We Are Not Doing This.

"We're not doing this."

"Yes, we are."

"No. We means you and I. And I'm not doing this, so we are not doing this."

"Look, what's your problem? It's just a bit of fun."

"I'm on the other side of thirty and I'm a wife and a mother of two, if you don't mind!"

"Well, I'm on the other side of thirty and happily single, if you don't mind!"

"What do you think my husband will say? You don't have anyone to answer to!"

"Your husband will be glad that you've let your hair down for a change!"

"Are you saying I'm too staid for you?"

"Look, never mind all that. We are here. We are getting these cheap. If you don't want to wear it straight way round, wear it inside out at night. Let's just buy them."

"You!"

"Yes, me! Pack those t-shirts, please. Put that wallet away, I'm treating you to a cheap t-shirt."

"You!"

"Yes, me! Thank you. Here, take your package."

"Did you really give me this just now?"

"Yes, I did."

"A black t-shirt with fluorescent red lips painted across the front and KISS ME gleaming across the - the - "

"Boobs. Okay, okay, torso. Chest. Whatever the polite word for boobs is."

"You!"

"Yes, me! And yes, I gave it to you. And we're going to put those on and take a picture and put the picture on Face-book. Don't look at me like that, the picture's going to be on restricted access. For a few friends only. Those who will laugh with us, wearing matching-matching black t-shirts with fluorescent red lips and KISS ME written across the chest."

"If my husband doesn't like it, I'm not doing this. I'm doing the other thing you said - turning it inside out and using it as a nightie. And if my kids' friends' parents see it ..."

"Restricted access. Visible only to a select few. Not including your kids' friends' parents. Remember - you're the one who started this matching-matching business!"

"That was because we had sane clothes which happened to match. Not insane stuff. My goodness, if my boss sees it ..."

"Restricted access. Visible only to a select few. Not including your kids' friends' parents or your boss."

"Speaking of my boss ..."

"We were not speaking of your boss. You were speaking of your boss and the subject is now closed."

"Look, I just got this job and it's important."

"What's a matching-matching photo got to do with your job?"

"It's important that I keep the job. That I don't appear to be a cheap person."

"Your boss hired you because you're the best architect he's ever met. You're the best architect in the dagnabit city, the state even. Look at all those awards you've got. He's not going to fire you if you wear a t-shirt saying KISS ME. Might bring some more clients your way, actually ..."

"Quit sniggering. Everything is a joke to you."

"Sorry, I just thought that your boss would see how well constructed your boobs are. Well constructed, architect, get the pun?"

"Yes, I got it, thanks, and I don't think it's a very good one. You have to be so flippant about everything."

"Well, this is a lark, you know, this matching-matching photos business. It's supposed to be a joke. I can't believe you're taking it this way."

"I'm not taking it any way. It's just important to me to keep my job and to keep my family's reputation."

"Reputation? Look, are we on the same subject here - wearing matching t-shirts and taking a picture for our Face-book friends to have a hearty chuckle at?"

"Yes, but the t-shirts have KISS ME and red lips ..."

"Forget it. Let's not do this. You used to be fun."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"You used to do stuff and go places and things. Now it's just husband, kids, job, rep-oooo-ta-tion, what not. We don't have fun anymore."

"Yes we do. We're not teenagers, you know, can't have that high-school type fun, but sure we can have other type of fun. More grown up kind."

"You mean adult type of fun? Okay, let's go to the strip bar ..."

"I said grown up kind, not adult kind."

"They mean the same thing. Grown up and adult mean the same thing."

"Not in this context. Goodness, we're fighting again. It's like when we were in kindergarten and you thought I'd taken your candy bar ..."

"Kindergarten. How many fights have we had since kindergarten?"

"A million a year, you do the math! Actually, don't do the math. You'd have to multiply by too big a number, considering how old we are."

"Grown ups, that's us. Adults, now, even. Still doing stuff together. Still fighting."

"Here's to us. May we never stop fighting. And about that Face-book picture - just make sure you restrict the access properly, okay?"

"So we're doing this?"

"Did you ever think otherwise?"



Full Counts:
All Words: 819

"What A Character Winners - October 2011 " 
Third Place - "We Are Not Doing This."