painting with pain

I’m painting a picture
Influenced by pain
the colour grows brighter
my body more lame

depression is crippling
it won’t go away
my painting expanding
and for life it will stay

my dirty little secret
that no one can know
covered with fabric
to no one I’ll show

its no normal painting
it won’t be admired
but throughout the day
it is all I’ve desired

I’m addicted to painting
it is my relief
it helps me feel better
it lessens my grief

with no one to talk to
its my only vice
I stare at the canvas
and i am enticed

for my final painting
i will pay with my life 
for my body’s the canvas
and my brush  is a knife