My Muse

“”We’re gonna be one hell of a roller coaster ride”, you said.
There we lie, intertwined aimlessly staring at the cieling letting all these thoughts invade the privacy of our minds when we should really just let them evade us. We always seemed to go from happy, to depressed and hating the world, to happy and then back to hating the world. It was a never ending cycle of unbearable mood swings. I told him, ”you knew this would happen, my love”, and he would just blankly stare at me so I’d go on to say, ”you cant put 2 artists in the same room, share the same bed and then expect there to be no problems.” ”We’re 2 fucked up people with a lot of issues” - you’d remind me. I hated being reminded that. I didnt like being reminded that I had issues and I didnt like it when someone called me fucked up but I knew I had to come to terms with it. ”What do you see in me? ” I’d ask and he’d say, ”a beautiful girl who wont stop blaming herself for the past.” I’d stare off while still wrapped in your arms and then you’d ask me the same question and id say ”a beautiful boy whose thoughts are gonna get to him. Tell me what youre thinking baby.” He’d pause for a moment and stare deep into the melancholy brown of my eyes and say, ”No babe…. tell me what YOU’RE thinking.” I couldn’t.

God, we were beautiful. To fall asleep and wake in his arms, no one would ever see me smile like that. I had the most radiant smile when i was around him but no one understood us and no one wanted us to be together. So we were like two lost causes against the world. we didnt really need anything or anyone but each other.