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by Andrew Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Other · Comedy · #1820419
All it takes to win an argument is persistence
         “I've never really understood what the whole '99 percent' movement has been about. I mean,  schizophrenic people can still be a part of society,”

         “What do you mean?”

         “Well, I just don't see why everybody should be mad at the schizophrenic population. I mean, sure they have a higher tendency for violent crime, but shouldn't everyone be given at least a chance?”

         “Now when you say schizophrenic, what do you mean?”

         “I mean the 1 percent of the population who suffers from schizophrenia. I don't know how much clearer I could have been,”

         “Uhhh, that's not what they're protesting, Don,”

         “Oh, what else could it be? Car-crash victims? How could people get mad at that one percent? They're victims, Jeanne. Victims,”

         “First of all, I'm pretty sure that's not an accurate statistic; way more people get in car accidents than that Second of all, the protestors are protesting the country's richest 1 percent. They think that they should be paying more taxes,”

         “Jeanne, there's a lot of different 1 percents in the world. You don't know it's that particular group,”

         “Yes I do; it's been all over the news for the last month! How is it you still don't know what it's about?”

         “Are you insinuating that I'm ignorant or something?”

         “Yes. And I'm not just insinuating it. I'm saying it. You're ignorant,”

         “I'm ignorant? Says the one who doesn't even know what's being protested!”

         “I do know whose being protested. I just told you who it was,”

         “Yeah, but that's not right! I remember hearing in my psychology class one time that 1 in 100 people is born with schizophrenia. That's 1 percent. That's what's being protested, obviously,”

         “How could you possibly think that's what's being protested? Why would anyone protest a disease?! That's like protesting Lupus or something!”

         “What do you think Woodstock was?! And that's why I said I never really understood it! These protesters aren't using logic in their rage,”

         “Are you kidding me? Woodstock was a concert! And you never understood it because you have a fundamentally flawed view of the core concepts behind the movement!”

         “Those are some big words coming from such a tiny lady, Jeanne,”

         “What does that have to do with anything!?”

         “Blah, blah, blah, blah I like dicks. That's what you sound like, Jeanne!”

         “*ghasp*, Donald! You will not speak to me that way! I simply won't stand for it!”

         “I'll stop speaking to you this way as soon as you stop suckling at the Liberal misinformation-media teat!”          

         “What are you talking about, Donald? I read the Wall Street Journal!”

         “Oh, and that's supposed to be better? God, no wonder you don't know what the protests are about,”

         “For the last time, you're the one who's wrong about the protests! What will it take for me to prove it to you?”

         “An apology,”

         “An apology for what!? If anything you should be apologizing to me!”

         “That doesn't sound like an apology to me,”

         “Don, I'm not going to apologize to you,”

         “Apologize to me or I won't let you leave this house,”

         “This is my house, Don!”

         “This is my house, Don! Hear that, That's what you sound like. Stupid. Oh, and I'm a lot bigger than you, so good luck getting out without an apology,”

         “I should call the police on you, Donald! This is... This is like kidnapping!”

         “How can I kidnap you in your own house? Nobody would ever believe you! Oh and you can't call them anyways; I disconnected your phones and canceled your cell service,”

         “You What?!”

         “Yeah, I sorta knew we'd be having this argument. Are you ready to apologize yet?”

         “Apologize for what!? I haven't done anything wrong!!”

         “Apologize for... being an ignorant poop-head,”

         “WH—okay, fine. I'm sorry for being so ignorant. You showed me the light,”

         “No,”

         “No what?”

         “Say it how I said it,”

         “Don...”

         “Say it how I said it!,”

         “I'm sorry for being an 'ignorant poop-head',”

         “Was that so hard?”

         “Yes, actually,”

         

         
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