Chapters 23-25 The Last Letter

Chapter 23, The Night Is Not A Place For Children

The heavy eyelids of my eyes closed with a crash on top of each other and closed tight. Black filled my world in the cold night, the gushing wind outside. Slowly the images of a dream became clearer as I ventured further into my sleep.
“My name is Isabel, Princes of the old Kingdom,” She had a pink dress on that covered from her neck to her feet. The smell of smoke rose from the back of her as she talked to the knight of the king, her father. Both their horses ran into the forest as the first cannon shot were fired. Quickly the sounds of war changed into that of creatures from the night. Darkness covered them both as they rode deeper into the forest. The deeper they went, the sounds changed yet again – from soothing sounds to those of terror and fear.
“How far is it till the end,” she asked the knight. As she turned around his body fell numb down the horse’s side. Left behind on the white horse were the streaks of blood that came from the body. She screamed at the top of her voice, but they were too deep in for anyone to hear them. She heard the voices of people whispering loudly behind the trees but she didn’t know from where they came. She jerked her head from side to side to see but nothing could be seen. Slowly she turned her head again when a louder voice spoke her name. The figure wore only a small skirt over his lower body. His body was well toned and muscular. Long hair fell down his back and the shocking blue eyes looked through the eyes of the princes. He talked in his home tongue that she couldn’t understand. He walked faster and reached her horse in no time at all. His arm stretched out to her body and pulled her down the horse. The clothes ripped easily off her body exposing her white-nude body. He climbed on top of her and removed his layer of clothes. Her screams filled the forest with terror.
“Michelle!”

Chapter 24, Water Is My Friend

The water ran down my face while the steam rose from the bottom of the floor pressing the cold air down. My eyes were closed. I saw vague images of the dream I had, the pink dress she had on, the horse she rode on, the figure sliding down the horse – dead – and then the person that wanted to... “It was me,” my eyes opened abruptly; the water still hitting them but I couldn’t care less than that moment. I turned the water down to just a cold sprinkle of fine spray. I closed my eyes again and saw nothing but a shade of black. Nothing mattered anymore.
As I stood in front of the mirror looking at my reflection looking back at me, half in shock with the other person what clearly wasn’t me, I felt I needed to talk to someone. I needed to get the shit out of my life and get rid of the feelings eating me from the inside like a parasite feeding on my guts!
The familiar song of Windows shutting on filled the room. I barely heard it with all the things filing through my head at that moment. It’s on!”
BrightSunlight was the name standing out on the screen when I clicked on it.

Teenageloser: Hi!
Smileyface002: Hey
Teenageloser: would you like to talk a bit?
Smileyface002: honey would I have been sitting here if I didn’t want to talk?
Teenageloser: okey. True
Smileyface002: honey r u going to cut the chase and begin? Or shuld I try and find another guy?

I looked at the screen with hesitation. The last time I did this my mother almost caught me.

Teenageloser: I slowly undress you with my hands and look at you…
Smileyface002: Perv! Get a life
Smileyface002 went offline

Maybe she was right. Maybe I was a pervert, or a psychopath. Life had the funny turns in and I was just off the whole freaking path.
I climbed back into bed to try and get some sleep. The familiar black shading brought comfort to me and I dozed off.

“Get up. I need to do shopping,” the voice of my mom woke me from a dream I couldn’t remember but I knew it was a great dream, I could feel it in my little tone. I felt irritated that my mom woke me 7 am to do shopping when the shops only open at 9, but on the other side I felt good; better than most mornings.
“Why do you need me to help you?”
“I don’t trust you alone, so get up and just put something over your boxers and come.”
“But...”
“No but’s! Get out and let us go. We need to get you some new shoes and I need to buy food to fill the house. I also need some new shampoo and liquorish! I need to buy liquorish. And washing powder...” she walked out of the room still talking to herself. It made me laugh; in some kind of freaky way I loved her but just a little.
“Why do we always need to go with mom’s car? Dad’s is so much better,” I said when we failed for the second time starting the engine.
“You know I don’t like that car, your dad... I need to buy onions as well!” she said, avoiding about talking about my dad. I didn’t talk again after that. I didn’t want to open unwanted wounds. I saw a small sparkle of a tear in her eye when the sun finally showed itself.
I yearned to talk to someone about the happenings in the year. And my dad... I missed him so much now that I needed him. I hated that God took him ‘home’ if he went to heaven. I just wanted him here with us, to have a family and to have my mom normal again. I have never felt so empty that today, the day that I woke and felt everything was shining like the sun. Shows you the horrors that can happen in ten minutes of your life when you are empty; life is just a bunch of lies that tried to keep you away from realising the truth. It hurts.

Chapter 25, Inside The Belly

When you talk about crowded, do you mean a lot of people? Or do you mean walking down the aisle slower than the traffic outside, people hitting you while almost bumping you with the cart behind you, sweat rolling down your back in the lane where the milk is? I didn’t like the shops, even when they weren’t full of people standing in front of the shelves looking for hours and still cannot make up their minds. It wasn’t for me.
“Do you think we need to take the Black Cat? It is 20 cents cheaper than the others.”
“Mom, I don’t think you can taste the difference between the two, it’s peanut butter for crying out loud!” I looked away with irritation from all the people around me. I hung over the trolley with the food in it putting all my weight on it.
My eyes jolted from the on face to the other. It became a hobby to try and classify people on their facial expressions and the clothes they wore; it kept my mind off the irritation level building up every second.
Her eyes had bags; black lines distinguishing them, clothes hanging loose around her body. She dragged her feet across the floor, but her face was still young. But her body said otherwise. Probably had two or three kids, her husband left her looking after the kids alone; and they didn’t give her really the best time of her life. She was an outgoing, pretty girl in her teens and probably slept with the wrong guy on the wrong time without the necessary protection and bam! Two kids jumped out of her body and ruined her life. A bright future taken away from her buy an over sexual bastard some would say.
“What do you think of some veil tonight? Exotic style with some nice spices and rice?”
“We both know you cannot cook and now you are going to ask me to make it?”
A smile crept onto her face. “Yes!” She threw the food into the trolley and walked out into the next aisle to find something to keep her mind busy. I tried to take in another victim but quickly saw a face across at the end of our aisle. She had long black hair and looked like Michelle, or maybe it was her. Managing to sidestep most of the people in the way, I made it to her. I was one cart away from her when she turned to my direction. Our eyes connected for a moment, but then realised it wasn’t her. With hesitation a walked past her. Not letting the moment past, or rather the opportunity, I brought my eyes lower. She had a white yoga pants on that were a size or two too small for her figure. It was the sight of the day; I felt like a pirate spotting a gold chest, but I didn’t go after her though.
From behind all the people I heard the faint scream. “Jason! Where are you?”
I felt my cheeks turn red when a couple of heads turned to me, or were they looking at me? I moved the trolley through all the people again, sidestepping an old lady who I nearly knocked over. Hopefully without any injuries I ended up with my mom again.
“What is it mom?”
“What does it say here?” she held out the bag of coffee when she asked me. I took the bag and read in my mind first.
“This bag contains coffee... Mom did you really call me over to read that,” I looked over to her side and threw my what-the-hell look.
“Don’t be like that Jason!”
“Like what Mom?”
“Well for one, don’t give me that look. Second please don’t just walk away from me without telling where you are going, I worried myself almost sick.”
“I am almost eighteen,” I said in a low voice; I looked her in the eyes.
“I don’t like to think like that, you’re still my baby.”
“Mom! Don’t talk like that!”
“I will, and I can! I love you,” she put her lips onto mine in front of all the people. Rather, she tried to do it but my body pulled away like a cat from water.
“You always choose the wrong place to do this!” the trolley moved quickly over the tiles through the sea of people in front of me. My mom followed slowly, almost disappointed. We walked through the drink section; with instinct my hand grabbed a bottle of cream soda. It was hot and I needed something to cool me down from the inside. It almost ‘pulled’ me to open it, downing the bottle in front of all the people, but alas I couldn’t.
“I need to take a piss,” I heard the sad voice say behind me.
“I don’t think this is the right place or moment for that. Let’s just finish her and get home before you open the taps please!” I swore the older people get the more childish they turn. Not in a bad way but they become ‘children’ again. For the sad part now, they are left in your hands to take care of them otherwise they just rot in some old place. I didn’t have the guts to take care of her. God help me.
“Thank you, it will be...”
“Jason you pay,” she interrupted the lady behind the till looking at me.
“I don’t have money,” my voice was dry.
“Okay,” her lower lip almost touching the till’s table. She took the card out of her purse reluctantly but gave it over to the lady.
“Sorry miss, there is no money in the account,” she gave the card back and gave a pitiful smile without any affection. I looked at my mother for any reaction but her face was emotionless. She looked down at her feet and just stood there. Without thinking I asked the lady behind the till if she could take savings accounts. My account had some money in it, and I saved the day from a disaster. We walked slowly back to car without saying a word to each other.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had no money left?” I shouted when we entered the car.
“It is personal.”
“Personal bullshit! We don’t have any money left to buy food. What about petrol? Or school money?”
“You sound just like your father now. I don’t like it,” her eyes looked over the dashboard and her hand ignited the car. Ironically the car started in the first try. Slowly my mom drove past the other cars with the awkward feeling hanging besides us.
The familiar homes on Stevenson Street appeared and the emotionless faces flashed past me. The number 25 home emerged and the car swivelled into the driveway where all the old motor parts lay. My dad’s hobby. It made my heart bounce up and down for a moment, but forgot about it as soon as I climbed out the car.
“Would you care to carry all the packets in, I’m tired.”
“I guess I don’t have an option,” she already walked into the house when I talked. The back door opened slowly with the rust already eating away the inner side. My feet slowly walked over the pavement into the house, into the place you should call home for a reason. Mine was to not sleep on the streets. Does that qualify?