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It's Halloween and there have been lots of "The Raven" parodies. I thought I'd try one. |
The Teacher : The Raven Parody Ms Lily sat down at her desk One fateful evening, Unknowing of a sight she would see That was really quite grotesque. Ah, now was the time she graded the essays Of the Raven, a brilliant poem – With creepiness, meaness, sadness They had better be good, they’d had several days. She started on Tammy Lean’s report, Good but just to short, Continued to James Ronson’s assignment, Contained great refinement. How Ms. Lily missed her old class so dear, Always thoughtful, Now gone, Her new student’s minds were so mere. Every student had tried their best, But no-one really touched the story, Only one paper caught Ms. Lily’s eye, In which written merely in jest. It was none other than Sam Gogglekin’s A joker, a mess, a fool. Usually, reading a line if his and you needed an aspirin. “The Raven is this poem-story type thingy, that I couldn’t really understand a word of.” The tale began. “Fail.” Muttered Ms.Lily. “I think that the narrator had just broken up with this chick.” “Fail” she thought again. “Anyway, our dude is sitting in his house watching tv or something, when he hears a tap at the window.” “Fail.” “He has obviously never seen a horror movie before, because he goes and answers it.” “Fail.” “He opens the window and this raven flies in. I’d call animal control, but he instead he just talks to it like a psycho.” “Fail.” “So this big ostrich-” “Fail”. “Is like sitting on a creepy statue of a head, and seems to give him advice.” “Fail.” “This is the arts that really confuses me; but I think the raven says he will never get a girlfriend again.” “Fail.” “The raven just says nevermore all the time, which no one really says anymore.” “Ain’t that the truth. Fail.” “Overall the raven is quite disturbing. I would not recommend it because nobody dies.” “Fail.” So the gloomy teacher stayed up for hours Grading the student’s essays, Many many many failed, And no one knew how Ms. Lily could be so sour. |