better world

So much repressed in my mind, so sick of my life in my mind, so sick of myself.
Bleed me dry I will just fill up again, drain me hard I will just drink up again, being actively inactive a drone of a life knowing of time ahead, knowing where I am knowing where I could be better or worse.
Can’t break or follow the laws prison hangs as a weight above my head if I steep over the line riches promised if I sell my sole to the world but only if I have something to offer.
This world could be so much better it could be so much worse, it could be everyone’s or already is, it’s not mine it’s not yours its ours, I wasn’t invited I wasn’t asked but I exist that’s why I am hear with me instead of there with you.
I want to access the good stuff I want to access the great stuff I know it’s all there I know its hear with me I know I can grasp it I just can’t apply it to what I see each day out hear as an insignificant worker that doesn’t know how to socialise.
I know I can be needed I know I can be wanted to be with to be around if I can just want myself for myself and believe I am more than I am and I am what I think about, I am what I think I am uniquely different and vital to more than one life.
I want to access the good stuff I want to access the great stuff, I want a stable mood and a perfectly insane mind that functions how I know it can, full of truth that shows me a beautiful world inside and out, I know it’s there I know it’s there already.
Walking in and out of each other we create each other’s world when insane I am highly needed and internally highly important, the only reason its wrong is because it doesn’t reflect in the world around me, my life is more than just my life my body is more than just my body it has trillions of life cells.
I hear so much yet say so little my world is small but a big world is calling me asking me to join it to be a better part of it a bigger part of it not just a nut in a cell a true tower of strength and direction not just a stoner of self-absorbed internal brilliance and externally judged as not worth listening too.
I need to be wanted I want to be needed but I am who I am and I need to be different I am one to be avoided one to be left alone until I am one to be not myself and one to be different I seek insanity because sanity is over rated, but I still seek truth.
Parties all around I am no ware to be found, never wanted never needed never there, never grow up in spite or you will grow up alone, loneliness infects even when you’re not alone.