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by Rika Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Chapter · Comedy · #1835969
Zoey realises it's what one doesn't have that helps in finding the Perfect Dream Man!
Who NOT to Date




A/N:  Well, the title says it all. Zoey—a lively and chatty girl—presents you with amusing stories of those who’ve taken interested in her and viceversa. Each chapter I’ll be working on is somewhat independent of each other. And I’ll surely try to update this as soon as possible!

Disclaimer:  Uh…well…*clears throat* ‘Tracebook’ is really just a spoof of an original social networking site. I’m sure you’ve guessed which one! :P

Warning(s) :  None really.

Now on with the story…

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Prologue




Hello there! Zoey here.

I’m  just your average girl at the margins of her teenage years, going to step into adulthood on my very next birthday. Not that I’m too keen to leave behind my teenage years…but oh well! This is how the Audi rolls…what must be, will be. It has to happen, so be it. The natural order…the thread of invisible laws of the univer—oh! You know what I mean!

Well, I’m not here to rant about how life has tricked me or how doomed I was when I found out someone stole my boyfriend or how I love someone and want the other person to get out of my way.

No.

That’s not my story. Mine is a bit different. Regarding boys, but not what you’re thinking. It’s what you’re NOT thinking about that matters, really!



We all go to malls and God knows how much we love to have a catalogue of items that we want. However, what if there was a catalogue which recorded the items we didn’t want? What if such a catalogue existed which could point out the things that could be and should be avoided?

Well…my story is just that.

A catalogue of rejection-prone traits.

But first, let me tell you a bit about myself, just so you have a better understanding of me and my expectations.

As was said earlier, I’m a nineteen year old who loves to chatter, hang out, gossip a lot, shop a lot, gossip while shopping a lot and do what girls do most. However, another thing that I absolutely need to do and like most people of my age—can’t live without—is Tracebook.

Not surprised are you? Well you shouldn’t be. I mean, ever since the social network boom, Tracebook has proven itself to be the most efficient, user friendly and certainly the most reliable form of contact among friends and families.

Nowadays, it’s simply a domestic thing! Everybody has one account.

Everybody.

Like really, even if one is extremely busy, barely having the time to breathe, overridden by the workload or emotional load, he will always be found to leave a post or two on his wall, sighing sadly and mentioning how his life sucks in his rueful status. That being done, may be he’ll stop by one of his friends’ wall to like a couple of pictures where he’s tagged in and so on.

That is the beauty of Tracebook. It effortlessly coalesces anyone and everyone from any part of the globe, just a click away!

A must-have in every one’s life…especially in the drama-filled life of a teenager.

Yes, Tracebook is a beauty but it can be a bucket full of troubles as well. Not only the famed networking site, but real life can also be sprinkled with such problems.

Life isn’t smooth and there are bound to be troublesome bumps and potholes everywhere. Those troubles come mainly in the form of hormonal boys who are just aching to find themselves a date, keeping their eyes open like lone wolves and howling near the walkway of any single girl who crosses their path.

And…I’m one of those single girls to say the least. Single I might be though, but certainly not desperate.

Like all the other girls, I have certain expectations for my ‘The One’ to be. However, those who’ve knocked on my life…they come nowhere close to my mental ‘must be’ list.

Yes, I want a date. I want it bad. I want a relationship, a boy whom I could bring home to my parents and who’d have the certificate of mental and emotional fitness from them…and…other stuffs…not really going in to details…( Oh, c’mon! You know what I mean!)

It’s funny because when you do want something or someone for that matter, nothing seems to surface and the times you don’t want any trivial changes in your life—none at all—you’ll find yourself amidst ripples of addictive, fabulous, too-good-to-be-real-but-surely-not-fake options, surrounding you in this vast ocean of existence.

Sadly, during those times, either you’re committed or are in a very tight schedule to have time for such innocent indulgences.

I say this based on what I’ve seen from my personal as well as impersonal experiences and God would I love this irritating fact to be wrong for just once!

Sadly, it never is.

God seems to tear away His gift-sack and donate with both hands when He wants to and apparently, the times He doesn’t, He barely twiddles a jute fabric of the very sack!

May be you’ll agree with me on this one and some of you may even ask, “Why?”

Then, in that case, your question is a really good one and is as same as mine. This virtually is the greatest mystery of them all… the answer to which is totally impossible to find. Well, in my opinion at least!



So anyway, back to the topic.

After many bumps that I’ve received in my quest for the perfect man, I’ve finally understood what I should look for in someone nowadays before giving him the yellow signal…

No, wait! Let me rephrase that. I’ve finally understood what I should not be looking for in somebody. Trust me, it makes the search all the more easier and greatly relieves you from having to take conflicted decisions or trying to run away from the brink of sheer insanity.

Yeah, now that’s a pain in the you-know-where!

That is why I’ve put together a list of the negative characteristics of boys, based on my experiences.

Not being cynical…you could say I’m plucking out the bads so that I’m only left with the goods which will help me in the long run.

Who knows? May be it’ll help you as well!

So here it is…a list comprising of, Who NOT to Date!



***




A/N: So that’s it for the prologue. I’ll put the next chapter up really soon! But first…please let me know what you think of this one so far. Reviews and constructive criticisms are always appreciated. Thank you! Till next time! :D









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