On the edge

On the edge

The wind was blowing around his head. The sounds of the city echoed up to the top of the building. Kyle looked down and got a bad case of vertigo. He quickly leaned back and nearly fell onto the roof.

“You’re supposed to fall the other way dummy”

he told himself yea if you even can you worthless piece of garbage, that was a new voice, one that came up about a month ago. Usually the voice is his mothers, calming him, or his friends, always at his side advising him. This new voice was harsh, the voice of his drunken father before he got killed in a DUI. This was one he didn’t care for because it made him realize he might be crazy. It drove him into a depression so quickly that his adopted parent didn’t even notice it. What will Jenny think Kyle? She doesn’t deserve the guilt, that was his old friend Derrick.

“I guess I’ll just write a note”

Kyle said to Derrick. He stopped thinking that talking to voices in his head was weird when he was twelve. They started when he was ten. That was the year his mom was killed in a driving accident, also the same year his best friend developed a brain tumor. The tumor made him retarded, paralyzed, and then killed him all in only one year. Now he talks to them regularly whenever he needs help. Kyle went to the door that led down to apartments and started down.

The stairs are in a weird spiral that is always slightly hypnotic. He looked down them and the voice of his father spoke up. what’s wrong son, to scared to die? Why do you care about the feelings of some fake parent? Kyle didn’t usually talk back to that voice but his dad was getting on his nerves

“she’s more of a parent then you where, it only took you two years after mom died to get me kicked out of the house by the CPS and jenny is a way more caring parent than you even before mom died”

the reminder of his mom made him want to cry but he held it in, when attempting suicide you should hold the tears until the actual event. Kyle reached his apartment on the eighth floor and used the key under the mat to get in. Jenny had already gone to her book club but had been nice enough to leave a note, there was money for pizza and she would be back at four. Kyle looked at the clock and read 2:30. Only an hour and a half to write a note and jump off a twelve story building. He went into his room and grabbed his notebook and a pencil. Into the living room, he turned out the lights and sat down at the coffee table. He started on his note

Hey Jenny, I’m sorry you even have to read this but I didn’t want to leave you with nothing to remember me by. You were the best parent ever, almost like mom. I couldn’t have been more blessed to become your son, even thought it only lasted 4 years. I feel the need to tell you why I am doing what I’m doing. Ever since my mom and best friend died I have heard their voices. They are always helping me but lately my dad has come into play. He accessed some part of me that was hiding and made me feel worthless. I know you won’t understand hell even I don’t quite understand but I need this to end. I just hope you don’t blame yourself and can get over this. I love you Jenny and I want to live your life. Hey that dude from floor three with the glasses has been eyeing you. I love youJenny Love Kyle

He stared at the note. It will have to do because it’s already three thirty. You don’t have to Kyle, his mom pleaded “yeah I do mom, you may be in my head but I guess you don’t understand either” Kyle took the note and put it on the door of his bedroom. He turned and walked out the door, taking extra care to lock up and hide the key. He started to go up the stairs when he ran into some guy he never met before

“Oh god I’m so sorry dude are you ok?”said the tall man standing in front of Kyle, the man had the same black hair and green eyes.

“Yeah I’m fine, do you live around here?” asked Kyle for no reason he could think of.

“Actually I just moved in… are you OK? I mean really because you look troubled”,

the man had genuine concern in his eyes so instead of brushing him off Kyle replied rather quietly

“well, I’m having trouble decide-deciding something”, Kyle looked down at his feet. from the corners of his eyes he saw the new man reach into his coat.

“Here”, he said holding out a shiny golden coin.

Kyle looked at it suspiciously for a moment and then took the coin

“What’s it for?”

the man laughed suddenly and heartily, Kyle couldn’t help but join in even though laughing was the one thing he didn’t expect to be doing today. Finally the man said

“It’s my lucky coin, I use it when I’m having a dilemma. Heads means you go through with it and tails means you don’t”,

Kyle starred at the coin for a while and said “Thanks, but what’s your name?”

the man chuckled once more and said “Stick around long enough and you might find out” and with that the man went down the stairs. Kyle looked down at him and then hurried for the roof.

Once again the wind was blowing. Kyle reached into his pocket for the coin and felt its soft roundness, it was soothing. Suddenly Derrick spoke up, go ahead Kyle, give it a chance, with a moment’s thought he pulled out the coin. It glittered in the sun like a treasure but in his case it could be a key. Do it Kyle, I love you and don’t want you to have no chance so take one now,“OK mom… I love you” he closed his eyes and flicked the coin. It tinkled when it landed. He opened his eyes and stared down at the rest of his life, however long that may be.
R.C.