Are You Shirting

         I really want to go to Sam’s birthday party tonight. I have these boss jeans. You gotta see them. They are so cool. But I’m really concerned about the shirt I want to wear with it. Last week when I bought it home, it screamed as soon as I put it on to see how it looked with my low riders. Then it screamed again when I put it on with those hip bell bottoms the fashion industry brought back last year and again with my hip hugger capri jeans. The only thing that settled it down was putting it on with that conservative denim outfit I have. It didn’t scream. Then, just out of curiosity I thought I’d try it with my mom jeans; to my surprise it didn’t scream. Then again with those outdated baggy jeans, it was calm, no screaming. And, I tried it on with those with elastic  waist jeans I wear when  I work in my garden, no screaming! 

         Lo and behold! When I put it on with my cool ragged-out fashion jeans, it was deafening. I finally lost my tolerance.

         “What is it? Why do you think you are not matching anything I select to wear with you? Stop thinking you are not a match. You’ve matched everything I’ve paired you with. If you scream when I put you on with my skinny jeans for the party tonight, I’m taking you back to the store.