightmares. I have read the Bible cover to cover as well as the Quran, the teaching of Buda, Native American beliefs and many others. You taught me a long time ago not to judge others for their past but what they do going forward because this is the true measure of a person. Never to judge someone for the cloths they ware, their religion, views or anything else. Because one day you may be in their shoes and you would want the same respect. Some family and friends would tell me don't write this what will people think. I stopped worrying what people think of me a long time ago, because all of these things make me who and what I am today. I have looked into Deaths eyes and the eyes of a new born baby, seen things that no one should ever see. When the darkness was at its greatest and my soul was void of all feeling and emotion, you would bring me back into the light. And all that time you have always been there whispering in my ear keeping me safe, taking care of me. Every time I thank you I hear back "It's ok it's what I do, it's my job." To ask for more of you is hard, but there is just one more thing. I won't pretend to call you God, Allah, Buda or a Gardening Angel I just know you are there when I need you the most. But there is just that one more thing I need to ask. When it is my time and I leave this life I ask just this one more thing. That you please are there for my three sons and daughter as you were for me. Whispering in their ear always keeping them safe, helping them not when they want it or just need it, but when they really need your help in their life.