thoughts of a manic depressive schizo

iv been in my room for six years now. Sure i ahve come out but it all leads back to this room. i brought a chair in so i can read my ridiculous stacks of books and listen to my amazing lp records.. most of my thoughts are focused on a woman i knew long ago and who probobly has not thought of my in 5 years whereas i think about her at least 5 times an hour... Agony is the word to describe my room... alone all the time in my cell. socialy ineptd since i was a childe.. it never bothered me.. sometimes my firnds(when they still called me and spent time with me) would ask me questions and i would just stare at them and not answer, just to see what the reaction would be...you can tell alot about a man character when he is uneasy.i liked to creat certain circomstanses where i could try to find out who these people realy were...allowed things to be stolen form me so that when i ask the person whom i know stole if he had done i can expereince him lying to my face...someone iv knowne for 16 years!!!..humans are odd, i can not understand the things we do to each other.. i myself am guilty of petty crimes and such, im no saint, i stole something right back from him just to see the reaction, he knew i took it but did'nt say anything becaus he knew that i knew he had taken something from me...how do we intereact with these people for so many years only to find they are strangers and thieves and lyers. so now i sit in my rom surounded by things i stole form people who stole form me and missing the things that have been taken from me...once i had a party at my house when my parents were gone and this good friend of mine took the ex gilfriend(recently ex girlfriend) of another very good friend of both of ours into the bathroom and forced her to perform phallacio...i confrtonted him violently for having not only done that to his best friend but for being dishonorable to a woman(NEVER BE DISHONARABLE TO A LADY)... the result was the total alienation of everybody from myself... nobody cared what the real issue was... my 2 friends the one who basicaly raped my other friends ex, well they are roomates now!!!!, how strange this world is... i hope i never have a daughter becaus there are so many bad men out there who dont know how to act like gentlemen and walk aroound with their dicks out always thinking of one thing... and parents... stop letting your younger kids dress like complete slutsss hahaha, geez