This Mother's Heart

Spring brings a sign that everything is new, budding trees and the soft fragrance of flowers. I remember the feeling of joy and excitement I had as I heard the echoes of my newborn baby’s cry. It felt like I would burst with all the love I felt inside. The gentle breezes blew and life could not have been better.
I look back and long for those baby steps that are gone forever.
This mother’s heart overflows with the anticipation and love I had for my newborn baby boy.

The temperature rises with the hot summer wind. No longer a baby I watched my child grow and learn. A time of new independence and non-stop energy, those little eyes would look up to me and he would say, “I love you mommy”. Words that still pierce my heart to this day.
I look back and long for those baby steps that are forever gone.
This mother’s heart overflows with the anticipation and love I had for my little boy.

Signs are everywhere that changes are taking place. The air is getting cooler the leaves start to fall. I saw a leaf clinging to the branch as if resisting the change but eventually it’s weakness against the strength of the wind forced it to let go. Like my teenager on the edge of respect and rebellion, in such conflict with himself and me, a delicate time of balance. A time of holding on and letting go.
I look back and long for those baby steps that are forever gone.
This mother’s heart overflows with the anticipation and love I had for my teenage son.

The freezing blast of winter numbs to the bone. The pain of indifference as my son’s will against my better judgment caused emotions to collide, confused and weary I collapse in grief. My adult son withdraws with no contact or communication from my love that has been misunderstood and confused. I am devastated and lost.
I look back and long for those baby steps that are forever gone.
This mother’s heart overflows with the anticipation and love I have for my adult son.

The seasons will come and the seasons will go. They will bring happiness and sorrow, celebration to despair.

I look up to heaven and ask my Father why? The answer came, as the gentle breeze of spring, be still my child and know that I am God it’s all a part of the special plan I have for you.
Tears filled my eyes as I heard him say, “This Father’s heart will always overflow with the anticipation and love I have for my daughter.”

I am confident to rest in my Father’s arms even when I do not understand.