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Rated: E · Other · Thriller/Suspense · #1831638
In my 8th grade English class, we were assigned a short suspense story. Here's mine!
          The bright stars danced in the pitch-black night sky, lighting the way on the dim path. The moon helps, but there is something eerie about it- it seems to show almost no light at all.

          Although fear grips my heart about what I am about to do, I force myself to move forward. I push myself to take another step, and then another and another. Gravel rolls beneath my shoeless feet. A week ago this would have brought be pain. But not now. Not after everything that has happened to me; to my family; to my pride.

          I trudge on, stepping over rocks and twigs on the land-made road. My heart flutters in my chest… I can feel it- I’m getting closer and closer. With every step I take, I’m growing nearer. Carrying myself to my doom.

          And my mother’s freedom.

          I stop suddenly. My feet halt, somehow on their own. I look up from the ground where my eyes have stayed for the last half hour. A large building looms ahead of me, yards from where I stand. I watch it, as if expecting it to suddenly grow legs and walk farther from me, allowing me to have more time to follow it.

          But it stays still, just as all buildings should.

          I find myself gasping for breath. My heart speeds up as I realize how close I am to the man who has changed my life forever. The man who took my pride. The man who captured my mother.

          I place my right hand over my heart and pray a silent prayer to God, asking him to somehow help me out alive. He is the only one who can save me now.

          I glance down at my feet. I’ve stalled long enough. I need to get moving, need to get inside. I will my legs to move. I sigh with relief when they do. But something inside me- a selfish, yet smart, part- wishes they moved instead backwards. Away from this place. To a safe place. Then I remind myself- what safe place was there for me left on the earth?

          It’s too soon that I’m at the castle’s door. I look up, and spot an open window directly above my head. And ironically, there’s a tree next to it with a long, sturdy branch leading right into it.

          So I climb the tree. My hands, although shaky and uncontrollable, rise with ease. I’m soon on the end of the branch, scrambling into the window.

          I’m in a dark, vacant room. I wipe my hands on my jeans, already covered in mud and thorns, and now sweat. I press my toes into the plush carpet, enjoying the relief from the annoying dirt. I see a door in the far corner. I begin to run for it, trying to enjoy the luxurious feeling under my feet and rushing before I get caught. I can’t afford to get caught. Not now.

          I should have noticed how easy it was to get inside before. I should have suspected it was a trap. I should have realized sooner.

          Sooner than when I got to the door, grasped the handle, and opened it. Quicker than walking down the hallway like a ghost, silent and careful, but already doomed. Faster than before I even began to climb the tree.

          It was a trap. And I should have known.



          I wake up in another dark room. But the ground below me is not soft carpet. It’s not even carpet at all. It’s wood. A strong, rough, hard board.

          I quickly sit up. The darkness has taken control of the light. I close my eyes and open them again- it makes no difference. The same amount of light…

          I stand up and take a blind step forward and feel myself falling to the ground, fast. I feel my face hit something sharp, then a warm thick liquid fall down my face. I lay there for a second, not knowing what else to do.

          A bright light blinds me. I close my eyes quickly and see spots flashing in my eyelids. It takes me several minutes before I can open my eyes again. Even then, it burns, and I have to blink multiple times to clear the spots.

          The first thing I see is what I tripped over. It’s a human leg. And it’s not moving. I follow the leg up the face of the body. I saw who it was and I gasped.

          It’s my mom.

          I crawl over to her quickly. It takes everything I have not to hug her lifeless body. Instead, my hand flies to her neck. I feel a slight, almost unnoticeable beating. She’s alive. At least for now.

          “How great. A family reunion.” I hear a husky voice sneer. My head whips up in the direction of the hideous sound.

          It’s him. Just standing there, wearing suit of all things. His tie is crinkled. His hands are stained with blood, but his shoes are shinier than a proud park ranger’s are. “You killed all my family.” I snap back.

          He only smiles. “Not yet.

          This fires me up. “You won’t! You won’t hurt her!”

          “And what makes you think I won’t?” He asks, curious.

          I stand up. “Because,” I say. I clench my fists to keep from doing anything stupid that might ruin our agreement. “I will do what you want me to do in order for my mother to survive.”

          His evil smile grows wider. His snake-like ice blue eyes shine. His voice rings as he says, “You agree to my little… arrangement?”

          I nod, unable to speak. Fear grips my throat, and I struggle to breath.

          “Good. Come with me.”

          I take a step forward. Then another. My feet slap the hardwood floor with each step I take. When I’m nearly three steps from him, I hear a small voice behind me.

          “Bridget?”

          I swivel my head around. “Mom?” I cry. Then I see her, sitting up in the same place she was before, breathing and very much alive. But struggling. Struggling to breath and now struggling to stand.

          I run towards her with my arms outstretched. But before I get close enough to touch her, I feel myself being pulled backwards. I whip my head back slightly and see a big, tall, white man holding my arms behind me like I’m about to be arrested. Which I have a feeling is similar to what’s about to happen to me.



          We’re in a different room now. My mom is sitting on the floor in the corner, crying, begging the men not to take her daughter. I try to give her a reassuring look, but her eyes are flooded with tears; she can’t see me.

          I look at him, and he grins again. “Are you ready to say goodbye?” He asks.

          I nod. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I look at my mom and smile at her. “I love you.” I mouth. I hope she can see that. I hope she knows that I love her with all my heart. That’s the only reason I came here. The only reason I’m doing this- so she’ll live.

          I look at him again, and he cracks is knuckles. Another man walks into the room, he looks similar to the man holding my arms behind me. He hands him a small pistol, and quickly leaves the room.
          My mom is weeping bitterly now, and facing away from me. I want her desperately to look at me, to smile one last time.

          I hear him cock the gun. It’s time. I just hope he keeps his promise. My hope rests on the fact that he does. That he saves my mom.

          He aims the gun at me. He stretches his fingers. He pulls the… “Wait!” I cry. He jumps, surprised I stopped him.

          “What?” He asks angrily. “You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”

          “No, I haven’t.” I say quickly. “I’m just making sure… You will save my mom, right?”

         He nods. “Of course. That was the deal, right? Your life for hers? You’ve already waited too long and your father is dead. Your grandparents are dead. Your baby sister is dead…” His voice trails off, letting me figure out the rest.

          “And it’s all my fault.” I finish.

          He smiles. “Exactly.”

          I close my eyes. “Alright. I’m ready.”

          He raises the gun up again.

          I look at my mom.

          He stretches his fingers one last time.

          My mom looks me in the eyes.

          He puts his finger on the trigger.

          A tear streams down my face.

          He holds the gun tightly.

          She mouths the words, “Don’t do it.”

          He pulls the trigger.

          I fall back, my insides slowly dying one by one, pain exploding from within me. As my eyes begin to go black, I hear another gunshot and see my mother hit the floor also. He broke his promise. And now- we’re both dead.
© Copyright 2011 McKenzie Belle (kenzie-kenz at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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