Continuously lost

Jane was frustrated. She refused to go back to the apartment that she had just begun to share with Crane. She couldn't handle being there without him. Not but three days after she had moved all her things out he dissappeared. There was no note on the kitchen counter. No anything. She read the papers everyday to see if some foul play had gone around. But there was no sign of anything. It was as if he was wiped off the face of the planet. So everyday she found herself wandering the streets of Gotham in a confused non-caring state. She was blank. She missed him. Eventually she forgot how long it had been. She started to forget to eat and most of the usual things someone would do to care for themselves. She was dirty and tattered and she got herself into as much trouble as possible. She didn't have any of her tools with her during most of the fights so she tended to lose. Despite the fact that she could usually fight she let them win out of pathetic self pity for herself. She didn't know how to get up and get going again. She didn't know how to move herself on. She felt like a child again. Wishing that she would be told that it was going to be alright even though she knew that it wasn't. At the root of insanity she had too much time on her hands. Time to think through past actions, pick through them until in her mind they were twisted completely in the other direction. Too much time alone to just delve further into what was hurting her. So to rid herself of the insanity she busied herself picking fights everyday. But eventually when the wounds began to heal the insanity would creep back up on her. She needed more, so she got up off her ass once more to pick another fight, the entire time thinking in her head. "If tonight I die. Who will cry. Who will notice. Who will care." She chanted it as she walked herself deeper into the narrows. She found it that she wasn't afraid to die. She knew that she had nothing else going for her here. So as she walked into every fight she walked in with a bruised smile even though her fists blocked her face no one could see it. But it didn't matter. Only she needed to know.



While in an alley Jane heard a large group of men. She smiled and began her chant. She knew she was trying to reach the unreachable before. But now she couldn't stop reaching so she walked closer to the men with there backs to her. She looked to the floor and saw the top part of a can. It was sharp with jagged edges. So she picked it up and through it like a frisbee at the group. Suprisingly it caught in the neck of one of the men and he fell down. She looked at him wide eyed as the group walked to her. They all started yelling at her at once. She didn't really understand much of it but she lifted her fists though they felt like bowling balls and she was shaking like someone going though withdrawls. Immediately she was knocked on the ground. Usually she could keep her footing but this time she was immediately on the floor. And she was scared.



Then someone kicked her in the face and kept kicking. First it went all dark, then she saw bright lights -- it got extremely bright. She kept trying to cover her face, but they were kicking her in the back of the head, then they kicked her in both her eyes. Her eyeballs were smashed against her head. Her eyes felt as if someone had grabbed them and squeesed  honestly a thought ran through her mind that her eyes looked pretty bad. Vainly she sighed and tried to crawl away still. Then someone jumped on her from their car, and she felt them start them kicking her in the back. She knew that she was probably done for but she was thankful that she was still breathing and that she could still reletively see even though her blood was in her vision. After the third kick like that,  she didn't feel anything. It was like the quiet after the hurricane. It was suddenly silent as they left her to her labored breathing and her quiet sobs.  She knew that her head was as big as a watermelon after they finished. She did all of this in order to distract herself from thoughts about Crane. As she sat there she found the thoughts slowly disappearing, helping her feel better. She knew that he wouldn't be coming this time. So slowly she crawled over to the side of the ally and fell asleep hoping that something might heal before she woke up.



Jane woke up in the alleyway. Her eyes were swollen almost shut. She could barely see. She was confused and disoriented. She had no idea where she had been last night. She assessed her body, slowly she poked and prodded at every bump and bruise on her body. But in her confusion she pulled her socks up and tried to coverup at least some part of the damage on her body. But eventually as she came to no avail she just walked out of the alley. She tried to ignore some of the looks that she got from the people. She knew where she lived and she knew how to get there from the Narrows. She walked about six miles to her apartment complex. But as she got to the door she pulled her keys out of her pocket. She flipped through them carefully. There was the word "bug" scratched on one of the keys which was for her car. A few other keys with markings for a few other things. But she couldn't find the key with the "A" scratched on it for her apartment. The only other key was one with a "C" on it. She looked at it with a confused face for a few moments but when nothing came to mind she tried to put it in the lock. It didn't work of course so she sighed and sat down on the front step of the apartment complex. She eventually fell into a trance while watching the wind blow through the trees. But the slamming of a door about twenty feet away got her attention. A man in about his early fifties was getting out of a car and he began to walk towards her. She stood up quickly and asked the man sweetly "I'm sorry to bother you sir but I believe that I have lost my keys." He eyed her face and her neck and the black and blue tinting that covered now a good portion of her body. She was sure that he decided that it wasn't his business. "Well, I don't believe I have seen you before. What apartment do you live in? I'm Christopher Edwards." She took his outstretched hand in hers and shook it firmly and tried to smile but her busted lip just made her make an ugly face. Her mind once again slipped her for a moment as she sputtered out "Oh....Ap. Apartment ....Si..Six A" As she finally got her answer out in the open his face fell and a look of disappointment crossed his face "You know dear. If your trying to break into somewhere you should get your facts straight. I just moved into this apartment about a month or two ago." Her mind flew at that statement. She had no idea what he was talking about. He must be wrong. There had to be something wrong. "No! Sir..." He cut her off before she could go on with her confused questioning. "I won't report you to the police if you leave now and don't come back here any time soon" She knew there was really no sense in arguing with the man. He made it sure that his word seemed final. So with her mind racing she nodded slightly and turned around and began walking down the steps. She was so lost. So she just started running. She ran all the way back through the city and back into the Narrows. She knew this was a terrible idea. She had no idea what it was like down here. She could be caught by some deranged criminal and taken off somewhere. She had never seen any of this. So she just kept running. Eventually she somehow had made a circle and found herself back somewhere in the city. She squinted and looked across the street and saw a dingy motel sign that was flickering in the darkness. At this point she didn't care. She was cold and she just wanted to sleep again. She looked both ways down the highway and when the cost became clear she ran across and looked around her before entering the motel. The carpet was dingy and the lighting was low and yellow like every other low grade motel. She walked up to the desk and the Gothic teenage girl at the desk gave her a dirty look after Jane paid. The girl turned around and swiped a door key off the rack and tossed it at her with a glare. Jane walked down the hallways to the room on the key and slipped the key in the lock and entered the room. She pulled off her dress and her corset and every other piece to her outfit. She looked down at the green lingerie and scoffed. "Now where the hell did that come from" She whispered to herself. She peeled it off and threw it down with the rest of it. She trudged into the bathroom and tried to ignore the filth as she filled the bathtub with water. She squeezed all of the little shampoos and other soap products into the tub and swirled it around. She lowered herself in and cleaned her wounds. As she got down to her left hand she looked at her finger. There was a ring with the biggest purple diamond she had ever seen. She gasped and took it off and set it on the sink. She took deep breaths in and out she was scared and didn't know what to do. Then her tears began to fall  as she got up and emptied the the tub. She cried all the way to the bed where she curled up in the sheets that smelled faintly like must and she continued to cry until something in the pocket of her dress began to make an odd sound. She didn't have a cell phone so she was confused. She wiped her nose and crawled over to her dress and pulled out a small sparkly pink phone right as the battery died. She wasn't sure why. But her cell just projected her GPS coordinates somewhere in the world. She didn't know where. And that worried her. Frightened her. Fear for what may come.



Rissa had been slaving away over her laptop computer for over three days straight now. She had Jane's SIM card number, and knowing that she never went anywhere without it, she just had to try and track it. After their fight a few weeks back, Rissa had only just begun to feel bad. Many of those things she had said were just out of pure anger, and she, unbelievably, never really meant any of it. Of course, Rissa just wanted to tell Jane she was sorry. It just plain didn't matter what she did anymore...Then the location showed up, finally, and Rissa grabbed her messenger bag, running out of the door, imagining what she would say when she finally found Jane. All sorts of sequences of events ran through her head as to what might happen, but she finally decided she didn't care, and just kept following the signal.



Jane had fallen asleep in the room curled up in the blankets. She had slept more than 16 hours and was just waking up. She got up and walked to the bathroom. She winced at her reflection as she first saw it. She could still barely see anything past her swollen eye lids. She wet a towel with cold water and held it on her face. She sat on the floor as she hoped that the swelling might go down. She began to think. 'Where was all my stuff?' 'Where do I live then' 'How did I get all of these wounds?' She didn't have the answers to any of them and that bothered her. She removed the cloth as it had warmed up. She threw it in the tub and stood up. She was trying to run her fingers through her messy red hair as someone knocked at the door. She knew this was coming and she knew that she should have left last night. But she had no idea where she would have gone. So stupidly she stayed. So as an only option she ran out of the bathroom as quickly and quietly as she could and she pulled herself under the bed. She reached her arm out and grabbed her clothes and some blankets and tried to hide behind them. Then as she was trying to regulate her breathing the pounding kept up at the door. Then it dawned on her. She pulled her phone out of the pocket in her dress and she grabbed the phone and started ripping apart and destroying the best that she could.



Rissa lost the signal right in front of the door. "Dammit Jane..." Rissa sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She kicked in the door, a pretty badass thing to do, in her opinion. "Jane? You in here?" She called out, tearing everything apart. Then she saw pieces of a phone being thrown out from underneath the bed. 'Jane, did I teach you nothing about hiding?' Perhaps she didn't. Well, Rissa drew her gun and pulled the covers off of the bed. Underneath it, she saw Jane, bruised and battered. She wanted to pull her out from under the bed and to question her, but she decided against it. "Jane?"



Jane was holding onto the floor boards under the bed. She was really scared. She heard the door break off its hinges and she let out a small yelp. She held her breath and then the sheets lifted and a girls head poked under the bed. Jane saw that the girl had a gun. So instead of laying there like a complete lump of nothing beofre getting killed she to the best of her ability tried to climb out from under the bed and start running. She quickly pulled on her strapless dress and continued trying to limp as fast as she could away but ended up falling a lot and hurting herself even more. She wimpered quietly. "Please don't kill me"



‎"Jane, darling..." Rissa rolled her eyes. "Why would I kill you? What the hell are you doing here?" Rissa was officially bamboozled. Did Jane not remember her? What was going on? Oh fun, amnesia. It's more fun if you're the one who has the amnesia, because you can recreate your own past, but with someone else, if you lie to 'em, they get pissed. Well, fuck. "Jane... Come on. Come with me, I'll call a doctor and  he can get you fixed up...I'll call John too." Rissa paused dramatically. "That is if you trust me."



Jane scrambled back away from the girl. "Ho...How...Do you know my name." She kept taking steps back but eventually she tripped on something that was laying on the floor and she fell on her ass once more. She groaned and rubbed where she fell after she got up. She looked at the girl. She couldn't be any older than sixteen years old. And she seemed quite convinced that she knew her. "Wh..Who's John?" She asked out of pure curiosity and confusion. Then as she started walking towards Jane and offering to take her places. "Wh....Why would I go with you. How am I supposed to know that your not just gonna take me to some place to murder me brutally!? I don't even know who you are your probably lieing to me right now!?" Jane was hyperventilating and yelling at the girl. She had no idea what she should believe.



‎"You're my almost aunt..." Rissa said, taking a step back, not liking being yelled at, but she was determined to keep her temper. "Johnathon is, or WAS as the case may seem, your fiance. And you should go with me because I'm quite possibly the only person in the world who doesn't wanna kill you right now, I'm the only one who can save you. I might be a criminal, but I have a moral code!" Rissa gave Jane a trusting glance. "Now, come with me and live, or stay here and possibly die. I've already paid the man up in the front of the hotel for a month's stay here for you."



Jane wasn't sure if she wanted to trust this girl but what she was saying seemed to make a lot of logical sense. She wasn't sure if she really was engaged to to this person that she spoke of. But then it came to her. She dashed into the bathroom and grabbed the ring off of the sink and brought it back to the girl. "Thats what this is....isn't it?" She looked down at it intently and tried to remember something about the person who had given it to her. But nothing came to her mind. She sighed heavelly and and handed it to her. I don't want it until I know whats going on. She had a tear in her eye. "How much of my life don't I remember?"



Rissa saw the ring. It was more beautiful than Crane had told her it was. "yeah. That's what it is..." Rissa sighed, and took the ring, slipping it onto Jane's finger. "Wear that, we'll see if you remember. Now, come on. I'll take you to Doctor Benny. One of the best damned mob doctors ever. He owes me a favor anyway." Rissa grabbed Jane's hand, now worried. How many times did you have to get hit in the head, or anywhere on the body, to feel enough pain to make you lose your memory. "Well, considering you don't remember Jonathan.. There's something he might want to tell you, but it ain't my place. so, anyway. I'm Marissa Napier, known to my friends and family as Rissa, but to the Bat as Marissa Samantha Elizabeth Napier. He only says my name if he's mad at me!" She giggled, and pulled out her car keys, being too young to drive, but whatever.



Jane liked the way that the ring looked on her finger. It was as if it were made just for her. She wondered if she was really happy with this guy. She was curious what he was like. Was he cute? Was he nice? Did he treat her well? She wanted to ask the girl so many questions but decided to leave it for another time. She gripped the girls small hand in hers and followed her out of the motel through the lobby where Jane got another dirty look from the girl behind the desk. "I don't like knowing things. So this stresses me out." She sighed and tried again to smile at her but again her lip cracked and then her smile failed. "Well nice to meet you kid...I guess I dont need to introduce myself. Since you already seem to know a lot about me"



"Nice to meet me? I'm taking care of you until John makes his way back from france." She was mad at John, well not mad at him, but mad at the situation he was in. Why hadn't he gotten one of her contacts to call her? Lord knows she had tons of contacts in France alone. She could have gotten him out of there and home in thirty minutes. "What do you want for me to explain first?" She sat Jane in the passenger's side of a dark green Japanese sports car. "I can explain just about anything, but first we're taking you back to my place. you can stay there until things get better. Actually, no. I'm MAKING you stay there until things get better." Before pulling out of the parking lot, rissa brushed back her green hair into a ponytail. "So. Questions? Comments? Smartassed comments? I always liked those."



Jane was taking in too much information. It was just a bit of an overload for her. She still had her questions but she didn't want to bother asking them at the moment. Mostly out of fear for what the answers might be. Jane rolled down the window of the car and pushed her feet out the window. She winced slightly because the wind stung against the cuts on the bottom of her feet from walking barefoot. "I guess I can stay with you... Thank you for helping." She sighed and looked over at the girl. She wasn't sure how to show grattitude. But she knew she would find a way. "As for questions. I don't want to ask anything big right now. My question is what can we eat. I feel like an anorexic model."



‎"Yes, we can eat. I'll have Angelica bring something from her father's restaurant to the penthouse." Rissa pulled up to the skyscraper, and immediately dragged Jane to the elevator. She pressed the button. "First thing we're doing is getting you checked out by a doctor. You're pretty damned beat up. Then we can talk over dinner." Rissa dropped Jane off on the couch, before scurrying to her office. The whole apartment was a bit dusty, it hadn't exactly been used in a while. Rissa had been more... Hiding out at Crane's place. not only that, but with JRTG and everything else, she had been at home home more often. she placed in several calls, one to Dr. Benny, the other to Luigi's, her father's restaurant. Angelica arrived first, dropping the food off at the door and scurrying off again. It wasn't good for her to be seen on this side of town. Not in the state she was in. Dr. Benny came next, and went straight to Jane, and started questioning her in broken english about what had happened.



Jane was in the car and was pulled out by the girl and into a giant building. Jane was trying to look around the pretty building but Rissa kept pulling her around and into the elevator. But then at the mention of food her mouth started watering. She wasn't sure when the last time she ate was. But she was sure it had been a while. Jane fell onto the couch and rolled around a moment so she could find somewhere that she was comfortable on her body. Then a girl came to the door with a large bag of food and Jane excitedly motioned to get up and charge. But then a man came in right after the girl and went straight up to her. He began asking her questions that she either didn't quite understand or she had no answer to. They all confused her greatly so she shut down and eventually stopped talking and bean to fiddle with her hair and started avoiding eyecontact.



"Benny. Chill. The doll doesn't speak italian. He wants to know what happened..." The doctor nodded, and sat the girl back down on the couch, pulling his medical bag up. He started stitching up cuts, and staying silent, knowing she wouldn't understand what he said anyway. "Oh God, I love that girl..." Rissa said, pulling out a bottle of red wine from the bag as well. When Benny was done taking care of the scratches and bruises, doing what he could, he pulled Rissa aside. They talked in hushed tones, before Rissa thanks the man in Italian and sent him away. "He says you should stay here for a while. You might get cabin fever, but that's expected." She poured two glasses of wine, saving one for herself, and handing the other to Jane. "Jonathan is going to murder me when he finds out this happened to you.... This is my fault, ya know."



Jane tried to ignore the pain when the man poked and stitched her wounds up and put ointments on others. Eventually she stopped feeling the pain and she only felt the push and pull of the stitches going through her skin. She nodded her thanks to the man as he finished up the last cut on her face. Then he went to the other side of the room he began to whisper with Rissa. She was curious to what they were saying but knew she probably didn't need to know any way. Jane took the wine gratefully and as she took a sip through pained lips she mumbled a quiet "Thank you" Then Rissa began to talk and Jane listened intently but her eyes wandered around the penthouse. It was quite nice and she knew that she wouldn't mind staying there. Then as Rissa apologized for what ever happened Janes eyes flew to her. "Why would it ever be your fault? And I'm sure he wouldn't kill you." She said with a little laugh. "I'm sure he won't worry too much."



‎"You have no idea..." Rissa shuddered a bit. The master of fear and lord of despair had his ways of getting back at someone... "And it's my fault, because you and I had a fight, and you ran off. I hadn't seen you since then, and it's been almost a month." Rissa sighed. Of fun, she'd have to explain this whole thing now too. "this place has been checked for bugs, lead paint on the walls will keep out eavesdroppers. If you want to ask anything, this is the place to do it."



Jane didn't want to know about the aparent fight that happened between her and Rissa. Because knowing the temper that she had. Things don't always go to well. "Well we can just say that whatever the fight is. It's behind us and I don't want to know about it" She said with an attempted grin. "So.....Questions. Hmmmmm Well honestly I don't want to know anything about the technical stuff. Or the depressing stuff. I believe that I have enough of that at this moment" She once more looked down at the ring and tried to remember something...Anything. But she couldn't and it brought tears to her eyes. "So who is this fiance of mine? Whats he like? And why isn't he here?" She said as she realized that. Whoever he was. She knew that he wasn't here. And it bothered her.



‎"Johnny..." Rissa sighed, because she loved him a lot too, somewhere in the back of her mind. "He's had some trouble in Paris. Been detained. I only found out yesterday when my contacts FINALLY told me something. He paid them off to keep me from finding out, I think..." She grinned, cntinuing. "anyway, Joe is the head of  the asylum, the head psychologist, rather. He helps me sometimes too."



Jane was confused on what this man could have gotten himself into but decided not to ask. Today was just a day for staying out of things that weren't her business. "Is he going to be alrighrt?" She asked quietly. She didn't remember this man but she knew that she should care for him because somewhere still in her mind even though its lost she loved him. Then she asked. "What were me and him like?" She looked at her hoepfully. She didn't want to hear anything bad but she procedded "Were we happy?"



‎"You were extremely happy. And to be honest, I was always jealous of that." Rissa took a sip of the wine, paused, and slammed it all down. Yeah, it was gonna be one of those nights. "You two were very cute together. That was just what made me jealous. But whatever. He's better off with you than me." She grinned. "Besides, I like him better as my uncle. now, I'm sure you want to know how he got himself detained in France, correct?"



Jane tried to imagine herself with him. She had never been in a relationship. Well at least from what she remembered. She sighed and looked at Rissa. "I don't think I ment to make you jealous. I'm sorry. But I still think the other me still loves him. I just don't really know anything about it....Or him" She sighed. She didn't like this at all. But somewhere in her mind it was nice to think that she had another life that she was happier in. She just didn't remember it. So that brought a little glimmer of hope. Unless she never remembered. 'Well there goes that' She thought to herself bitterly. "Yes. I am quite curious....Why are you taking me in. Where is he?"



‎"He's in France, arrested on suspicion charges. Nothing too major, just to let you know." Major lie. whatever. "And trust me. You should love him. He deserves it, and so do you. Besides, doll, I owe it to you, and I feel bad." She wasn't going to say why, so she paused, and slammed down another glass of wine. Her brain screamed at her that it wasn't good for her, but Rissa blocked it out. Stress was driving her schizophrenia through the roof. She collapsed into the couch, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Do you know who did this to you? If so, I have a few errands to run..."



Jane again tried to remember something. Anything. She became so frustrated. She didn't know what to do with it. She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. She picked up a orb like paperweight off of Rissas table and threw it with all her might across the room where it left a dent in the wall and shattered into a million peices. She screamed for no reason in particular and rested her face in her hands as the tears began to fall. "What did I do to deserve this? Was I a bad person?" She looked up at Rissa and then decided she didnt want a real answer. "When is he coming back?" She then whispered quietly.



Rissa's eyes widened. Now she remembered why she was scared of Jane when she was angry. And she'd have to call a guy to get that fixed. Whatever. "My contacts in France didn't know, doll. I'm sorry." Rissa sighed and sat down next to Jane, contemplating breaking into the liquor cabinet for something stronger than wine, but decided against it. This was no time to get drunk. "You didn't do anything to deserve it." Okay, maybe she did need a drink. She poured herself a glass of scotch with ice, and downed it, leaving the glass on the counter. "Except maybe being a scarecrows fiance..." Crap. It slipped. This is why rissa didn't drink, it made your tongue loose. "Crapshitfuckgodmotherfuckingdammit..."



Jane dug her fingernails into her palms and flopped on her back on the couch. She held her feet up in front of her and then sighed. They were kinda gross. She put them down and then looked back at Rissa. She then stole the glass from her and took a deep gulp and grimaced as the liquor burned her throat going down and left that warm feeling in her stomach. She hopped up on the counter and looked at her inquizitively. "What? So I have two fiances?" Now she was extra confused. What was she talking about. She sounded like a fucking nut job. Scarecrow? Had she honestly heard her right? That made no sense.



‎"No no no. Now, keep your pretty mouth shut and we won't have any problems. They're the same person, capice?" Rissa sighed, and stole the glass back from Jane. So, this is what a girl's night in was like, hmm? Well, Rissy didn't like it. Not one bit. "And ah..." Rissa took a swing of the liquid, hardly feeling the sting in her throat. "I'm the Jokers daughter. I'm John's niece. And, somehow, I have a crazy CRAZY crush on him that I was scared to tell anyone about for a couple of years. You can't really love  Scarecrow without being a bit crazy, right? Either way, from what I remember about you, remember I haven't seen you for a month, you're a nuclear physicist!"



Jane was once more angered and confused "Why do I have to keep my mouth shut?" She said with frustration. Not at Rissa. But more at life in general. She glared at her when she took the glass back and snatched it out of her hand. "And you still didn't answer my question. What the fuck does scarecrow mean!?" She got up and started pacing while filling and re-filling the glass as she walked around the dainty kitchen. She pointed her finger at the girl "Don't insult me. I know what I do." She glared at Rissa. Jane just couldn't contain her anger right now. She didn't know what to do with it but snap at random things. It was like she was PMSing. It was awful.



Woah woah woah principessa!" Rissa said, starting to feel a bit threatened. Random Italian was bound to happen. "John. he's a criminal. With ah... Ahh..." Somehow she was struggling for the english words. "Fear? Fear gas, yes." Rissa sighed, and went into the bathroom, and brought a bottle of Midol. Rissa herself didn't need it, she was hyped up on chocolate all the time, but Charlie or someone might be a bit PMSy, and, well... She kept it around mostly for jokes. She slid it to Jane, with a slight grin.



Jane was confused greatly by her random Italian accent. She wasn't sure what to make of it but she decided to disregard it entirely. She listened intently and nodded at the correct moments but the hypothetical gears in her mind were turning up a storm. When Rissa pushed a small box across the counter twards her Jane read it and glared at her. The smug grin on her face almost made her laugh. Almost. She chucked the box at her face. "So where the fuuuuck did I meet him then if he is some deranged criminal!?"



‎"YIKES!" Rissa ducked, the box clipping her forehead. "Ow...." She rubbed her forhead, trying to get the bloodflow to come back to where she got clipped with the corner of the box. "Ya know, that's RUDE!" She sighed, and held herself up with the counter. "You didn't know he was a deranged criminal dear. You didn't know, he was, or that I was, or that Charlotte was. Or that any of us were!" She sighed and motioned for Jane to slide her the scotch. "It's a long story that I don't exactly remember at the moment, all I know is that I was always very jealous of you."





She glared at her. "Your rude. Be quiet" She began to pace and drink agian. "So. Your saying I apparently became engaged to a deranged criminal without even knowing it and he lied the whole time? THE FUCK!?" Everytime Jane got louder her lip split open and she cursed. Then as she assessed her body her stomach growled like a crazy bitch and Jane whipped around "Why haven't we been eating? That is an important topic to me so I think that we should get on with it." She felt bad being slightly mean to this girl she just met but Jane apparently have known her for a while and the girl seemed like she could handle it. So Jane decided to give no holds barred with her.



‎"No no no! He told you! That's the thing! You loved him anyway," Rissa growled, pulling her chicken alfredo container out of the bag. "Come get something outta here. I didn't know what you liked, so..." The wine felt good on Rissa's throat. She didn't want to yell... It made her hoarse, and she couldn't laugh. that was always a downside. "Just eat. Maybe you'll stop being so... so... So.. BITCHY!" Rissa bit her bottom lip, and sipped at her wine, as if what she had said was a compliment instead of an insult.



Jane wondered. What kind of person had she changed into over the past however long she had forgot. Jane was usually a quiet girl who was scared of any of this criminal shit. She was used to sitting in her apartment with her fish and reading all day. But apparently she had fallen in love with a criminal and that didn't seem to have gotten her much of anywhere. Because now she was staying at someone elses house and not knowing anything about her life anymore. She snatched the bag and looked inside and started pulling out cartons and found one with spaghetti in it and grabbed one of the plastic forks so she could start shoveling it into her mouth at a high speed pace. Eventually as her hunger died down slightly and she started eating at more of a normal person pace she looked back up at Rissa. "I know Im being a bitch and I'm sorry. I'm just so confused. Your only trying to help and I have no good reason to be angry with you. Minus the Midol joke." She said with a glare. "Not funny kid." She grabbed a wine glass and poured herself some and started taking big gulps.



‎"I thought it was pretty damned funny! It's my job to make inappropriate jokes like that, you know." Well, maybe she didn't know. Of course she didn't know. Oh well. "you ever hear of the Mafia? Of Mia Famiglia? It means my family. You're my family. And I also think my aunt is trying to get me drunk," Rissa grinned. "You know I love you, dear, but I can't drink like this all the time. I have better values than most criminals!" And rissa sighed again. She wished Jonny was there to help her with Jane. There was no way she could cure her amnesia by herself. Impossible.



Rissa looked out of the large window made of bulletproof glass. Little cars buzzed below, and planes flew overhead. Joe could be in any one of those little things. In any one. She sighed and looked back at Jane, her aunt, the one who Joe loved, and she was suddenly filled with anger. "Who did... THIS to you? Give me names, faces, descriptions! ANYTHING! I have to go take care of those bastards. No one hurts you. And no one hurts CRANE!" Of course by hurting Jane, of course they would hurt him. He cared for that woman more than a lot of things in the world. Rissa grabbed the wine bottle from Jane's hands, took a swig, and threw the bottle at the window, causing it to bounce back and hit the wall, shattering. "Let me AT THE BASTARDS! NOW!!!"



And then she calmed down, and subsided into a quiet sob during which she excused herself to the bathroom to calm down. Fuck. fuck fuck fuck. She wasn't getting soft NOW, was she? Oh, for the love of fear... for the love of GOD stop the damned emotions. Just make them stop...



When she walked back out to the living room, she walked right past Jane, in a daze, and went right for the pantry, pulling out a bar of chocolate and unwrapping it mindlessly. Putting a piece on her tongue and allowing it to melt calmed her down. But only barely. She collapsed on the couch next to Jane, offering her the bar of chocolate. "Madness beats death!" Rissa said randomly, closing her eyes as she leaned back into the cushions.



‎"Sorry. I'm just not in a really good mood right now" She said with complete honesty. She didn't feel even capable of laughing right now. "No, I've never heard of that either. Sorry. And wait there a second. I'm really your aunt?" She thought to herself. It was so weird and forigen to her to actually have a family. She had no idea how to act. Was she suposed to treat her like a child? Protect her? No no no no. That sounded completely wrong. This girl didn't seem to need or want any sort of telling what to do and she seemed to have been living on her own for a while. And if it was working out for her then Jane would leave her to what she regularaly did.



Then for the fact that Jane had no idea what was going on in Rissa's head when she took and threw the bottle at the window Jane yelped and practicly jumped out of her pants "What the fuck!?" She exclaimed and looked at her with wide eyes. As Rissa started yelling Jane shrunk back slightly. She knew that she shouldn't be intimidated by the girl. But she had to face it. This girl was scary and bad-ass. For Jane had no answers to anything she was asking she only shook her head and threw her gaze to the floor. Then as she took off to the bathroom. Hopefully to calm down. Jane walked back over to the couch and sat down. She didn't want her mind to wander. She wanted to keep her mind off of the fact that she didn't remember her life. So she was relieved when she came back into the living room. As she sat down and handed her chocolate she grimaced and shook her head. "It will be allright though Rissa. He will be back soon. Like you said. It's not that big of a deal. Maybe he can help me." She said hopefully. But there was that slight undertone in her voice that made her not even believe herself.



Rissa was so Glad Jane didn't see her cry. It was a huge relief. Fuck... Did she see? Did she? Now was not the time to get paranoid, rissy! "I don't KNOW if he'll be back, though! I DON'T KNOW!" Rissa screamed, before burying her face in her hands. "I... Io no lo so piu... I just don't know!" Dammit, the random Italian was back. Any more stress... Fuck...



"Great, just great. Now I'M doubting him too..." Rissa sighed, choking back tears. "Look... He's your fiance... not mine... I don't know why I'm so worried." Lies... Lies, all of it! And Rissa knew it, but that was all she could say at this point. Her stomach hurt to the point of throwing up now. Great.



"And I'm sure he can help you." Rissa couldn't even keep up the happy facade. Dammit, she was the Jokers daughter! What was wrong with her? She sure as hell didn't know...



"I'm sorry I can't do more, but I'm only 15. I'd do more if I could, but I'm not a psychologist like John. Just... Just do me a favor and don't spill the beans to a cop, or something, okay? Please? For our family's safety, it's crucial you don't tell ANYONE. At all. Not your mother, not your sister, not your best friend."



Jane watched as Rissas face became overwhelmed with emotion. She pushed hair out of her eyes. "Please stop worrying now. I got the information that I needed. Its now all my problem" Jane got up and walked to the kitchen. She started pulling out eggs and flour and such and started making crepes without asking. She didn't really seem to care at all. She was hungry. She didn't want to think about how she hoped her unknown knight in shining armor would be coming to save her from whatever was wrong with her. Jane's whole body ached and she was upset. As she started pouring batter into a pan and watching it sizzle and flipping it at the right time. When the first one was perfectly done she picked it up and shoved it in her mouth only to realize it was extremely hot. She swore that she felt the blisters immediately start to rise on her tongue. "OH MY FUCKING GOD OWW!" She spit it out onto the ground and then held her head under the sink and started pouring cold water in her mouth. She pulled back and continued to whimper as she looked at Rissa patheticly because she was so beat up she looked like a mess.



Rissa giggled when Jane got her mouth burned. Pain always made the girl laugh, and she really needed it. She scurried to the bathroom, and brought Jane some liquid ibuprofen. "Sorry about that, toots!"



With a scowl Jane took the ibuprofin from her and poured it in her mouth and swished it around a bunch before swallowing. She liked the way that it numbed her mouth and made it feel better. Thats when exaustion hit her. She leaned against the counter and shook out her hair. She almost laughed when the dust and dirt fell out onto the floor. She looked longingly back at her food she was making but knew it was pointless now that her mouth hurt like a son of a bitch. "I'm sore" She mumbled and hoped that the ibuprofin would work faster because she could feel an impending tidal wave of pain coming on and she was hoping to maybe stop it a little before it hit her.



‎"I know you are. I've had similar if not worse happen to me." she grinned and sat on the couch. "Let 'em cool off for a few. then you can eat." Rissa leaned into the couch and closed her eyes.



Jane let out a loud sigh and kicked out at the wall. She dashed into the bathroom and then looked into the mirror. Who was it that she was seeing here? It wasn't the real her. How did she get herself into all of this. She had never been in pain like this before in her life. She ached in the worst way. She never wanted to go through this again. Did she really want to remember the way her life was a few days ago? She didn't really think so. It didn't all sound all that great. She grit her teeth and tears began to fall. Did she really love this "Man"? How did she know that she would still love him if she regained her memory. He was a criminal! How would she be happy, get married, have a baby if the person that she did it with was some criminal.



That's when her mindset shifted. She didn't want to remember this. Any of it. And as she decided. It was like a small burden was lifted. Now she could just have a fresh start. Apparently this man wasn't exactly due to come back anyway. She wiped away her tears and then she got her hands wet and ran them through her hair, pulling out chunks of dirt and everything else that had accumulated there. She looked in the cabinet behind the mirror and pulled out some Neosporin and put it on the gash on her cheek that kept throbbing painfully. She limped back into the living room and sat next to Rissa again. "I have decided that I don't want to know anything about what I did with my life in the past....how ever long." She knew she was probably missing out on some good memory's but she wanted a fresh start.



‎"You don't want to know... Anything? anything at all?" Okay, rissa was fine with that. It'd be harder to explain than to not explain, and the less work she had to do the better. "So, you're making a new life for yourself, then?"



Jane nodded and smiled at the look of relief that spread over Rissa's face. She stood up shakely and looked down at her with a weary expression on her face. "Do you think I could go to bed now? I'm quite tired" She rubbed her eyes carefully as she tried not to press on the bruises there. She sighed loudly and waited to figure out where she was sleeping.



‎"Sure, dear..." Rissa looked around, and sighed. "Here, why don't you sleep in my room tonight. I have things to do anyway." Oh dear... Not fun. she helped Jane up, and walked her to the bedroom, then tucked her in. "Good night, doll."



Jane was in bed and was thinking about her past life. She still was curious but still tried her hardest not to care any longer. She was scared to find out the real details even though it may lead to things with her being happier. But she was a coward and she admitted it. She slowly and painfully rolled over and closed her eyes and slowly but surely slipped into unconsciousness.